A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear all,My problem is that I find sex to be a dirty thingIts difficult for me to imagine some one enter his private parts in mineor me licking some ones private parts I do watch pornBut enjoy only till kissing or basically seeing couple undress each otherI imagine a boy touching me over when am nude or playing with my boobs sucking it imagining all this gives me pleasure but beyond this its a terror for meam I normal? ? please help
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female
reader, Euphoric29  +, writes (4 May 2014):
Dear OP,
You sound very normal. Sex might indeed be a little bit "dirty" and I find the idea of sex really unappealing unless I find someone really attractive.
It's a little like sharing a bottle of coke or a glass of water. You may find it gross to mix your saliva with someone elses' unless it's someone you like.
So don't worry too much about these feelings. They are normal. To enjoy sex also takes some time and practice, because you need to get used to all the feelings, fluids, noises etc. involved. Most people don't particularly enjoy the first few times they have sex because it's still too new, unusual and weird. But it gets much better :).
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (4 May 2014):
 You sound normal to me. You just have not met the right guy yet. Not all guys are dirty and yucky. Just find the right guy,then think about the rest.
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A
male
reader, Mark1978  +, writes (4 May 2014):
 assuming you have not had any kind of sexual abuse or anything previously, it may simply be the case of not being familiar with sex and sexuality up till this point. It perfectly normal. Some people loose there virginity at the drop of a hat, to others its a big issue to loose it to the right person and the right time. To people in the latter category it often doesn't feel right to imagine someone other than there ideal partner making love to them.
My parents never talked to me about sex or safe sex, if a sex scene came on tv my mom would get flustered and my parents never joked about there sex life in anyway or acknowledged sex.
As a result I also thought sex as being a bit, well, dirty. As a man in my late teens, early twenties, I was scared of having sex because, (and this sounds silly to me now as a man in my 30s), I felt it was somehow "wrong". When I lost my virginity I remember thinking "what would my mom and dad thank if they knew?". Makes me laugh at myself now but at the time it was a big thing.
Growing up in a household when sex was a bit of a taboo and all a bit old fashion, sex felt like a "big thing".
I felt in a way that "love making" was okay, but "sex", "shagging", call it what you will wasn't. Of course I realize now that the distinction between making love and having sex is blurred. What is love? How can you really decide that couple A are in love and couple B are not? You cant. Love means different things to different people. Young couples often think they are in love when in fact its a crush, infactuation or lack of experience causing confusion. Some people spend years thinking they love someone only to realize over time that they love there partner in the wrong way - like a brother say.
Maybe this is a physical issue? Are you scared that it will hurt physically when you have a man enter you? Are you scared he will be rough or not stop if you ask him?
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A
female
reader, Starlights +, writes (4 May 2014):
 It is normal for some people to be fearful of sex especially if they never had intimate relations with anyone before.
Sex is usually seen as a dirty thing in some cultures which does not help a person get over fear.
It's important to relax during sex and being with someone you truly love to enjoy the experience 100%
Sex can be a very good thing and there's many health benefits associated with it when it's performed in a loving, healthy relationship for both partners.
Overcoming your fear and being with someone you love will allow you to get over these feelings.
Hope that helps!
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