A
female
age
26-29,
*edlipzxx
writes:yesterday , i asked this girl out, im a girl too and im lesbian shes bi or something, i asked her in private and she was like maybe, no then now its maybe. im not openly gay yet and only my frends know.but today everyone found out,because the girl i asked out said to people because she is open so now quite a few people know and its friday today and i know when i go back to school everyones going to know that im a lesbian. im really scared and upset about going back because we have some girls in my year who are horrible and i know everyones going to come up to me and ask stuff to me . and im scared of going back after the weekened . help please. as im typing this ive just got back from school where its all happened , im 14 as well. and know 100 percent im a lesbian felt like this for 4 years or so, im girly and sos she .. pls help xx
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female
reader, hojo1114 +, writes (19 June 2011):
hey i totally understand what your talking about im a lesbian and im 14 but only 4 of my friends know and i to am scared to tell everyone because of what people will say so i understand but if you are a confident person then just admit your gay and ignore what people say.and if this girl you like as a friend she will stick up for you and help you if any idiots at your school want to make comments.
i hope all goes well and that. that maybe turns into a yes xx
A
female
reader, TasteofIndia  +, writes (11 June 2011):
 Hey sweet,
Welcome to high school - gossip is rampant and people love to talk. The best thing you can do, as everyone else said, is face this as the strongest YOU you can be. You may secretly be a role model for someone else and not even know it. So stand up for yourself and for people who are silently watching you. You won't be the first to face a cruel crowd, and by being resilient, you may set a good example and show others who may face these same mean people that it's okay to be yourself and to show strength in the face of adversity.
Being a lesbian is 100% okay. As long as you are okay with yourself and at peace with who you are, you will be able to get through these little bumps in the road and unsavory people who get their kicks from being small-minded, ignorant and just plain rude.
My name is Michael and I'm a girl. People have the nastiest things to say to me! It's so bizarre that people have such an opinion on something that is so inherent for me, but some folks do not have any tact or shame when making really hurtful comments. But you know what? I freakin' love my name and those people who are insensitive and say super rude things? They don't bother me at all. I don't need their negativity. I let it roll off my back and I move on with my life and things that make me happy. I'm not comparing a name to homophobia, but still - the takeaway message is that you need to be completely comfortable with yourself and ready to face stupid comments with sweetness and reality. You are who you are. That is reality. They can deal with it, or they can go fly a kite (that's the nice way of saying they can stick it up their butts).
Don't let this get to you. You are who you are and there are plenty of great people who think you are awesome just the way you are. So if they get nasty, whatever. Fill your life and self-image with the people and love who will really matter in the long run. Best of luck, sweet!
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A
female
reader, redlipzxx +, writes (11 June 2011):
redlipzxx is verified as being by the original poster of the question rite im now goin out with the girland the peeps shes told promised to not tell anyone x so hopefully it all works out thankou xx guys xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): Hi Dear, I think the best way to deal with your feelings is to find a good councellor that you feel is the right one. Then all of these feelings aren't quite so overwheling for you and there will be nothing to be frightened of :)
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A
female
reader, AuntyAlexxmo +, writes (10 June 2011):
 I agree the best way to face it is head on, be strong and proud, if people ask you say yes and just move on, remember your not there to answer every question people ask and dont be ashamed of being you.
About your mum, well you only need to tell her what you want, so if you dont want to there is no reason to tell her you asked a girl out.
Also i think you need to talk to this girl that you asked out, you need to tell her that you dont appreciate her telling everyone your buisness and maybe also ask her a bit of advice about how she deals with people knowing about her sexuality.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): thankyou my mum knows ima lesbian but i get embarased and dont wanna tell her tht i asked a girl out as i just told her bout month go tht ii was a lesbian x thanks for the advice
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (10 June 2011):
 You are your own person and no-one can change this. You will need to seek support at school, there are numerous policies and procedures in places to tackle bullying issues and to help pupils like you face things like this!
You need to speak to a teacher you trust, because kids can be so mean nowadays...just remember that you don't have to suffer in silence!! If they call you names or are in any way shape or form physical towards you (pushing, pinching, tripping etc) then this is totally unacceptable behaviour and you will need to make sure it stops!
I applaude you for seeking help from us, this must be very difficult as this is a crucial stage in your life. Whatever happens, don't let this affect your school work, you will be taking your GCSE's in a couple of years and you will need to focus on your studies.
Do your parents know about this? If not i think you should tell them. Your parents and school can work together to ensure that you are in a safe and happy environment both in school and at home. Please seek some support from those around you!!!
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (10 June 2011):
 You can only reacted to stuff that actually happens, not things you think MIGHT happen.
Did this other girl know that you are not open yet?
Did you make that clear to her?
If she broke that trust, then you know this is not someone to BE trusted in the future.
I know you would have wanted to come out on your OWN terms, but now that people MIGHT know. So, what is the worst that can happen other than people knowing the truth?
If they ask you, (For example, I heard you are gay. Is that true?)
You can always ask them a question.."Why do you ask?"
Get them to THINK about why they are asking.
Whatever the answer is does not matter. Keep your next response confident AND truthful AND simple.
Options are: "I dont see how that concerns you."
"Its personal"
"Its really none of your business"
Or, you can simply be truthful and come out.
"Yes, I am, thanks for asking"
Be proud of who you are.
Girls are going to be mean and nasty whereever you go, for whatever reason..some of them grow up to be nasty women as well!
You know what stops their nasty behavior? Confidence that shows them that YOU determine your worth, not them. Show them that what they think of you and what they say does not matter.
Stick to friends that support you no matter what.
If you DO get harrassed because of this news, DO go to your school counselors and let them know what is going on.
Best Wishes:)
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A
male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (10 June 2011):
 Well i'm sorry for this because this girl has behaved in a bad way and has betrayed your trust and confidence. Having said that, this leaves you in a bad situation. At least your friends know so it wont be a shock to them and cause any issues there - they will be there for you and you have to remember that.
Otherwise, don't take any c**p basically. Your sexuality is part of who you are and I am sure who you are is a wonderful thing so go in, face these people with your head held high. Let them question you, answer them if you want, dont if you dont. Ride the storm a little and if it gets really bad dont be afraid to talk to your teachers - that is what they are there for, to make sure you can learn in a safe environment.
I can only imagine it must be really scary but try not to crumble, try and be strong and I think you will surprise yourself and survive it. It will be a frenzy for a bit but will soon die down and be yesterdays news. Good luck and take care :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): Ok try not to fret you have done nothing wrong and have nothing to feel ashamed or worried about. This girl is a nasty piece of work and is on a power trip, she knows she has something over you now and if i were you i wouldnt give her the satisfaction of telling people, thats your job so stand proud and tell your closest friends and if the matter is brought up in school say yes i am a lesbian and be proud and confident in saying it. Don't listen to the bitchy girls trust me they will only keep at you if you show them that its upsetting you, if they feel that they cant get to you then they will tire of the topic and start on somebody else. You really need to stand your ground with this girl dont let her upset you. good luck :)
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