A
female
age
51-59,
*R_Scorpio
writes:When in a relationship, how important is a title (boyfriend, girlfriend, fiancee, etc) to you? Does it matter if you have a title or not? Do you think a title means committment? Very interested in hearing your thoughts...
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male
reader, idoneitagain  +, writes (10 June 2011):
Titles are important because they have meaning attached to them, significance. They might mean different things to different people, and have more or less significance, but they do have significance, and they do mean something to everyone. We change our responses to people who are "married", "in a relationship", "divorced", "single" or "widowed" because we all attach some kind of meaning to the lable, as do they.
Lables such as boyfriend, fiancee and husband/wife generally do imply committment and monogomy in most cultural settings, but its meaning can be defined by the individuals.
Whether it matters if you have a title or not depends on the individual.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): My ex started hating me for wanting a title this showed how little he wanted me to him i was not worth a title
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (9 June 2011):
 A title is only good in a relationship if BOTH people agree to the meaning behind it.Here my interpretations for my dating life:Friend-we hug, we spend time together. No kissing, no sex.Dating-we show lots of affection, but no sex. I am free to see other people and so is he.Girlfriend/Boyfriend-All of the above, plus sex in a monagamous relationship.I do not declare a title for myself. I let whoever Im dating lead on commitments. Otherwise, I am a free agent.I recently dated someone that thought I should ONLY see him, but did not feel I was gf material. He wanted to keep dating me. I told him I would see other people then, because I wanted a monagamous relationship and that is in Boyfriendville, not Datingville.His version of titles were that calling someone a gf meant you were engaged. I am not marriage minded and he knew that. But that was his value.We did not make a good mix because we could not see eye to eye on too many important things. He has moved to to "CasualFriendville".
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): It is important. My boyfriend wanted to make sure I knew I was his girlfriend because to him that meant we were exclusive. Now he wants me to marry him because he wants me to be his wife. Titles are very important.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): A title is very important and you should have one if you are sexually involved with the person. If the guy is unwilling to give you a title, it means he is keeping his options open and using you as a filler until someone else comes along.
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A
female
reader, bittersweetmemory  +, writes (9 June 2011):
 well i do see it as a sign of commitment...it always been that way for me..when i officially been together with a guy we started using gf and bf..not before..
i don't find it as important as having to say it all the time..i just know where i stand with him and that's what matters :)
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A
male
reader, zedd +, writes (9 June 2011):
I think it is important. The "title" signifies the relationship, you can then tell what you can expect from your partner and what your partner can expect from you.To tell you some examples: I've heard lots of stories where two people were bhevaing as if they were a couple, then the other one slept with someone else or just left, telling "I've never said I am your girfriend/boyfriend" etc. I've also experienced this myself: I was together with a girl who told me the same thing, she said she thought we were just having fun and stuff when I thought we are in a relationship.Same applies to the "fiancee" question: even if they are in a relationship, one of them might just think about it as a shorter-term stuff or may not be ready for such a commitment, while his/her partner is making plans for the future.So I think yes, it is pretty important to know what your role is in each other's lives because otherwise one can get seriously hurt after getting to know that it was just a "fun time" for the other one.
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (9 June 2011):
 Yes, a title is commitment, as it means that whoever gives you that title (or agrees to let you be called that) is willing to acknowledge publicly what you mean to them.
So if my lover starts saying I am his girlfriend, that means I am his, for now.
If he ups that to partner, then I am solidly his other half.
If I become fiancee, I am his choice.
I guess the top of the rung is wife, in terms of the relative respect the relationship then receives from others.
How important is it to me, to be acknowledged for the important role I play in someone's life? It is fundamental, for me.
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