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When naked, do women still want to be treated with respect?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 September 2010) 32 Answers - (Newest, 30 September 2010)
A male Nigeria age 41-50, *ruce lee writes:

I have found that when women are naked, they still want to be treated with respect. And I don't have the answers to all life's questions, but I want to know something...Do women prefer being treated with respect, or do the enjoy being disrespected?

I know that sounds like a strange question but I'm curious.

I guess it also depends on which woman it is. And it depends on the situation. I don't want any disgusting answers here. Just some ideas.

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A male reader, mrvhappy United Kingdom +, writes (30 September 2010):

Hi,

If in doubt use a Dental barrier on her. (google it if you dont know what it is)

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A female reader, DenimandLace44 United States +, writes (30 September 2010):

DenimandLace44 agony aunt...and if she has a nasty rash...? Ick, just dont go there with your mouth. (if you go there at all, wear a condom. You say you are strange. I say you are different. There is nothing wrong with asking questions. Better us here and now, than a woman you are making out with...and we don't mind, eh Gabby? It's what we're here for.

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (30 September 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntAgain, if you have grounds for doubt, ask for a test. It depends on your level of trust with her, doesn't it? If you're having a lot of casual sex with women you don't know very well, both parties are entitled to ask for a test. If it's a long-term relationship, not so much.

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (30 September 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntWell put, DemmandLace. If the girl you're with is someone you've just met or it's really very early in the relationship or you have other strong grounds to doubt the presence of an STD, you should clear this question before you actually begin the 'mating ritual'. Coming up with it at that stage is too off-putting.

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A female reader, DenimandLace44 United States +, writes (30 September 2010):

DenimandLace44 agony auntIts a valid question. Hopefully, you know this person and these issues have been discussed beforehand. Some ask for (and offer) a test before sex. I wouldnt wait until you were engaging in sex, about to give/receive head before you asked. I think it would kill any momentum you had going.

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A male reader, bruce lee Nigeria +, writes (30 September 2010):

bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question

bruce lee agony auntSo, you're saying that if a woman says she doesn't have an STD that she is definetely telling the truth?

Come on. Women do tell lies sometimes, right? She could have some weird kind of rash all over her vagina and if I kiss it, I could catch something.

Sounds unfair to me. In fact, I would go so far as to say that if a woman's vagina looks nasty, I will NOT go down on her. It's common sense.

But we'll have to talk about this some other time. Thanks for your answer Gabrielle.

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (30 September 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntThat is something you should have gotten cleared long before you removed your clothes, isn't it?

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A male reader, bruce lee Nigeria +, writes (30 September 2010):

bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question

bruce lee agony auntI have another question related to his...If a woman asks me to go down on her, is it rude to ask something like...Are you sure you don't have an STD?

You see, men can wear a condom when they receive head, but women can't. So it's more dangerous for us. Right?

If I asked are you sure you don't have an STD, what would her reaction be?

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (30 September 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntCertainly wouldn't be insulted to be touched down there! As for that question...well it's not disrespectful at all, but it sounds a touch 'scientific' actually.

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A female reader, DenimandLace44 United States +, writes (30 September 2010):

DenimandLace44 agony auntDifferent cultures may be different. My guy wouldnt say p****. He doesnt say much. :) we are all different. But most women I have talked to love to be touched there. Not just diving in but working into it. Be considerate. :)

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A male reader, bruce lee Nigeria +, writes (29 September 2010):

bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question

bruce lee agony auntYou've got to understand...I am a strange person. I don't like to use words like pussy, arse, etc

I think people should act in a more dignified way sometimes. But everyone is different.

The word vagina might sound formal to some, but to me it is a beautiful word that men should use more often. By the way, do women get insulted if men touch them there with their hands?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010):

I see what you're getting at Bruce Lee, you don't have to worry about asking things like that. Generally you just work your way towards towards that while kissing and cuddling. You show respect by your actions in that sense. You don't act rough, you play, you have to be gentle physically.

Lots of women don't want to be asked things like that, they want their guy to just start slowly moving down there on their own. If they don't want you doing it, they'll stop you. But usually asking things like that shows lack of experience and it can kill the moment. Things like that just happen naturally and most girls like a guy to go down on them.

Don't dirty talk unless she asks is a good general rule, girls who find it a turn on, won't be turned off by you not doing it. But girls that don't like it will. So it's better to wait to be asked for that. Never take it upon yourself to start talking dirty. Just use compliments, tell her what you're looking at and how great it and she looks naked. Make her feel good and feel sexy.

That's all you need to do.

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A female reader, DenimandLace44 United States +, writes (29 September 2010):

DenimandLace44 agony auntI'm sorry Bruce, but I cannot imagine having sex and the man saying "How about I kiss your vagina?" Seriously? When I have sex, I am very relaxed and comfortable with my guy...(I am not relaxed and comfortable at every point but you understand what I am saying..) The word vagina has never ever been used. To stiff and proper. If a man uttered those words to me, I would roll with laughter. :) To each their own.

My guy actually doenst talk that dirty, but when he tells me what he wants or what he wants to do to me, he uses more relaxed terminology.

Oh baby, I wanna kiss your p****... that would be much closer to the words he would say.

And I would never feel the least bit disrespected. On the other hand...I respect him clothed and there is nothing that he would do while naked that would make me feel disrespected.

If a man was disrespectful to me while clothed...the most mundane sexual act would feel disrespectful. A simple kiss, would feel disrespectful. Its something in the very air around him. Can't exactly explain it or describe it, but you can bet your sweet booty, I know it. I don't waste my time around men like that. Nor does any other woman who respects HERSELF.

So it isnt the act, or the words...but the man himself. Its a feeling...and believe me, a woman knows.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010):

"Example, how about you let me kiss your vagina?

Is that dirty enough? Or is that being disrespectful?"

Oooh...that is SO dirty. (rolls eyes)

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A male reader, bruce lee Nigeria +, writes (29 September 2010):

bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question

bruce lee agony auntThanks for your answers. But you have to remember, some women like to hear some dirty talk while they're in bed as long as it doesn't relate to anal.

Example, how about you let me kiss your vagina?

Is that dirty enough? Or is that being disrespectful?

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (29 September 2010):

Honeypie agony auntOf course. Clothes makes no difference.

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A female reader, iloveblue Canada +, writes (29 September 2010):

iloveblue agony auntThat is a funny question, and who says when a woman is naked it means she wants to be disrespected? Respect is always the rule by default.

Her being naked while with you means she trusts you and that she is confident that you respect her. No woman will get naked for someone that don't respect them in the first place.

Women don't even waste a second with a disrespectful person male or female. How much more get naked?? LOL

Everyone here is right, respect is for everyone living or dead.

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A male reader, Jmtmj Australia +, writes (29 September 2010):

Jmtmj agony aunt"naked or not i demand respect"

*High five*

In my experience, only when a woman KNOWS you respect her will she maybe be ok with doing "disrespectful" things in the bedroom... If you show her you respect her by not even suggesting and especially not pressuring her to do certain things, you may even find that she eventually feels comfortable enough to suggest pushing the sexual boundaries herself... and there is nothing hotter in my opinion.

I'm sure there are a few women out there who enjoy doing dirty, disrespectful things, (for whatever reason) even on one night stands... but the one girl like this that I met didn't respect herself, had serious issues and when she asked me to do certain things after barely knowing me... I gotta be honest, I just pitied her that she was so desperate for my approval... it was a real turn off.

Gotta remember that real life ain't porn... treat her with respect always... ESPECIALLY when she's naked!!

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A male reader, mrvhappy United Kingdom +, writes (29 September 2010):

Hi OP,

You are right, this is a strange Q!!

Why would a naked woman want to be treated diffrently to a clothed woman?..after all they are still the same person unless they suffer from a clothes related sczrophinia!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010):

Strange question? uh...yeah.

Why would a woman expect disrespect when she unrobes to have sex? If you mean do some women have a fetish to be slapped around a bit, then yes, I guess some do. That varies with women...from the gentle pulling of hair at the back of the neck, to spitting on her and ramming it down her throat (which I would hope no man does). I think you are confusing disrespect with degradation? I think even women who like a bit of S&M fully expect respect.

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A female reader, DenimandLace44 United States +, writes (29 September 2010):

DenimandLace44 agony auntWe don't want to be disrespected. Ever! In long-term relationship with a lot of love and trust we may want/allow acts that appear or are considered disrespectful. Example given earlier is one such act. But I wouldnt even consider it with someone I didn't respect, or who didn't respect me. :)

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A male reader, BrownWolf Canada +, writes (29 September 2010):

BrownWolf agony aunt

My rule...treat everyone they way you want to be treated. Unless they tell you otherwise.

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A male reader, TimmD United States +, writes (29 September 2010):

TimmD agony auntAlways treat a woman with respect. ALWAYS. There's never a time a woman doesn't want your respect. She may want you to PRETEND during a sexual encounter, but this is just a form of roll-playing. Respect for her should always be there.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010):

naked or not i demand respect

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (29 September 2010):

Women don't like being disrespected, period.

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A female reader, heather123 United Kingdom +, writes (29 September 2010):

Ok... when a woman gets to the point in a relationship that she is comfortable showing her body to her partner that does not mean that she wants to be treated with any less respect. It may however mean that she feels more confident with the situation, and is able to be more responsive/dominant. Don't get this confused with respect. x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010):

Whether it's a woman or not, whether she wants to be disrespected. Every individual deserves to be respected.

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A female reader, LustyLisa United States +, writes (29 September 2010):

I don't think I'm understanding your question. Are you talking about roll play in a sexual setting where one partner may like being disrespected or degraded? Because, if you are that kind of lifestyle requires a higher lever of respect and trust so that boundaries and limits are respected and no lines are crossed. If you are talking about certain acts or dirty talk in the sexual context, that's not being or asking to be disrespected. Many times during physical intimacy, both males and females act and speak in a manner that they would never be able to in the daily social and personal interactions outside of the bed room.

As for me, whether my clothes are on or off I need and require respect. Without respect, I couldn't maintain any relationship.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (29 September 2010):

chigirl agony auntI think if you ever disrespects a woman while she is naked that will be the last time you ever see her naked....

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A male reader, bruce lee Nigeria +, writes (29 September 2010):

bruce lee is verified as being by the original poster of the question

bruce lee agony auntYeah, I guess you're both right.

But I guess it would be pretty cool to release some sperm on a woman's face in a very respectful way. Mmmmm, that would be fun.

And it would release a lot of tension.

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A female reader, Gabrielle Stoker United States +, writes (29 September 2010):

Gabrielle Stoker agony auntApart from some women who would tell you specifically that they are giving up their right to be respected (regardless of their being clothed or not at the time), yes, we do want to be treated with respect. Even if my previous statement has been something overtly sexual, even to the point of asking for the man's sperm to be released on my face, I do not see why there should be any less respect for me.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (29 September 2010):

Yeah they do want be treated with respect, at all times.

A woman that wants to be disrespected will ask you to do it, there'll be an agreement first.

The default treatment of any woman or man, in any situation is always respect. Only show disrespect to those that disrespect you first or those that get off on it and ask for it.

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