A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:Hey all,i really need some advice, my partner of 4 and a half months left 2 days ago to stay with his father for 3 months to work.(were both 21 by the way) me and him are used to the distance as we live 85 miles apart as it is and go anything up to 6 weeks without seeing each other, but this time i am finding it so hard without him.... im an emotional wreck,. we usualy talk to each other on skype but the internet connection where he is is terrible, every time we try and call each other it just cuts off or takes him offline, and when i call him on the phone the reception is terrible. i dont know what to do. even when we talk on skype chat the internet just goes. he's tried to get it sorted and it just doesnt work. he has offered me to go and stay with him at some point but i have no annual leave and i cannot afford to take un-paid leave or i will leave myself without rent money. please i need some advice as to what i can do to get through these next few months. i cant go the whole three months with no contact from him, or just a text here and there.... please help. i know this question may sound pathetic but i need some help.thanks
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey i would just like to say thank you to all of you who took the time to answer my question. your advice has really put things in persepective and have started filling my calender with social dates in a hope it will make the time go quickly. thanks again guys :)
A
female
reader, Battista +, writes (11 June 2011):
Can your bf go to an internet cafe or library or something at an agreed time so you could have a chat and a catch up on skype?
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A
male
reader, zedd  +, writes (11 June 2011):
When I was in a situation like this in the past (sperated from a loved one for a while) I actually realized how lucky we are nowdays, since at least we have the telephone, e-mail, chat, skype, whatever (even if you can't use them sometimes).
Just imagine he went to war for years (!), without you knowing nothing about him. Now THAT'S tough! Just compare your problem to a case like that and I'm sure you're gonna feel better about it.
Thing is when I was separated from my gf for 3 months because of our jobs, I was really confused and I thought it would feel like eternity (we couldn't talk much either).
But then... I got myself busy, days passed, weeks passed, months passed... and there she was again. After you stop worrying about things, time goes really fast.
Just set up a goal to yourself, saying: until he returns, I will learn to do this and that (an instrument, a new skill), get into better shape etc. and just work on that goal.
And if you can, try to have an active social life. Good friends, parties and stuff like that always distract your attention from anything negative.
So, that's my experience about this topic, hope some of this helps.
Actually, a lot of people go through this at some point and they all survive it, so no worries, everything's gonna be alright.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (11 June 2011):
 I know it can be quite agonizing to be in a new relationship (ah the honeymoon phase!) then see your sweetheart have to leave for awhile.
In 1992, I was seperated from my love because he was serving in the military. We had never been apart more that two weeks since we met. There was no Skype or internet available for us then. Once in awhile we could call on a landline phone, but otherwise the first communication we had available were LOVE LETTERS.
Can you mail letters to each other? While it is not the same as a conversation, letters are a lovely way of keeping that connection and intimacy.
You do not sound pathetic, just really dependant on his company. Which may not be such a good thing.
Work on your own time, your own activities, etc. Do things that give you pleasure whether he is with your or not.
Understand that at this time, he needs to do this work and you might cause him undo stress if you let him see how upset you are. Sure, you can miss him! But, you will see that these are just a few necessary months...12 weeks will fly by before you know it!
Maybe use this time to get your drivers license:)
Best Wishes!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (10 June 2011):
 So ?... Take a bus, or a train, and meet halfway some weekend. Or, failing everything else... exchange letters. By regular mail. Old fashioned, but intimate , very romantic and makes lovely mementos:)
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): I see, can you buy a cheap coach? Sometimes the fares are discounted if booked in advance, or is there someone that can drive you that wants a bit of a weekend road trip?
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): I think driving on the weekend is a good idea even if you just get a few hours together.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questioni would like to thank you, but i'd also like to point out neither of us can drive, he got there by coach :(
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A
female
reader, justme..x +, writes (10 June 2011):
 Mmm, three months is a while; I appreciate it'll be difficult. The most obvious answer is that you keep busy. Obvious as it is, it will help. Take up a new hobby, or plunge into your current ones; go out with friends, focus on your work, whatever. Don't sit at home brooding, looking at photos of him and trying to make your skype work. Try and keep in touch - I know it's tricky because of what you said about the connection problems - but don't obsess over it. Balance being busy and being in touch. Don't constantly sit by the phone or reload your skype waiting for him to come on. Limit yourself, or you won't get on with anything. Perhaps you could write, old fashioned as it is? A hand written letter is nice and personal anyway, it might ease your missing him. Hope this helps :) xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): its not pathetic you love this guy. i presume you can drive if so can you meet half way on weekends,at least you will get a few hours together and will make the weeks pass quicker. sadly theres nothing you can do about the bad communications but if you both want it you'll find a way.
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