A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:"Money Matters " Im a single parent with 2 kids. Living pay check to pay check. What can i do? I have been in this relationship for 5yrs. He lives in his own place with his kids and ive got my own place with my kids. When my man takes me out we always pay 50/50 meaning either he would pay for the dinner and i would pay for the gas. Lately most of the time he has been paying for everything. Then we had a talk about why i dont pitch in. i dont mind pitching in time to time its just im having a hard time to make ends meet with my right now with my fixed income. He makes way more then me. The thing is when i do offer to pay for dinner or lunch or breafast, i pull my money out to give to the lady at the register then here he comes pulling out his wallet telling me . "dont worry, i got this, you save your money for next time." so then i end up putting my money back in my purse. Next time we go out i offer to pay for gas, he tells me dont worry he already paid for it. Then when we go out to eat again i offer to pay. Put my money on the counter to pay the lady at the register, then here he comes and does the same thing! i think its an Ego thing with him. he always wants to look like the Ladies Man. Being a nice polite Gentleman offering to pay for everything. i cant win even if i try. Then he asks me whats wrong, why i dont contribute anything (like pay with my money) i have tried but it seems i always get knocked down. Please help me. What should i do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2014): Thank you honeypie for your advice. i do, agree with you. i think he does want to LOOK like the "Perfect Gentleman" in the eyes others. thank you for your thoughts and input on this question.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 April 2014): Thank you for all your advice.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (15 April 2014):
 You shold avoid this guy, he thinks more of himself than of you. I know in some cultures this sort of thing(me man you-not!) is acceptable. In this culture not so much.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (15 April 2014):
 If you can't afford going out to eat, I'd would suggest other kinds of dates that are "cheaper".
And I would NOT put my money away every time he tells you to. Specially not if he later whines that you rarely pay.
I can't see how you can "win" anything in that issue. I find it kind of petty and off-putting that he acts that way.
I think he WANTS others to think he is a total gentleman who pays for his lady, but he DOESN'T WANT to always pay. He just want it to LOOK that way.
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