A
female
age
30-35,
*cdonald
writes:My partner and i have been together for 2 years in April i am pregnant with his child but he constantly checks out other women i have looked on his phone history and he has been on porn sites i confronted him about it he swears blind he didn't do anything with them then the other day i checked the history on a phone he is borrowing off his mum and the history on it has been on various sites like chatroulette and shagle i asked him about it calmly he said it was his friend that he works with but he flirts with other women and denies it he says its not a problem coz its not cheating i have told him it hurts me and that i class it as cheating but he says its not cheating is when you kiss or touch or have full blown sex with someone else he has broken the trust and lied to me so many times and i love him to bits he means everything to me but what do i do?
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female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (17 March 2018):
 When you love someone, you risk getting hurt. It's a really sad, unfortunate fact of life. I'm going through a break up, right now. It's hard and painful, but it has to happen, sometimes.
His love isn't enough. You can't trust him. Breaking up hurts, but he hasn't changed. You need to focus on the pregnancy now.
You need to do this, OP. "I love you, but I can't trust you and I can't be with someone I can't trust. I need to focus on me and the baby now."
A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (17 March 2018):
 It's impossible for neither of you to get hurt. Of course you will, it's a 100% guarantee. What's worse though? Bring upset for a few months over breaking up with someone who's not right for you in hopes of finding the ideal partner? Or spending your life with someone you have to continuously tell not to exhibit behaviours that disrespect you?
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (17 March 2018):
What do you do?
Either deal with his behaviour or leave him. You can't keep bringing the same thing up over and over as it's clearly not changing things. Just because you're due to have a child together doesnt mean you have to stay together. He's disrespecting you and you don't like it and he sees no problem so it's never going to change if we're being realistic.
Therefore you either suck it up and spend the rest of your life on edge wondering what he's doing or you walk and find someone that doesn't worry you like he does.
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A
female
reader, mcdonald +, writes (17 March 2018):
mcdonald is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThankyou for your advice but how do i leave him he says he loves me more than anything and we have talked about breaking up in the past and he said he'd be heart broken but i feel like id be more heart broken than he would so how do i do that without any of us getting hurt thankyou in advance
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2018): Maybe he hasn't cheated yet but it sounds as if he sure is thinking about it. At the very least it is very disrespectful of him, especially since he knows it's hurting you.
You say he has broken your trust and has lied to you many times. Why are you still with him this guy? What is it about this man you love? He sounds like a complete ass.
If you stay with this guy don't think anything will change. He'll just get worse since you've already shown you will put up with his behavior. I'd advise you to start planning a life for you and your child apart from him. Do you have friends and family who will give you emotional support you if you leave? Get legal help and make sure you get the proper child support from him.
Believe me, if you stay you will let yourself in for even more pain and he'll probably end up not sticking around.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts +, writes (17 March 2018):
You can't trust him. It's either couples' counselling or break up and get child support set up.
Cheating doesn't have to be physical. Ask him if he'd be happy for you to be doing all of that stuff.
Either way, he's a liar and you can't trust him. I don't thin anything will fix this because he doesn't think he's doing anything wrong. You can't teach him to care.
I think you need to break up, move out (if you're living together) and prepare to be a single parent.
To be honest, I'm disappointed you're pregnant. Was it planned or unprotected sex? You need to put this baby first now. No crappy boyfriends you can't trust.
Get your family's support. Find your own place, if you haven't already. Learn all you can about being a single mother. Prepare as much as possible. Break up with him and get LEGAL support set up for your child, like financial and visitation - do NOT take his word for it!
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A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate  +, writes (17 March 2018):
You know what this guy is and you got pregnant by him. You have told him how you feel, I assume more than once and he has dismissed you. You have two choices, break up with him or accept him for what he is and live with his roving eye and probable cheating until you can’t anymore.
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