A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I just broke up with my boyfriend of two years.After crying for a week....the crying has stopped. I however, feel numb.I know this is natural...but i feel so lost...and lonely...I ask my self...did i do the right thing? I don't know...but i was fighting with him on a daily basis...nothing was working out...till one day i broke down in office and had to take a sick day...I still love him...it pains me not to be with him . . .I am not used to being single...24 n single isn't bad; i know but...I am very busy...work takes up most of my time but i still can't get him out of my head...Am i a bad person...i hurt him so much by ending it. But i did not see a future...with all the fights...and drama...What should i do...just keeping busy isn't helping...i need to get my confidence back..HELP!!!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow...thanks a lot everyone.
I was just feeling so down and out till i read this, it brought a smile to my face; made me feel hopeful...
I was feeling damn lonely...he was calling up at night; begging me to take him back but now i feel i CAN stay away. I must. For my own sake, if not for his...
:) Thanks ...i'll try to be stronger.
A
female
reader, meccamega  +, writes (11 June 2011):
Hi I'm 24 and I'm single also. I try and ook at the positives. Now I'm not stuck in a bad relationship, I'm back to my old self. You can do what you want, when you want! And you don't have to ask permission to either. My friend at work literally does nothing without her boyfriend. I never want to be like that! The world is your oyster, so go for it!
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (11 June 2011):
 Give it time and it will go away.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): You'll get used to being single and in fact come to love it if you give yourself the chance.
There is nothing wrong with breaking up with someone. You haven't let the world down. A person doesn't have to be a violent alcoholic, prolific gambler or a serial killer for you to end a relationship with them. Wanting to be on your own is reason enough.
You'll be fine. You did the right thing. Your boyfriend will get over it. So will you.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (10 June 2011):
 You were with this person a long time. Two Years of your life was with this person.
First, it is going to take TIME to heal. This just happened right? You are grieving the loss of someone and what could have been.
Second, Congrats on making a wise, even if painful choice, to NOT continue a relationship that was not happy and you saw no future in. That is really HARD! Imagine how many people "tough it out" just because they do not want to feel like a failure in a failed relationship.
Third, Nothing is wrong with you. You are hurting.
It is against the nature of a caring person to see or bring hurt/harm to another person, even if you feel it is the BEST choice overall.
You will get your confidence over time, when you believe in yourself and embrace your independance for awhile. GO do things you did not get to do with the ex..or better yet, stuff you LOVE, but he hated! Go enjoy all the things that are "you" again. Go visit family or friends you have not seen in awhile. Learn a new talent.
Basically, go LOVE YOURSELF REALLY WELL!!
Mourn the loss, allow yourself to cry and vent...but then, you have to let the sunshine in and know that there are better days ahead!
Best Wishes.
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A
female
reader, Jen1689 +, writes (10 June 2011):
 You should feel MORE confident in the fact that you COULD end things with him knowing that things in your relationship weren't healthy. Most people hold on to something they know is dead because they are afraid of being alone, or they are afraid of what will happen to their lives once they are single. Be PROUD that you had more pride and respect for yourself than to let that happen.
Fighting on a daily basis is not a good thing. When there is more anger, tears, and resentment than love, respect, and happiness in a relationship, you know it has to end. There's just no point in trying to relight a soaking wet candle. The flame just won't return no matter how much you want it to.
When I was eighteen, I moved across the country to be with my long-distance boyfriend. We had been together for nine months at that point (and yes, we had met in person). Let me make it clear that I had NEVER been an independent person in my entire life. My parents coddled me and held my hand through everything. Once I was moved in with my ex, things went downhill. We constantly argued, gave each other the silent treatment, and it was basically like we were roommates. Outside of trying to make our relationship work, we had nothing in common. By this time, we had been together for a year and a half. Despite the fact that I was living with him, and despite the fact that I had no one, and I mean NO ONE, where I had moved to that I could rely on for support, I knew I had to end things. It was painful to live with him for a few months, as he would break down and cry in front of me quite regularly. I felt bad, but at the same time, I felt nothing. I knew I had done the right thing, and I knew that I would be stronger in the end. I never looked back...
Now, I've met an amazing man who I'm engaged to. We've been living together for nearly two years, and I'm the happiest I've ever been. You need to remember that you broke up with him for a reason, not just because you could. You need to remember that you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. We all are. You are not at all a bad person for ending things with a guy who you no longer got along with. You are not at all a bad person for wanting to make YOU happy, and not allowing someone else's happiness to come before your own. Just give it a few more weeks. You'll find the right person, but now the focus can be on you for a change. Make yourself the happiest you can, and the rest will follow. Good luck =)
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): you're not a bad person for wanting more from your relationship, we all deserve to be happy. i have just split from my wife after 12 years because i wasn't happy does this make me a bad person, i don't think so. the emotions you're feeling are perfectly natural doubts regrets fear ive had them all but after the initial bad time start thinking of yourself. go out with friends even if you don't feel like it, force yourself to because the more you just sit in the harder it will be to get out in the world again. your confidence will come back after a few good fun nights out with good friends.
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