A
female
age
22-25,
anonymous
writes:A lot of my friends are wanting me to give my boyfriend a blowjob, and he agreed to wanting me too when i asked. But i feel like we are kind of young for this to be happening. My friends said it was okay because we have been dating for 6 months, but im still not sure. And if i did do it how would i go in to it?
View related questions:
blow-job Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2014): If your friends are making such a decision for you, than trust me, you are too young to be doing it....
A
female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (3 May 2014):
 No. Just no.
And tell your friends to stay out of it.
Your boyfriend wanting one is a separate issue, that's between you and him and whether you want to...and since you evidently think it's too early (on which you are absolutely right), don't do it.
...............................
A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (2 May 2014):
 No.
What goes on between you and your boyfriend is strictly private (except a discussion with your parents about this might be a good idea).
Do you really want to do something you're not ready for, and which will be the talk of the school within 5 minutes?
Tell your friends to back off and concentrate on their own lives.
...............................
A
male
reader, Mark1978 +, writes (2 May 2014):
 So imaging if you do give your boyfriend a blow job - Then what happens? You tell your friends who then tell the world and before you know it everyone knows you as the kid that gave X a blow job. Not a nice situation to be in kid.
What if a blow job moves swiftly to other things and you get pregnant or contract an infection? Are your friends of 13-15 going to support you, help bring up a baby, offer sound advice? NO! If they were real, caring, mature, sensible friends they would be watching out for you in this relationship with your BF, not trying to put you under pressure.
You are the age where your relationships are getting closer to becoming sexual but it should be when you are both ready, both emotionally able to deal with it and old enough and mature enough to fully understand (as much as one can at a young age) the possible consequences. In relationships and many other areas of adult life there will always be others trying to tell you what to do. Its how you deal with that that determines your own destiny and own happiness. When you and you boyfriend are ready, over the age of consent and understand the implications THEN, and only then, move into a sexual act.
Also, with teenage boys being teenage boys, if you give him a BJ now, he will soon want more. He will want them regularly and he will soon want to move onto full sex. You don't want to end up being used as a means to an end or be put under pressure into doing something that could have far reaching consequences.
Your friends say its ok because you've been together 6 months? What a load of rubbish! So after six months all us men can say to our girlfriends "ok honey its six months since we met, get down on your knees"? Don't let your friends or boyfriend lead you into doing things because of some old wives tale. What if you were a couple of 8 year olds who had been boyfriend and girlfriend for 6 months? Would it be fine for them to suck each other off?
If you need to ask A: if you should be doing it and B: how you go about it then you are not ready.
...............................
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (2 May 2014):
 No, don't do it.
You are in the 13-15 bracket. If you are more toward the 13 end, the very idea is quite repulsive, and the law feels just like me about it, since it considers it child molestation not only in your country but in countries like mine, with a lower age of consent.
If you are 15 ...almost 16 ... well, from 13 on these are 24- 36 months that counts a lot in female sexuality and do make a difference, SOME girls are actually mature enough at 15 , physically and mentally ( ... emotionally , it's all another story.... ) to engage in adult activities like oral sex . But,here's the catch, when they are,- they feel it, they know it, they want it. If they hold back, it's because of other considerations, not because they would not be ready and raring to go.You don't sound eager to try , you don't sound convinced , either. It's something that you are considering because your friends think it's a good idea, and / or yr bf thinks it's a good idea .That's peer pressure at its best ( or worst , actually ). Look, I understand that you might want to be dressed just like the other girls or have the same smartphone or listen to the same bands- but the sex sphere is too delicate, individual and private to let your friends influence and dictate it.
You are not ready. You'll be ready when you'll be ready , and when you'll be ready , you'll KNOW it.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (2 May 2014):
 if your friends think your boyfriend needs a blow job your friends can give it to him.
the advice NOT to discuss your sex life with your friends is spot on. What goes on between YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND is your concern and your boyfriend's concern.
If you are not sure, then you are not ready.
If you have to ask strangers what to do (and you are asking because you know what to do which is NOT do something you don't want to and are not ready for) then you are not ready.
There is NEVER a timetable for being intimate with someone.
just because you are dating for six months does not mean you need to be doing any particular activity.
Just say NO.
tell your friends "what goes on between my boyfriend and me is private and I am not going to discuss it any more"
then drop it.
in a few years you can rethink this. if you are 13 make it more than a few years... if you are 15 a few years will be enough time for you to rethink it and decide if you are ready.
...............................
A
male
reader, DoubleM +, writes (2 May 2014):
 You are too young for that.
...............................
A
male
reader, Xearo  +, writes (2 May 2014):
This is an important piece of advice I will give you. It will apply to any stage in your life. Do not discuss your private/sexual life with your friends. Also something such as intimacy isn't decided by majority...do it when YOU feel ready.
...............................
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (2 May 2014):
 You have plenty of years of blow jobs ahead of you. Don't be in any hurry to rush it.
Ignore your friends on this one and consider not discussing sexual matters with them. The less you talk about it with them, the fewer silly opinions they'll give you.
...............................
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (2 May 2014):
I'd never go faster than I felt comfortable with because someone else recommended it. NEVER.
You have a lifetime to give BJ's if you want, there's no reason to be in a hurry.
FYI BJ's usually lead to sex. Are you ready for that? Ready to ask someone for birth control/condoms/have a baby?
...............................
A
female
reader, Questing for Love +, writes (2 May 2014):
 I agree with Honeypie. Your friends are definitely peer pressuring you. And it's YOUR relationship. Your friends should honestly not have any say in what goes on with your relationship, especially when it comes to sexual activities. That is between you and your boyfriend. And if you don't feel comfortable with the idea, then you definitely shouldn't do it. You guys are kind of young and you have your whole life to experiment later when you're both ready. And you should tell your boyfriend that you're not ready to go that far yet. He needs to respect your decision and not pressure you either.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (2 May 2014):
 Your friends can go blow themselves.
IF you do NOT feel ready for this you don't OWE anyone ( your BF OR your friends) to do things you aren't ready for or willing to do.
You friends are doing what's called "peer pressure" trying to "get" you to do things and saying you should because everyone else is doing it. THAT is not a good enough reason. If they all jumped off a building or bridge should you follow too?
Honestly, you might not want to, but I think talking to your mom about this might not be a bad idea. YOU might need some support from her in trying to make the right choices FOR you and not just doing things because others are.
...............................
A
male
reader, dougbcoll +, writes (2 May 2014):
 you are too young, and you feel it also. a boy that only wants you for sexual favors does not love you. he will be after one thing, he will tell you what you want to hear so he can get what he wants.
a boy that loves you will not pressure you for sex. he will show love by giving, sharing ,protecting, and looking out for what is best for you.
a boy that is interested in you for sex will pressure you for sex, interested in what is best for him. self centered.
don't give away what you cant get back. have self respect. don't give yourself regrets to look back at, think of the future. this would be my advice.
...............................
A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (2 May 2014):
 Listen to your gut on this, which is telling you you're not ready. When it comes to sex (and even romance at all to an extent) you need to go by the beat of your own drum and not let your friends influence you on your decisions, or else you'll regret giving it up or being too easy when you weren't ready to be.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2014): the only thing that matters is if youre ready and from the wordage of the question i dont think you are. i think you doubt youre ready...which is totally fine. of course your bf is gonna yes he wants one...hes a guy lol.
dont do anything till youre ready!!!
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2014): Don't do this, you are way too young and you can get stds from oral sex. Why would your friends have any say in this at all? That is crazy- keep your personal life private from friends for the most part.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2014): NO!!! If you're not ready, do NOT do it because of others -- that's peer pressure and they're not really good friends.
I agree that you're too young but, IF you choose to in the far future, use condoms. NEVER EVER do it because someone says you should -- if they really like you and you don't want to they will accept it and not make you feel bad!!
...............................
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (2 May 2014):
 Yeah I think you're right about being too young. Your "friends" may be wanting you to do something so that they can feel better about themselves doing something they're ashamed of(misery does love company). When you get older(oh say,19 or 20) then go crazy on him assuming you are still together. But first get some advice on just how to give head. Way too many girls don't have a clue. They watch a Youtube primer and think,"Oh yeah, that seems easy enough." Get GOOD advice from an older woman you trust that has a load(pardon the pun) of experience. Good call on the hesitation.Always listen to that little voice in your head and you'll be fine. Good luck
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2014): Personally, you're too young to be doing sexual favors, 6 months of dating or not. The fact that you're not confident to do it further strengthens my disapproval. Don't be pressured into doing things you're not comfortable with. Of course your boyfriend would agree to a blowjob. It'll make him feel good and he can go brag about it to his friends. And why exactly are your friends telling you to give him a blowjob? It's kind of weird and suspicious. I've never really seen friends do that, even among women my age (20s), without reason. Make sure your "friends" aren't trying to get something to gossip about - you. Rumors and personal stories spread quickly among teenagers. Honestly, you really can't trust teenagers to keep secrets. It could hurt your reputation. Protect yourself. Don't be pressured.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2014): WHATEVER your age, if it makes you feel uncomfortable, don't bother with it! Nobody calls the shots in your life, other than YOU.You are very young to be dating to be Honest, relationships involve a lot of emotional maturity- something many adults don't even have... I think at this stage it's important to develop who you are as a person, and that is gunna involve following learning curves- but relationships can be just so painful, and maybe get in the way of things that would be better to concentrate on at this stage I.e. A passion/ career or hobbie. I don't mean to sound patronising, it's just people depend on others so much these days, without having the resources and self esteem to make themselves happy... I advise you to take things slowly, and six months isn't that long, really. Follow your gut- and your head, and don't cave for anyone. Good luck :) x
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2014): I am sorry, what???? Your friend's want you to give your boyfriend a blowjob??
Why? How is it any of their business? You are too young for sex anyway, I hope your boyfriend is under 17 also. And what is it with teenagers and blowjobs? O, yeah that's right it's a new way to stay virgin.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2014): You are too young to be worrying about that. Your boyfriend is a guy so of course he would want it. You both are way too young for all that.
As for your friends, you should get some new ones. They have no business telling you to give anything. So what it's been 6 months, are you supposed to blow every guy your with in that period? If they are girls then they are pretty silly. You are young. Dating is about being with people you like to see if it can be something more in the future. That something more is not a blowjob, sex, etc. nor is it something you have to do. If he asks you to do it, refuse. If he presses the matter, dump him because he is thinking with his dick. You should find new friends.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2014): If you don't want to do it don't let your friends tell you what to do. They're probably wanting you to do it first so they can get feedback before they give one. It's none of their business how fast you are going. Keep it slow, keep it comfortable.
...............................
|
