A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've been chatting to a 45 year old guy online who was keen to meet new friends and go dating. I was going to meet him at the weekend and we've been chatting for a week. He works from home and is also renovating his place. He boils up batches of lamb and eats curry most nights for the last six months. He doesn't eat out or go on holiday but earns good money and has never been married or had children. He has only lived with one woman many years ago. I don't know why but I'm worried he might be odd and I'm not sure I want to meet him. My ex was odd and he did the big batches of food thing and never ate out or went on holidays and was also careful with money. Im just not sure : (
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 May 2014):
 I don't think he's doing anything weird. There are tons of people who have no time or desire to cook every single day, they just get it over and done once a week, they cook big batches of something , freeze it , and consume it as needed.
As for his spending habits, he's frugal, but that 's not so strange too, it's a matter of choices and what gives you more pleasure. Some people will prefer spoiling themselves a bit by allowing themselves eating out, taking holidays , doing recreational shopping ( and having not much to put away , or nothing, at the end of the month ), whle others prefer to just spend for what's strictly necessary ( food, utilities ) and save as much as they can.
While I belong to the first group, I can see the merits of living like the second, so I would not call it " weird ".
The problem here is not the weirdness of his choices, the problem is that you don't like them, share them or understand them. You want someone more social, more " fun " , more casual / relaxed about money. So he seems not the guy for you . But not because he must be odd per se. Because if you are someone who enjoys eating out often, and living it up a bit, then you need a guy who enjoys the same. .
A
female
reader, cattycakes +, writes (2 May 2014):
If he I'd doing up his place it would explain the catering arrangement. Something about your description makes it sound odd, rather than it probably being the case. Curry is always best when it has been done this way. however, no holidays? No meals out? is that because of having nobody to go with or because he won't spend the money, disguised as not enjoying holidays? A couple of things to find out if you want to. You have only been talking a short while. What do you have in common, you didn't say? Apart from both being single that is! He may have quirks but so do we all.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (2 May 2014):
 My father in law became a single father of 6 BOYS overnight when his wife ran of with another man. HE could barely boil water and all of a sudden had to make sure these 6 kids (ages 1-10) were fed and taken care of.
He learned how to cook from various family members and would cook BIG batches of things that was easy (like chili, various soups, beans & rice and so forth ) He STILL cooks them in big batches, freezes half, eats the other half over a week. It's habit for him (instead of cutting the recipe in half or 1/4).
He might not be a great cook and like MANY guys his generation and older, isn't interested in learning a whole lot of new recipes.
What are you doing for you date? Are you ( I hope) going out in public and spending time? Or are you ( I hope not) going to either yours or his house?
If he has mainly been on his own, I don't find it totally odd that he doesn't go out to eat, that he is frugal. Some people are not interested in travelling, some are.
I'd met up (but in a public place) for lunch or dinner and see what you really think about him.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2014): You're already worried so just pass on this one. As oldbag said it could BE your x for all you know! But I assume you have exchanged photos at least. Always trust your instinct.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (2 May 2014):
 Hi there, if you decide not to meet him what have you lost? NOTHING! you have never actually met his guy so there is no emotional attachment as such as you don't even know him, only what he has said on line. You have chatted to someone for a week and now have doubts so simply find someone else to chat to. Your under no obligation to meet him even if you have said otherwise.
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (2 May 2014):
 If your Ex did the same as this online guy, then don't persue it, it could even be him...this 'type' is definitely not for you is he?
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 May 2014):
 Never invest emotion,time or money to an on-line flirt! It will always blow up in your face!
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