A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year now and even have a baby together. I have really bad trust issues with him since I caught him lying about looking at porn and one night hook ups. Recently I looked on his phone and seen that he has been looking at sex dolls/pocket pussys. Also has been watching porn even though he swears he hasn't. Should I be worried about what I seen on his phone?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2018): I would be worried. Where there is smoke, there is fire. It certainly applies here.
Baby or no baby, you do not ever have to stay with any man who disrespects you, abuses you, lies to you, cheats on you, or does not love you in a relationship.
Too many women put up with scum bucket men in relationships because they feel stuck or trapped. Trapped by kids, by their own love for him, by their own delusions of the man they think he is, by their low self esteem thinking they cannot do any better, by fear that they will never find another man, because they are hoping he will change, because they think THEIR love will fix him, because they are co dependent... etc.
None of the above will ever apply. A man who is bad is bad. A man who lies is a liar. A man who seeks out porn is an addict. A man who is browsing hook up sites is a cheater and I say this because even browsing shows he has the INTENTION to cheat, which in my book is just as bad.
It is your decision now. You know what you are dealing with. You know what kind of a man he is.
Will you bury your head in the sand and pretend he will change? And stay with him hoping you are wrong?
Don't waste your time and potential years hanging onto a man who is not going to ever be good enough for you. Remember, it is NOT the other way around!!
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (17 March 2018):
 Okay so, this guy has cheated?
Im more worried about the fact you're still with him when he's disrespected your relationship in the biggest way possible, yet you're more bothered about him looking at artificial vaginas.
I think you need to get your priorities in order to be quite honest. What is the reason for staying with him? Your child? Or that you love him? Because it doesn't sound like he loves you, so why would you give it him back in return? I don't think you're ever going to trust the guy 100% and I say this to EVWRYONE in positions like yours, WHY stay with someone who you are going to be wondering what they're up to constantly?
What quality of relationship is it when you need to look at the other persons phone for reassurance? You're wasting your time massively, you don't need to stay together just because you have a child.
There is someone out there for you that you won't have to check up on, this guy isn't for you.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (17 March 2018):
 Perhaps you should decided whether you trust him or not, and stop snooping on his phone?
You are very young and obviously got pregnant soon after meeting him, before you had chance to assess properly what sort of a partner he would make. (I hope you are now using affective contraception?) There is now a baby in the picture and, for his/her sake, you need to try to make a go of your relationship with her father.
Watching porn is one thing. One night "hook ups" are another. Porn is not going to give you an STI, while the latter is likely to, sooner or later. If he is watching porn, that is his private affair. He is not making you watch it so stop invading his privacy.
Bottom line: stop snooping on his phone and start talking to him.
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