A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:i believe i have two issues that combine to ruin my life and my relationship. a relationship with someone that needs me more than I have ever been needed - she is so sweet and so beautiful - she has no one else to turn to or to be loved by but her past as a prostitue is killing me and the fact that I only have a 5-6inc dick adds to the probem.I have dishonerably continued to grill her for information throughout our time together which has been met with many different versions of the same fact (lies) - and only last night did I think I finally found a break thru to to be told someting about some of her ex-partners that was different to last time around and this included telling me that her best 5 sexual encounters ended in orgasm and that one was smaller than me, 3 were the same as me and one larger - previously she had said I was bigger than all of them.All seems highly stupid for a man of my age right? It is but if one can lie about things like this then how can I believe her when she says she loves me?retroactive jealousy plus small penis paranoia are killing me.\\thoughts?
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a break, her ex, her past, jealous, orgasm Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (12 November 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthks All that helps - my ex wife humiliated me once in front of all of our friends by saying 'i hate you, you are crap in bed and you have a small cock".
We can all see that it was said in anger but it has left me scared.
As for the RJ stuff - I read the post you mnetion previously - I never heard of this before but by the way I have been feeling made a self dignosis - hmm not always wise.
i am going to take your advice and see whats what.
thks all
A
female
reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 Is this your original question? http://www.dearcupid.org/question/girlfriend-was-a-prostitute-and-slept-with-over.html
Honestly, do you think that a former prostitute is a suitable match for a man with retrograde jealousy? I mean, fundamentally, the knowledge of her past and your RJ is going to torture you for the life of the relationship.
My suggestion is that you attempt to get some professional help for your RJ. There are some theories that it is a form of OCD and perhaps getting treatment for that would assist you in working through this.
I started a thread on RJ here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/retrograde-jealousy.html The Aunt "Yos" has written extensively on this topic and I think reading his past submissions would be a good idea for you: http://www.dearcupid.org/people/yos
I'm just wondering if there's some dynamic in you that is setting you up for romantic and sexual misery.
Your penis is average. Your penis is fine. It's how you think your penis affects her that you have wrong.
Good luck as you tackle this extraordinary choice of lovemates you've made.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Hey there, I want to reply to you because I think you need to look at this in a different way. Personally, I would much rather fall in love with a prostitute than some cheap slut who gave herself away for nothing. Now, there's a difference between a call girl and a prostitute. Was your g/f a street hooker or did she do it for men who paid her well. There's a huge dichotomy here. A street prostitute doesn't want to service a bunch of strangers for pleasure or selfish reasons. She had a financial need most likely in a desperate situation. so, you have to look at the situation. A street prostitute has a lot left to share with you in life. My wife was a cheap piece of ass for any guy that gave her attention. I have trouble with that since she doesn't always fullfil my needs in bed. She had nothing left to share with me by the time I came into her life, and I'm feeling that pain today as she is content with the love I give her. I missed out! You can use her past as a turn on and know she really was unloved and go from there. I think it's ok. Don't beat her up for it. Enjoy her.
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A
male
reader, the_phoenic +, writes (11 November 2010):
you creating what you fear my friend
while there is realy nothing to worry about,
and from what you have said
it is abvious that te girl cares for you
and she is happy wiht you in bed
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): Has anyone made any hurtful comment tou you in the past? You are beating yourself up for nothing.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 If you're worried about your size, her past as a prostitute should actually be a help. Think about it -- her encounters with clients were 100% about their dicks. She'll have see it all -- big, small, hung, micro -- and 95%+ of them will have done *nothing* for her. The emotional support you're providing her (when you're not stressing about this stuff) probably makes her wet on its own. The idea of you going to bed and it being more than just about your pleasure? That must be gold for her.
As for the lying, that's got to be part of the tool kit from her past profession, don't you think?
Forgive me for agreeing you, but yes, this is stupid for a man your age in what otherwise sounds like a great relationship. You're in a position where attention and understanding are likely to be appreciated more than usual. Frankly you're working hard to screw it up. Stop!
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 Hi well first off her past should be in her past and its ok to tell small white lies to partners, its to protect there feelings especially when it comes to ex partners.
She told you that you were bigger because she didnt want to offend you or hurt your feelings this does not mean just because she lied that she doesnt love you, cant you see that she lied about this to protect you from getting hurt or else getting paranoid, she probably knows that you have issues with your size and that is why she is sparing you the grief.
You need to stop asking her about her past, let it stay were it belongs in the past and look to the future and realise that you are the only man in her life now so just enjoy the relationship and stop trying to bring up things that shouldnt matter.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2010): You say you are "only" 5 or 6 inches, that is average and most women prefer average to huge. If you keep asking her about these other guys all the time it really shows you're very insecure and that's not going to be attractive to your girlfriend.
I've seen so many guys post questions about the size of their anatomy i never really it was SUCH an issue before. It honestly doesn't matter how big you are it's how you use it, trust me. A guy could be hung like a horse and completely suck in bed!
If your girlfriend enjoys being in bed with you there really is no problem unless you make it into one.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (11 November 2010):
 you've pretty well summed up the anx of most men my friend!
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A
female
reader, MonksDaBomb +, writes (11 November 2010):
 I think she does love you. And I also think the reason she said that is because all women know that a man's penis is his "holy grail" - and she didn't want to hurt your feelings, so she said you were the biggest she had encountered.
Don't grill her for information - you have to learn to trust her and eventually she'll just tell you the information you're wanting to know. but the way you're going about it now, I'm almost certain it makes her feel like she's on a witness stand than your partner. How long have you two known each other?
Oh and by the way - your penis size is perfectly normal! 5 1/2 inches is the median size. So enjoy! :)
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