A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Okay, so my boyfriend won't stop trying to have sex, we can never stay in a just watch a dvd, he always trys it on, and I tell him no but he will carry on until he gets it, should I say something?Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2014): Yes, you should say something. Your boyfriend doesn't take what you say seriously and, overall, it doesn't seem like he has much respect for you. You need to put your foot down or tell him to take a hike.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (6 May 2014):
 IF you say NO and he persists you keep saying NO and then he forces you and it's rape pure and simple... CONSENT is required for it to NOT be rape.
IF you don't consent it's rape. Date rape but still RAPE.
tell him NO
the next time he asks (if you even let him in the house) say "no it's time for you to leave" and then go to another room...
You must make it clear to him that YOU are not at his sexual beck and call. AND if he does not get it, then you can spend NO time at home alone with him...
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 May 2014):
 So he can't come over any more. OR you have to WOMAN up and tell him to leave if he can't respect you. YOU need to grow a spine or HE and every OTHER man in your life will WALK all over you.
IF you seriously still want to date this guy, Go OUT in public on dates.
Personally, I'd break up with him and take some time to LEARN how to be more assertive.
IT IS NOT OK.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (6 May 2014):
This is not a healthy relationship. If your boyfriend loves and respects you he would listen to NO. You also need to be more accretive. It sounds like he doesn't care about you as a person but more as a sex toy.
Respect yourself and tell him no! and stick with it!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI told him that were not having sex until I know he means what he says but he didn't reply and changed conversation
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (6 May 2014):
 Don't invite him into your house anymore. He doesn't just get to walk in after you do. That's a form of control if he manipulates the environment.
You said that you've said that before, yet he dismisses it? That's a form of control. Sexual slavery. You don't ASK him not to have sex anymore. He doesn't get right of permission over your body. TELL him you're not having sex anymore. Then tell him that you're done with him.
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A
female
reader, fi_the_tree +, writes (6 May 2014):
 You tell him to pack it in, or you'll leave him. Simple. No means no...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey guys, I've asked him if we could stop having sex for a while, but I don't think he believes me, I've said it before but you always gets his own way I can't walk out because its always in my house, I don't really know what to do
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 May 2014):
You need to tell him.
No means no, EVEN for women who are in a relationship. YOU are not "sex on the tap" for him. If you JUST want to watch a movie then make SURE you tell him and if he starts to "put the moves" on you you tell him, no I came to hang out and watch a movie. If he CAN NOT respect that.. YOU need to respect YOURSELF enough to LEAVE. MAYBE you ave to do that a couple of times for him to "grasp" that you do NOT have to have sex with him whenever HE wants to.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (5 May 2014):
 Yeah, tell him to go take a cold shower. Nothing worse than going to someone's house and their littl dog starts humping your leg but finally you got to either kick the dog in the sensitive area or just get up and leave. I'd recomend the later. He has a problem and needs to be taught how to act.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (5 May 2014):
Yes you should! Sex isn't about pressure, nor is a relationship only about sex. You should talk to him, and not just after you've rejected his advances. Talk to him and tell him how you feel, that you're not happy with sex being the only focus of your relationship, and that you are starting to avoid staying in because it always is about sex.
If he doesn't get it, start refusing to stay in. Just go out with him in public and then go to your own homes. There can be too much of a good thing when a relationship is only about sex, and everything leads to it. Sex is important to a relationship, but so is emotional bonding. It can always get smothery if it gets so bad that you can't just hug or kiss without getting groped or whatever.
You'll have to talk to him. There is no way around it.
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A
male
reader, wise-guy +, writes (5 May 2014):
Yes say something - just because you're his girlfriend doesn't mean he can have sex on tap because HE feels like it - the feeling has to be a mutual one.
You don't need to come on too seriously but just firmly state your case and leave it there - no need to argue etc just explain how you feel about it and don't just give in to shut him up - I suppose it's nice that he finds you so sexually attractive but there is more to love than sex :)
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