A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi I know this will sound typical and far from what a marriage should be like. I never imagined I would feel this way and i don't want to.Me and my husband have been together on and off for about 8 years and recently married 6 months ago. Ever since the day we got married, I have felt dread that I would be unhappy. I never felt this before and for some time, I have ignored it and occupied myself with work and hobbies. It was only recently when I saw my friend who met her fiance at the same time as me have a baby and put through such hardship and still are so blissfully in love that I thought, I should feel that way too but I haven't for a long time. He wants children and i should have been happy to hear it but it just reminded me of how unhappy my parents were together for 22 years because they wanted to stay together for their kids.My husband used to cheat on me when we were younger and he grew up and changed and I appreciate it so much but some days I wake up and I don't recognise myself or him and why our relationship ever came to this. We have so much trouble communicating and some of our issues that we still "argue" about now still exist. I say "argue" because we don't really argue, we say what we need to say and then drop it until it comes back again. Lately, I can't shake the feeling that I want to be on my own and live life without worrying about him but I feel an extreme amount of guilt because he is good to me, he really is but I lost sight of who I am and I don't believe we can get back to happiness. I am distant from him because history proves we can't work things out and i can see that he is in pain and I can't stand it and then i think about staying together but the love is not enough and the feeling is fleating. I have to keep talking myself into it.What should I do?How do I break a 10 year habbit and should i?
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (20 June 2014):
 You may need to seek profesional help on this one. anonomous therapy sugestions probably won;t help sharpen communication skills.Good Luck
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (17 June 2014):
 There is a possibility you are suffering from depression. I could not see anything in your post that says you are miserable and the husband treats you badly. It sounds like he has changed for the good and you cannot find peace and happiness in what you have. I suggest to see a specialist before you throw away your marriage. Depression is not something to be embarrassed about and is treatable. Maybe its a simple case of getting help and the marriage is not a problem.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt +, writes (17 June 2014):
I think tou're going through what we all go through shortly after marraige...it's not buyers remorse but kind of like it. In those early year or years while you two are trying to figure each other out like which way to put the toilet paper on the dispenser or whether or not he or she like their cream of wheat lumpy or not lumpy. The "rear view mirror" can sudenly look pretty nice, however, upon settling in to routines and finding a harmony of sorts things begin to look better. don't fret ove it. It's common to suddenly realize all your "freedoms" you had are now so / a little 'cheated' It will pass. and you'll grow old together in a good way.
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