A
female
age
30-35,
*ayla
writes:So here’s the thing, I started working as a bar tender a wile back at this pub and I met this guy there, who is a totally gorgeous stud with brains to match. To only problem is that he’s really reserved.Everyone at work know that we have a thing and sometimes it feels as though he likes me to and sometimes he’ll admit is sometimes he won’t. He’s told me in the past that it would never work coz were always fighting as I drive him crazy. We didn’t talk for a wile after that as you can imagine and he deleted me on Facebook.I finally got up the courage to break our awkward silence about a month ago and we’ve never bin so close (I think he missed me). Ever since I can remember he’s asked if I want to come clubbing but only anything casual, but could never go coz I was working and was never available. And whenever we walked home together after our fight there was another member to our party and everyone’s herd 3’s a crowd.So, on Sunday there was a leaving do for some of the bar tenders but I couldn’t go coz I was working a 4pm till 12am and, to put this into perspective they all started drinking at 3pm, which meant when we closed up at midnight everyone was off there heads. Including my guy (guy 1). We talked for a bit and I have to admit I don’t like talking to drunken idiots but once I’d thrown back a few it made it easier. But of coarse the drinking led to talking and the talking lend to an argument. “What you kidding me” “your never around” me: “we walk home practically every night”. All I could here around us was for god sack we’ll you just kiss her and do us all a favour. He still didn’t instead he grabbed my hand and dragged me way from the group. “What in gods name are you doing”, guy 1: “Were gonna talk away from guy 2 so he cant @£$% things up, like he always @£%@ does”.Once we were round the corner he was defiantly up for chatting telling me about his dad who dies his brother who killed himself when he was ten over some girl and how relationships killed him etc. I kept saying all this heart braking stuff about his family telling me that he felt he could talk to me, that he could tell me this stuff, and all I could think was that he was drunk.The subject then moved on to us and what I can remember from his rants almost made me cry and considering it was poring down with rain it couldn’t have been more romantic. “You never… your never around, you, your always, working or at college and you never come out, you, you never call, I just, and your always serving people, you rarely have time” yes shame on me for doing my job, “…and you always look amazing, I mean why, why do you like me, coz I have a good body that’s it, nothing else” god I just wanted to kiss him I just told him that that wasn’t true that I just felt right with him. “…And you don’t even try to look do, your just like that, I go to the gym, your just naturally toned n everything, how, how do you do that, and your smart but I cant coz I don’t want that, I want to just have fun and all I can think about is you” I’d never been so moved in my life.Unfortunately he was refusing to go home so I had to move him to my place where he striped off to his pants and fell asleep on top of the covers. I did the same to an extent and got in bed.When we woke up the next morning he was under the bed and we were spooning. He said he didn’t remember the night I just told him that, he told me some personal stuff. We spent the entire morning talking about random stuff, I kept trying to turn the convocation to what was going on, but he kept changed the subject, he didn’t leave in the morning, we didn’t have sex, no for play, he didn’t even kiss me. We just cuddled and talked. I know most girls would kill for that and it’s taken us 9 months to get this far, and the only reason I still work there is so I can see him. I don’t know if it’s worth the wait or even if it’s going to progress. Why can’t he just tell me? Sober!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2014): It sounds like he gets drunk and wants your attention. He would like to know that he could have you if he wanted to. A lot of guys are this way, but a reserved guy would definitely be inclined to hide it. That is until he gets drunk. For a guy, wanting a girl is pretty straight forward. If she wants you back, the rest of the story writes itself. There is no need to discuss depressing personal details unless you are trying to avoid hooking up with a girl.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (6 June 2014):
 In my experience with the "truth-versus-sober" issue. When I drink too much I say things that I wish I had not said the following day. If the truth WAS told while drunk but is too painful to face when sober perhaps he should not have shared so much info..It is now too painful to recall acurately.
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