A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have been married for 3 years and have been having this issue his his ex girlfriend and her daughter. When we got together he was living with her and her daughter and they have been together for 16 years. They had an open relationship to a certain point and he helped raise her daughter until we met and she was 18 at that time. After we got married and I was pregnant for our first child together I find out that my husband and the step daughter had a sexual moment together. He told me he performed oral sex on her though it only lasted a summer and she told her mom (his ex) and it stopped. I tried to be friends with them and the daughter is mean and nasty to me and has been since day one. My husband allows her behavior toward me cause he feels guilty about what he did. I did my best to befriend them and they hurt me by lying to me and treating me like they were in my marriage and I started feeling like the third wheel. I'm at the point now where I don't want these 2 in my life or our kids lives but I would lose my husband if I executed this plan. If they are not an issue in our lives me and my husband get all great but me always anticipating the next time (which has happened several times!) our marriage is suffering and I'm finding myself slipping into depression and I have anxiety attacks over this. My husband knows what this is doing to me but would rather leave me and his 2 small innocent kids, than to stop contact completely with them. I want him to just tell them the damage cannot be fixed and they need to leave us alone but I can't tell him that cause I feel it's not my place. My only options I see is to stay and suck it up for our babies or leave and lose my husband. What do I do? I need help so badly!!!!
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ex girlfriend, his ex, oral sex Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (9 June 2014):
 From the male point of view(mine) cunnilinggus is even more intimate than traditinal intercourse so if I were you I'd reevaluate how serious this really is. Guys just don't 'go down on any old girl or woman. There are probably some real serius feelings for her.As wierd as that might sound, he may be in love with this girl.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI haven't actually came out and told him but he does not contact them...they contact him. They have his number and are friends with his mom which knows what happened though my husband and them don't know I told her. They still remain in his family and his mom helps them whenever they ask. Both won't work even though are very capable so they are on welfare hiding behind mental illnesses. These two people are disgusting and I plan on telling them what I think about them when the opportunity happens. Maybe then they will either stay away permanently and if not then I walk.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 June 2014): He hasn't changed that much dearie if he still wants to hang out with them. you have to saya thaht you don't want them in your life anymore, you have tto focus on your children. He had sexual relations with both of them in the past , he may not like it now but he did and it's disgusting he still wants to hang around the daughter. You must stop this.
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A
male
reader, crushed_by_love  +, writes (6 June 2014):
You won't want to hear this but your husband has paedophile tendencies. No matter how much 'pressure' he had put upon him, to shave a 13 year old girls pubic area shows an astonishing lack of moral judgement. To perform oral sex on her at a later date, even more so.Open relationships are one thing but it sounds like some bizarre form of grooming took place from the mother and he happily went along with it.YOU need them to be out of your life completely. I'm not sure you should even tolerate your hubbies presence if he can't see what is so wrong about this whole situation
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI have 6 kids total, 3 boys and 3 girls ages ranging from 3 months to 19 years. I don not worry about him doing this to any of my girls cause he has proven himself in many ways. His ex is a major factor in all this due to just not caring about herself or their relationship cause he was allowed to bring women home and sleep with them in their bed with her. When her daughter was about 12-13 years old and asked her mother to show her how to shave her private area she told her to have her "dad" do it cause his hands are more steadier. At first he didn't want to cause it made him uncomfortable but both of them pushed the issue and he did it. She made his cross the line and allowed her daughter to be baked in front of him and him to do the same. Neither cared so I can see why it went further and even after it happened the daughter flirted with him and branched around naked. He left when I came in the picture and has changed his whole life around. The only issue now is them because he has changed and they refuse to.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 June 2014): Is your first child a boy or a girl? If a girl,please be wary before your husband tampers with her too. That should be your No 1 priority now and always.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 June 2014): I'm sorry but they shouldn't be in his life anymore. It's disrespectful to you and your family! COME ON! Grow a pair, or a vagina.
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