A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Well hello everyone.There is a situation that I am into and I would like for you to suggest a way to proceed. It is a bit long so please read carefully. When I am referring to feminise gay guys, there is no offence intended, cause I am fine with them. I am just doing it to describe better the situation.I am a bisexual male, and actually I have never used labels to describe myself. I mean, when it comes to having sex with someone, I just need to have feelings for that someone, or else it is not happening. Therefore, there is no discrimination from my part about if that someone is male or female, but only if I have feelings for that person.Anyway... The last year, I have met a guy at university. He shows that he is straight. I mean he even had a female fuck buddy for some time now. And when the subject of gay people and bisexual people had risen in a conversation, he would always say that he has no problem with them being gay, but he does not like the gay guys that act in a feminise way. (I would like you to know that noone knows about my "bisexuality" but I leave hints here and there)So, throughout this year, we have become very close, we hang out and do lots of activities together. We have many other friends that we hang out as well. But now we have come to a point where if he asks me if I am going out, and I say no, then he just does not join the other friends. So basically he goes out only if I am going out.And last week, he basically made a comment on a gay guy passing next to us about his feminise ways, Not an aggressive comment but it was to show that he was acting a bit as a woman. And I told him, that probably it's hormones and stuff. But anyway, then he continued that he has read lots of articles about ancient civilizations (like ancient Greeks etc) that they have never cared about the sex of the person they had sex with but only for their feelings towards that person. And he said that he is very ok with that. And that it is our modern way of life that created these discriminations etc. And when other straight guys (friends) told him "oh i cannot understand it. I cannot have sex with a guy based on my feelings", he replied with "I don't know. I think maybe we all can. And i think the bond between two guys is stronger than the one between a man and a female".So my question is: Should I try and test the waters with him? I mean, is he like giving signals that he might be curious? Or is he just very comfortable with his sexuality? Thank you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2014): Hello I am the original poster of this question.
Thank you for your answer. I agree with you in a way. I don't mind "feminise" gays, and I do not believe it is the reason why LGBT people are not so worldwide accepted. I believe the discrimination has started due to various religions, which I will not mention in this post. Nevertheless, I hope more people will be able to shed some light and give their thoughts on this. Thank you again.
A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (6 June 2014):
 This subject is so far out of my "wheelhouse" that I fear anything I might offer would either offend or be mistaken as hatespeach. My wife's uncle was gay(died of aids several years back) he and I had a great repoir and could talk about ANYTHING. He agreed with me though that the "high camp" over the top"feminese?" guys were the ones giving gays the negative image and thus holding back acceptance in the broader sense. I think your friend may see the flamboance factor as a negative also. I mean why act in such a manner as to meet the world so head on and in your face that the world is repelled? Move slowly and with caution so as to not ruin a budding friendship.Good Luck
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