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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: I Have been going out with my GF for a few yearsShe is ControllingPossessiveParanoidMoodyChildishDoesnt let me see my friendsChecks my phoneChecks my emailsChecks my facebookThe reason she does all this is because I have lied about going to see my friends. Told her I was late back from workJust normal lies that you would do if someone stopped you from seeing your friends...She is my first I want to know this...when a girl loves a boy with all her heart. Does it make them act this way?Do some girls think acting this way will mean that the boyfriend wont cheat on them.I think it does the opposite. Does a relationship last long if a girl does this.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): you gave her reason to doubt you, what do you expect?
you cant be in a relationship with someone & not be honest the full time. maybe she needs just reassuring. rather than everyone telling you to steer clear of her, maybe she is just insecure or upset with something.
either man up & make sure she's okay, tell her everything is okay & that you want to be with her & you want her, it might take time but she probably needs that.. or do one, because just as much as it's not fair on you to have a nagging girlfriend, it's not fair on her to put her through it.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): From experience, I did this with my ex because he lied a lot, and made me feel as if every girl was a threat, or else I could lose him. I loved him very much, which is another reason why I did it. Since, he made me feel that way I only thought it was human to look for something by going through him phone etc..because I would never know the truth since he wouldnt tell me. It didnt help that my ex was a ladies mann in everyway, so that could be another reason why shes protective over you. If shes had past relationships when the guy had broken up with her, then she may just be trying not to let anyone come in between you too. In my situation, it didnt turn out very well, because he ended breaking up with me for my bestfriendd. Maybe you should talk to your girlfriend, and let her know that by her doing all this, is just pushing you farther away and then she'll learn to hopefully trust you and not take you for granted. Being kindly honest is the best thing you should do, so take my word for it, and let her know that she could lose you if she continues doing what shes doing. You could also bring up the point that having a social life in a relationship is healthy. also, girls do this because they dont want to lose their boyfriend, so you should comfort her and not let her have any insecurities about you lieing anymore, but you must mean it. Your relationship can last a long time, but only if you follow your heart and openly talk to her, and be honest just like you did on here.I hope this helps! good luck :)
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 June 2011):
 Well, the relationship has lasted for a few years maybe, so yes, this kind of relationships can last.
But, frankly, if she is that bad, what are you doing with her?
If you were doing all that to her, she would probably get the advice that she should dump you.
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A
female
reader, belize  +, writes (9 June 2011):
 Yes, run.... She will do your head in with paranoid behaviour and attitude, don't settle for second best...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011):
"The reason she does all this is because I have lied about going to see my friends. Told her I was late back from work
Just normal lies that you would do if someone stopped you from seeing your friends..."
You are feeding her insecurities. Stop lying! She obviously has issues, but you are not helping things. Tell her the truth and let her decide from there.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (9 June 2011):
 Since you are following all her "rules" you are in essence accepting them. So either you sit her down and "negotiate" new rules or you let her go and find someone you are more... compatible with.
This is NOT common girl behavior.
Does she not have a social life herself? No job, no friends?
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A
female
reader, natasia +, writes (9 June 2011):
 She is:
immature.
And she is also a girl.
And that is why she behaves how she does. Oh, and she is also just this kind of person.
So, no, it isn't healthy and good to be like this, and it isn't fun for you (or her, really), and usually if someone behaves like this, the relationship goes on for a while, in a broken kind of way, but then usually someone jumps out of it.
Having said that, to be fair, some of these things are just signs mostly of insecurity about herself, and the moody thing she can't help, because that is being a female (trust me: ALL of us are like that).
So, you could try the tack of total openness, and telling her how much you love her all the time. See if she improves. Tell her you love her checking everything, because it means she cares. Tell her you'd be upset if she didn't bother to check. And then tell her again how much you love her.
That is the kind of talk that makes a girl feel better about herself, and reassured. And a happy, secure-feeling, loved girl who knows it, is far less likely to be difficult.
You gotta sweet-talk her ... saying the right things works with girls ... they then roll over like kittens, and hide their claws. Try it.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (9 June 2011):
 Dude, you're basically giving up your social life for her, if you really love her, tell her that she HAS to change or you're outta there.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): If she is like most girls, she won't be too different around here boyfriend. She is just not the ideal girlfriend and that can't be changed. Just let her down slowly if you have to or talk to her about how she acts
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (9 June 2011):
 She is paranoid and insecure. I seriously doubt it will get any better. It is more likely it will get WORSE.
Time to call her on her nonsense and let her know how much it bothers you and it has to stop.
If she can not stop-you can stop seeing her.
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A
male
reader, mrg123 +, writes (9 June 2011):
 I've been in a relationship exactly like this but ive also been in ones not like it so is it normal, the answer has to be no. Does it mean she doesnt love you? Not necessarily, no, she can still love you and be this way. However, it does mean she doesn't trust you deep down no matter what she may say and although you did lie, you were kind of pushed into that lie by her behaviour. Obviously is the issue is with her and her lack of trust which will have a rational reason somewhere in her past. However, your exactly right it will push you away eventually if you both dont actually sit down and address this. You need to get to the root cause of what it is in her past that has caused her to be this way and even if you do that she may need counselling to come to terms with it and to be able to let you in fully. Having said all that the first battle is getting her to admit there is something wrong with her behaviour and this is where you have to be quite firm, sit her down and talk to her, dont be aggressive but be firm. Its important you dont view this as normal and therefore do nothing to address this because it isnt. You really need to get a handle on it or else it will eat away at the relationship and eventually end it. Good luck :)
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (9 June 2011):
This isn't normal. This is a sign for you to run.
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