A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have been dating for nearly 2 years and love each other dearly. THe only thing is that I feel that I am uninteresting to her now. In the begining she was the reason we started dating, she asked me out and would initiate everything and tell me that I am hot and all of that good stuff. Now, after 2 years, she never initiates any kind of physical action except a hug or small kiss if im lucky. If I want any kind of physical interaction from her, I have to initiate it or else it just wont happen. In the beging things werent this way and we were actually accelerating our relationship at a healthy rate. (First type of physical contact besides kissing came after about 7 months of dating...she wanted me to finger her and eat her out) We got to where we would have sex when we could (Im a college student so its about dormroom availability) But she has gotten to where she just doesnt want anything...I did notice that when were were building a physical realationship, that she would avoid my penis at all costs it seemed to me. She wouldent even rub it or anything. Yet, she would put my hand on her vag while heavy make-outs. Also, she used to always want me to go down on her, but NEVER return the favor. This bothers me even worse because she used to go down on her ex all the time, and this was initiated by her! Now, I have to go down on her if I want any type of sexual interaction...I originally was really confident in my looks and hygiene because of many girls who all told me I was hot and smelled good and everything, but all of this has made me feel really gross and ugly or something. To have the girl that I actually care for reject me more than some chick in a store would. YEs, I do shave down there, and yes i take regular baths, brush my teeth etc...its just this constant rejection of anything to do with my penis and me feeling like a puppy begging for a treat whenever I want to even make out with her has really bummed me out. Also, knowing that she would give her ex bjs all the time make it even worse. I really do love her and we do all kinds of awesome things together. She is my best-friend and I am hers. im not always searching for physical attention from her, but It would be nice to have a girlfriend, not just a friend who just so happens to be a girl..Help?
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female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (13 June 2011):
 Ok, have you ASKED her while you are intimate,"Touch me" or gently taken her hand and SHOWED her how to touch you?
If you have and she says no, or shrinks back...
You are going to have to speak up and soon.
First, have this converstation when you are somewhere private,quiet and non-distraction. (Like a quiet park)
It sounds like you are asking for EQUALITY in the bedroom, not just BJ's. You are getting into a sexual rut and always taking the initiative gets OLD afterwhile.
Talk to her about how you miss the days of feeling wanted, desired, and loved seeing how she wanted to please you.
You take that time on her, because you really pleasing her, right? Tell her that.
Ask her HOW she feels about sex! What is and isnt ok. Just LISTEN. Then softly and sincerly ask, "Why do you not like touching me?" LISTEN. You might find out WHY.
Then let her know, her rejection and refusal to touch you, perform oral, makes you feel UGLY, GROSS,etc. It has made you think something is wrong with your hygiene, etc.
There is NOTHING wrong with wanting EQUAL affection.
Best Wishes.
A
female
reader, angelDlite  +, writes (13 June 2011):
 sounds like she has always been rather selfish sexually and now that she has been with you a while and the exciting horny period is over for her, she has no interest in giving you anything sexually coz she does not want anything from you. i hope you will speak to her about this? ask her what she expects/wants from you. do what you can to meet her halfway but if she cannot be bothered then what?? what happens next will depend on you - if you can or can't tolerate a sexless relationship with a woman who makes you feel unattractive. you are very young to just give up and accept this
x
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