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age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: me and my girlfriend have been together for almost 2 years. for her its her first relationship, for me its my second. both of us are in deep love and soon going to get married. in my past relationship ,i never had sex but did kiss my ex-gf and see her naked. my present gf is still a virgin but we had foreplay and oral sex a lot many times. she gets very offended by the fact that i was physical with my ex-gf and raises the question time and again. though i have managed to convince her quite a few times, she gets pacified for a short time and then gets back to it. now it real bothers me and i have devised a plani have tod her to kiss a random guy, ofcourse wit my knowledge and get completely naked in front of him and let him touch her. she is not comfortable with this idea but i guess this is the only way to pacify her.should i allow her do this. i m searching a guy to do this. does neone share a similar experience.. plzz help
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foreplay, my ex, oral sex, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes...i did read...but there are too many and its confusing...will now read what you have told me to...thanks again
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (14 June 2011):
 You should not ask him. Read Yos's answers for more insight on RJ. Did you read my linked post?
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey guys,thanks for your responses..i definately get your point.and seeing her with another man wont certainly please me.but i thought of doing it because i just wanted to show her that it wont bother me till the time she has the feelings just for me.i even told her that it would be okay if she would not have been a virgin when i met her but she says."you wont mind now coz i m a virgin,if i wasnt things would have been different"...this has led to formation of guilt in me and i started feeling that once for all let her do the things i did with my ex and so she doesnt have any reason to complain.In my searches have found a guy whose ready to do things i would tell him to with no strings attached..should i or not
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (13 June 2011):
Your girlfriend is suffering from retroactive (or retrograde) jealousy. I started a thread on it which may help you. http://www.dearcupid.org/question/retrograde-jealousy.html
Most women who are in love with a man are not going to be happy with kissing some random guy and certainly not getting naked and being groped. That sounds more like sexual harassment and is certainly NOT going to solve her fundamental issue, which is that she is obsessively thinking about you being with another woman in the past.
If this is some sexual fantasy of YOURS, well, keep it as a fantasy and do not push her do anything she doesn't wish to do. She may perceive this 'plan' as yet another piece of evidence that you don't care for her.
In other words, it's a lousy plan and will not fix anything. It will create new problems.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (13 June 2011):
 I am suprised your gf is not rather offended by your suggestion, but is bothered by the fact YOU had a "somewhat" sexual experience with a previous girl.
My suggestion is that NO, your gf should not be engaging with another man. It might open up MORE negative emotions.
Why create MORE problems?
She needs to understand..
1-You experimented as a young man. This is COMMON AND NORMAL in most cultures! It is even encouraged in most cultures for men to LOSE their virginity before marriage, while expected for the woman to be a virgin on her wedding night.
2-You were honest with your gf/fiancee about your sexual experience.
3-It is in the PAST. You can not UNDO it.
4-You chose your gf/fiance to be your WIFE and your sexual mate. It is time to look forward to your life together, not back.
5-She needs to address HER feelings about it. Is this jealousy? Most women do not like the idea that her man was with another woman. You are NOT WITH THAT WOMAN, so she needs to let that feeling go.
Does she feel she can not TRUST you in the future to be faitful to her in all ways? Ask her.
If she can not understand that your past is gone and faded, then perhaps she is not the woman for you. Inviting someone else into your relationship,even temporarily, does not fix the bond between you.
I would be concerned that IF you marry this woman, she will punish you in ways for her hard feelings about your past.
And I am concerned that YOU might be upset later thinking about how you allowed another man to become intimate with her, even if sex was not involved...it is a loss of innocence.
If you want to get closer, do not put things between you to widen the gap.
Best Wishes.
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