A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Hi guys! I've been dating this guy for about a year now and I feel like I'm always the one to initate doing things, not that I'm crazy for it, I just feel sex brings us closer and fixes any problems in our relationship and I love him. We'll talk about doing it and he says/makes it seem like he wants to, but yet again, I usually bring the topic up; but if I stand back and see if he comes to me, nothing happens! How do you know what a guys actually feeling when they say one thing, then do another? He's never been with anyone but me, but I have been with one another guy that he hates do to how he broke my heart, could that have something to do with it? Its not that he's not attractive to me because he says I am all that time. How do I know if he actually wants to do anything, or what he's actually feeling? Advice would be great! Thanks :) Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you guys :) this was great advice! I still dont know how im gonna go about letting him know that walking all over me is not allowed and he deffinitely cant get something just because I offer it. But this helped, thank you (:
A
female
reader, OldiesGyrl +, writes (9 June 2011):
Oh and excuse my age range; I made a mistake when I registered. I'm actually 25-35.
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A
female
reader, OldiesGyrl +, writes (9 June 2011):
First of all, I just want to mention to you that using sex to draw him closer to you and in place of communication isn't a smart thing to do. And second, actions speak louder than words. Anyone can tell you anything, but it isn't validated unless they actually show you.He claims to hate the other guy for having broken your heart, but HE doesn't seem to be stepping up to treat you any better either. Again, actions speak louder than words. If you continue to accept his treatment of you, he's going to think it's acceptable and continue until he's done with you and ready to move on to someone else. That's if he already isn't juggling you and another female, or even a few other females, at the same time. You're very young, and you have plenty of time to slow down and meet someone who is going to value you for you. I'm unsure if you're up for being patient, but when you DO meet the right guy, you're going to forget all about this current guy. Hey, maybe two years from now you won't even remember his name nor will you care.Trust me, I've been there and I know what you're going through. But if you take a stand, it can be a learning experience for you, and you'll know to set boundaries with the next guy.
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 June 2011): My girl initiates things all the time because I actually dont love her and want a new girlfriend. No one in particular. Just someone without her possessiveness and controllingness.
So i say I love her. I dont initiate sex. I dont really talk to her. im just to cowardly to end it.
Because her brother is violent and protective and I fear for my life. So I think that you should consider that there is something you do that he doesnt like and is stopping him from getting close
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A
female
reader, zebralove  +, writes (9 June 2011):
 When someone says one thing but does the contrary that means there lying. Someones we choose to make excusses for the one we care for because we don't want to beleive that he/she doesn't care or love us. I don't know how your relationship is BUT don't let him walk all over you by telling you what you want to heare.
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A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (9 June 2011):
 Men in general are not alway expressive with their feelings and words.
As CaringGuy mentioned, focus on their actions.
What a man CONSISTENTLY does is so much better than any words he could tell me.
Best Wishes.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (9 June 2011):
Focus on what a man DOES, not what he SAYS. If he says one thing and does another, usually there's a big lie in it somewhere.
From what you've written here, I'd suggest to you that all this guy wants is sex when you offer it. I don't see anything else there at all. I think if you continue with him, you'll soon find that you'll feel empty and used. I think he just takes what he can get when you offer it.
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