A
male
age
36-40,
*s77
writes:Dating for a few months I'm 30 she's 22, yesterday I found out a lot of pictures of her with her ex on her facebook from a few years ago. I asked her why she keeps them and she said she forgot to delete and that doesn't make any sense since they're not together! Guys, I don't keep pictures of ex girlfriend on social media, to me this is a red flag! And worst than this, I found out a lot of comments from guys hitting on her pictures last year on instagram and facebook. I thought to myself "What a promiscuous slut attention whore..." She slept with all these guys? Is she the kind of girl who likes male attention? I'm jealous of this pictures, I know we didn't know each other back then but I'm jealous of the way she used to dress, I'm jealous of her pictures going to nightclubs, drinking, short skirt, low cut shirts where you can see her boobs, very slutty!I think this is a red flag and I'm thinking about breaking up!
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boobs, ex girlfriend, facebook, her ex, jealous Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2018): Reading what you have written she should dump you because your jelous of her past.You are the red flag not her.I predict unless you get help and change you will end up alone.And as posters have said you are a judgemental ass...we all see it.Make an appointment you really need serious psych help.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2018): The problem is not her, the problem is you. She is and was who she was and there's nothing she will do to change it. You can either accept her and stop calling her degrading names or you can just break-up with her and find someone you will accept (past and present). You're the one uncomfortable not her. So if you don't like it step away. You cannot go around changing people much less who they were. This is why you date them, it's the period you get to know them before you marry them accepting their flaws. You're on time to walk away. G'luck!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2018): You need to look at the facts.
Sure, she has pictures of her and her ex. But how old are they? And just because you enter in a new relationship doesn't mean you have to delete the previous one. Her posting them while you two are together is a red flag, but their existence isn't.
Guys commenting on her appearance means nothing. If she's 22 and remotely attractive, of course that is going to happen. It in no way means she slept with all of them. A red flag here would be if she responds in a flirty manner with all of them, then you have something to worry about.
I don't think you like the extra attention she receives at all, and are far too possessive of her. Either chill out or break up.
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (23 March 2018):
 Break up because YOU are the problem. You don't deserve ANY woman until you learn RESPECT. Women can dress how they want - it does NOT make them "slutty" or promiscuous.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 March 2018):
 You should break up, no doubt. You call her (... so far just to yourself, ok ) whore and slutty ! No way a relationship can be carried on happily ,based on this degree of respect- in fact, zero respect. Leave the poor girl alone and free to dress and talk as she sees fit, and seek someone less glamorous and less outhoing, and most of all more attuned to your rather restrictive and judgemental syandards.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (23 March 2018):
 P.S. Why did you start dating her in the first place? You must have known something about her before dating her. Did the "slutty" appearance appeal until you took ownership of her? HER behaviour is not the problem, my friend. Your ATTITUDE is.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (23 March 2018):
Cut her loose and let her find someone who deserves her. You are a psycho.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (23 March 2018):
 Sounds to me like you are the problem. She should do whatever the hell makes her happy and not cater to your insecurities. She can have whatever pictures she wants on her social media page and she can dress however makes her comfortable. You need to chill out.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2018): I don't really care much for guys who slut-shame women.
She's 22 and attractive; so she'll get a lot of attention, which doesn't mean she slept with all the guys.
People network on social media and friend a lot of people. So if she had 200 guys following her on her Facebook page; you'd assume she slept with all of them?
Yes, definitely break-up! That's no way to characterize women just because you can't handle it and have jealousy issues.
She's obviouslyt not the girl for you, but keep your name-calling to yourself.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (23 March 2018):
 Hey, lovely mods can you delete the two extra posts? (of mine) I don't know if my computer had a stutter and posted it 3 times on it's own or because I was so gobsmacked!)
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A
female
reader, mystiquek +, writes (23 March 2018):
 Wow OP...some pretty bad names you called her. Most people do have a past, don't you? Break up with her, you have disrespected her by calling her such names and obviously think you are better than her. SHE deserves better.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (22 March 2018):
 Yes I think you should break up with her. No girl deserves to be called the names you called her by her own boyfriend. She had a past so what that is none of your business. She has sexy photos online for attention again none of your business.
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A
male
reader, N91 +, writes (22 March 2018):
 Yeah I do see a red flag.
Your obsessive behaviour. She can do as she damn well pleases to be quite frank and there's nothing you can do about it. Why should she change that stuff for you online? It's part of her past, before she even knew you. So who are you to comment on it?
You're not a child, so stop acting like it. If you can't deal with the way she is then you need to break up and find someone where you don't have to act so immaturely with.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 March 2018): I think you should follow your gut feeling and walk away.
It's only going to get worse if you stay.
It looks like she is an attention whore on the path to breaking your heart.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 March 2018):
Yes do her a favor and cut her loose so she can date guys who aren't this immature and insecure.
Sorry, OP but you are acting like you somehow OWN her because you are her BF. That no one else can look at her but you.
She is 22! (ffs) OF COURSE she wants male attention! OF course she does what MANY 22 year old do - going out with friends, dressing "sexy" or "hot".
DATE someone your own age and your own speed. This guy is NOT for you.
Dressing sexy doesn't make her a slut.
And my guess is when YOU pursued her you liked the way she looked but now that you are dating you want her to act like a nun. That is not how life works.
Grow up and end it with this girl, she doesn't need some old judgmental ass as a BF.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 March 2018):
Yes do her a favor and cut her loose so she can date guys who aren't this immature and insecure.
Sorry, OP but you are acting like you somehow OWN her because you are her BF. That no one else can look at her but you.
She is 22! (ffs) OF COURSE she wants male attention! OF course she does what MANY 22 year old do - going out with friends, dressing "sexy" or "hot".
DATE someone your own age and your own speed. This guy is NOT for you.
Dressing sexy doesn't make her a slut.
And my guess is when YOU pursued her you liked the way she looked but now that you are dating you want her to act like a nun. That is not how life works.
Grow up and end it with this girl, she doesn't need some old judgmental ass as a BF.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (22 March 2018):
Yes do her a favor and cut her loose so she can date guys who aren't this immature and insecure.
Sorry, OP but you are acting like you somehow OWN her because you are her BF. That no one else can look at her but you.
She is 22! (ffs) OF COURSE she wants male attention! OF course she does what MANY 22 year old do - going out with friends, dressing "sexy" or "hot".
DATE someone your own age and your own speed. This guy is NOT for you.
Dressing sexy doesn't make her a slut.
And my guess is when YOU pursued her you liked the way she looked but now that you are dating you want her to act like a nun. That is not how life works.
Grow up and end it with this girl, she doesn't need some old judgmental ass as a BF.
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