A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So I've been seeing a guy for about three months now. The relationship was wonderful. We were both falling in love and had so much fun together. We met each other's friends and family and seen each other just about every day. A week ago we got into an argument over text because he said he was leaving to go pay a bill and would be right back, but ended up running off to do like ten other things leaving me at home to hang out with some other guy we let crash on the couch the night before after having a party. The other guy was a nice guy, obviously homeless however, and offered to clean the kitchen for me since the party crew made a mess of it and he hung out all day long as my boyfriend never showed back up. I eventually told the guy he had to leave, and then proceeded to cry myself to sleep because I felt my boyfriend didn't seem to care about me. Our argument lasted days over text, with me telling him I needed him to make it clear that he cares about me, and him saying he does and that he misses me but was busy and couldn't come over. After a few days, I started telling him not to bother coming over because I was hurt and trying to get over him, but in reality I was hoping he would start making an effort to show it. I got upset and blocked him on social media because I was upset that our issues were being handled on there instead of in person like I felt that they should be. But then a few hours later I unblocked him and we started texting again, apologising and saying we missed each other badly etc. But still not making plans to see each other. Then a week goes by not seeing him and we have a small argument one morning before he goes to work and he says he doesn't want to talk about it so I blocked him all day and then when he got off work I unblocked him and he blocked me, changed his relationship status on his page, deleted the pictures of me, everything. I texted his number and asked if we were completely done and to let me know so that I can for real leave him alone but he wouldn't give me a straight yes or no, just kept saying it's what I wanted, despite me telling him I thought it was all fixable and that I wanted to try. It ended with us agreeing to him keeping me blocked online and me keeping his number blocked. I can't believe it all fell apart the way it did. We were perfect together just a week ago. Neither of us have crossed any serious lines and up until the last block we seemingly both wanted to work it out but had too much pride and ego. We've both been hurt in past relationships and it's hard to believe we're throwing this away so easily, so he makes it seem. Should I just forget about him now? Should I try no contact and hope he comes back and shows that he cares about me and us? I feel stupid and hurt and miss him so much already. I don't know what my next step is supposed to be. I don't have the pride and ego there anymore and would do whatever, but at the same time feel I should keep my foot down with needing to know I'm cared about too.
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (23 March 2018):
 Neither of you are ready for a relationship. This shouldn't happen in a year or more, let alone 3 months. It's childish and so is thinking you're falling in love so soon.
Have a proper discussion, IN PERSON and figure out what's next. No more blocking/unblocking and arguments over texts.
A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (22 March 2018):
 Sorry, but how old are you? I usually read posts and then check the age of the poster. I thought you were 15 or thereabouts.
Stop playing games with blocking/unblocking . . . The pair of you need to start acting like adults. Seriously.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 March 2018):
 Three months and all this has happened? I doubt this is going to work out. I read your other post as well. The other guy at your house? Who was he and why did you let some stranger sleep in your house and stay all day? If you are going to have a party be careful of who you allow to stay. Your boyfriend did wrong by not letting you know he wouldn't be back. But I can't see how it is his fault a homeless guy was in your house. That could have been sorted in minutes not days! If he does not communicate well with you now then that is not going to change.
When you tell a guy to do one thing when you mean another thing is quite immature. He is not a mind reader. If you needed attention its the wrong way to go around it. Blocking him again is very childish and it sounds like you both cannot communicate. Again its only been three months and this is to much for such a short time.
You need to stop blocking and unblocking, it is childish behavior. Adults don't do that. In a relationship you need to communicate and sort issues out like adults not over social media. You keep blaming him for everything and not accepting what you do to him is hurtful as well.
Honestly your best bet is to move on. You are not suited to each other.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 March 2018):
 This sounds like utterly immature behavior from you both.
And I think you are wasting your time on this guy. 3 months in and this much drama?
Drama doesn't equate to passion or deep feelings - it equates to you two NOT being a good match AT ALL.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (22 March 2018):
 Waste of time.
If this is how it's going after only a few months it won't get any better.
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A
male
reader, Allumeuse +, writes (22 March 2018):
If ever there was textbook illustration of how not to do it. You guys have done it. A text argument 'for days'?
Never never never argue or try to get your point of view across by text. It is the lowest, least nuanced, most shitty sounding form of communication known to man. If you are pissed off- unless you really want to escalate it, (and why do you want to do that?) - just call. Or text something neutral- hey I haven't heard from you could you call me when you get this? And then leave it until you get a call. Its not an emergency.
All this folds into a deeper skill of being able to communicate with a partner to solve an argument, not score points or hurt or get a reaction. It seems that neither of you have those skills since blocking and not talking is highly unlikely to result in a solved problem.
Yes, you are right. Leaving you alone all day was wrong. He shouldn't have done that. But I guess everything after that was escalated by you and the means of communication. And both of your ridiculously strutting pompous egos. There wasn't enough room in any relationship for the size of both of them, and conclusive proof that really caring about each other isn't even close to what you need to make a working relationship. You didn't survive your first row. Good. You saved yourself a lot of time and pain. Learn from this.
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A
female
reader, M.Chang  +, writes (22 March 2018):
 Although you both acted Childish but you are not mature enough to handle a relationship.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2018): I've been through this its best to forget social media when it comes to relationships. Talk on phone and meet up use mobile text in between quit social media and the blocking business. It just makes you paranoid all the time. Let him contact you and see if he's bothered to try again if he does then do things differently next time. If he doesn't just move on
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