A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My new boyfriend is really into me. We don't get much time together as we live apart so when we do, we treasure every minute. He cooks for me, and we make each other happy. One thing , however, is that he repeats very often throughout my stay that he loves me and comments on my beauty. There have also been times when he is around when he knows I am changing outfits just so he can admire my body before I wear 'new' clothes. We have been together two months, and it wasn't until the other day that I expressed my 'annoyance' for his repetition. Why does he express his love frequently? Will he do it less as time goes on? Am I right to be annoyed? Please help, thank you. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (9 June 2011):
 Are you sure you are in love with this guy? This reaction is normally caused by unwanted attention.. attention you'd normal be thrilled over if you were in love.
Maybe tell him to take it slow with you as you don't want to rush things, and your feelings need more time. So until you develop stronger feelings for him, for him to take it easy on the lovey dovey.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011):
You are not really right to be annoyed, but you are within your rights. I am the type of maybe more needy person who likes to say I love you and hold hands and touch and give gifts and whatnot while my girlfriend is just not like that. She sometimes gets annoyed at me, too, or the other emotion is that she feels frustrated that she cannot express her love as eloquently or often as I do.
You have different ideas and different expectations. Cut him some slack. Would you honestly prefer that he compliments you less? That he does not admire your body? That he never tells you he loves you?
Ask yourself why you are annoyed with this. Is it because you do not feel the same way?
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A
male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (9 June 2011):
 I think its a combination of two things - the newness of the relationship and him over compensating for the time you dont have together. The first thing may lose its edge with time. The second thing is just over keenness and if its really irritating you you have to be firm. He also may feel that you either dont believe him or doubt his sincerity so hes being really pushy. One way might be to do this and see how it goes - just say 'thank you' I know you feel/mean that, there is no need to tell me and gently remind him a few times when he does it that there is no need to tell you all the time. Try not to be aggressive because he will take that as you rejecting his deeply held feelings for you. Dont worry about being annoyed, it isnt 'right' or 'wrong' per se, its just how you feel. I can understand why it must grate but it should be solvable. Good luck and let us know what happens.
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A
male
reader, wantspaintogoaway  +, writes (9 June 2011):
 You are very right to be annoyed.
I tend to treat girls somewhat similar.
But i tend to only say i love you at appropriate time but still manage to be the sweetheart she diserves. If he acts this way now, he wont change until you say something. Just tell him to back off a little. In a nice way of course. Good luck!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): First thing, there is this law of nature called as "Excess of everything should be avoided". So you are quite normal that you are annoyed and you need some space....About his behavior then there are multiple facets to it. Firstly, he is possessive in nature. He never had a girlfriend and so don't know how to express love sufficiently enough.secondly, he had a girlfriend who ditched him because he was like dumb and would never express anything to his ex and so now he is changed man making sure that he doesn't repeat the same mistake.Thirdly, he thinks that he can flatten you with this constant appraisals of you and his caring attitude for you. So that one day you would surrender before his honesty and then he will have his chance to sleep with you(because you said he admire your body). Maybe he wants to sleep with you because he find you sexy or maybe he had baits with his friends to make you fall for you... In this case, he is the person with zero moral value and you should immediately quit the relationship of any kind with him for your own good.....Fourthly, he is indeed a good guy in today's world. He has really devoted himself completely towards you and he thinks he has found his soul-mate in you and hence he is being so protective and caring about you.... If this is the case, then trust me, you are the luckiest girl in this world to have such a guy. And for this you must respect his sincerity, honesty and goodness. But probability of such a guy in today's selfish world is very very small.....So how will you determine which category he fits into??? Well fortunately the answer is simple but unfortunately getting answer for it is time consuming.... Anyways the answer is look into his character. Analyze him. Create situations before him that will help you judge his character. Create situations in which his help is required but you are not involved into it. For example, find out how he treats the animals(politely, humanly or low-life thinking). Make him say sorry in situations in which he had not done anything wrong. Then analyze his state of mind. If he says sorry then it is possibility of first two cases and so quit immediately without thinking further. If he stands for himself in believing rationality then good chance that it is case four.Next, for case three determination, check his attitude when some sexy/pretty girl pass by.... If over stalking then case three.... He may fake in front of you... So better ask some of your friend or try to catch him red handed....Analyze how he responds to the beggar. Determine how he treats his parents and behave with his family. Check the kind of friend circle he has...In the end, my advice is two months is too early to say anything and finally it will be you only who has to make a decision...... We can only advice or show you the way... It is you who has to walk the way....So trust your gut feelings and trust in god, you will find your answer slowly but surely on time when you will need it most.....
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A
female
reader, MissTellAll +, writes (9 June 2011):
 I think he's just that into you! I'd be extremely grateful to have someone who admired me so much.
If you aren't comfortable with his constant affection however, then talk to him about it. You might just not be the affectionate type- which is completely okay!
He seems like a very vocal person when it comes to how he feels, yes? He just loves you, from what you've described. He cooks for you because he wants to show you his appreciation. He calls you beautiful because he wants you to feel good about yourself and he simply thinks your beautiful. These are good things in general, but maybe you just don't like all the mushy gushy love stuff. Tell him that.
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A
male
reader, freeme +, writes (9 June 2011):
 Read up a bit a dependency or co-dependency. It sounds to me like he might have some issues there. He might be getting a sense of security from you. He insists on repeating his love for you out of fear of losing you. (Ironic how it could annoy you enough to make you go away, eh?)
Try an experiment. Before you do, I encourage you NOT to say anything you don't mean. Tell him how much you value the relationship, and that you can't imagine yourself leaving him anytime in the near future. See if that decreases the amount of 'I love you's' you hear. Does it? Maybe we are on to something.
Otherwise, he is just head over heels.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (9 June 2011):
 There are plenty of women that would LOVE to be in your place. You are still in the "Honeymoon Phase" of your relationship. After a few more months, this will quiet down to a more likable level for you.
Let him gush and admire you. He is smitten. Maybe he has good reason to!
You would miss it if he said NOTHING or was always second guessing himself WHEN it was ok just to express himself. He makes the most of his time with you and wants you to know he fancies you. Relax!
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