Why do all I attract is Jerks?

A female age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I am a 21 year old female. I know I have a good head on my shoulders. I am a fulltime college student, and more importantly, I know where I want to go and where I want to be in life. Ok, now on to the juicy stuff. I just dont understand why I always attract jerks. I used to be a pushover, but I am starting to stand up for myself more than I ever have in the past, but I still attract the same sort of men. Sometimes I feel like men treat me the way I do because of how good I am in bed. It's like because many men see me as innocent, and maybe a little naive, (I can't help it i just have a "vulnerable" look to me.) but I am far from that. I can hold down a conversation about any and everything, from politics, to sports, then totally flip the script and make love to a man like he's never been made love to before. Im not sure, but i think thats part of the problem. Maybe im too good in bed? Maybe they are intimidated by this? I used to have this older friend (we're not friends anymore because she thought she could talk down to me because she was older) who said men can spot women like me a mile away. supposedly im insecure. but this is far from the truth. she said i focused on sex too much, but honestly i see nothing wrong with finding as much pleasure in the act as men do. she made it seem like i was a whore for enjoying sex, and that that automatically means i sleep around, when i've slept with two men this whole year. but the situations never seem to get any better with these men. they like to have sex with, then they want to control me, playing all sorts of mind games. Then when I dont play by their rules they are gone. which is fine by me because i dont want to end up like some of my friends, who are in really bad relationships with men who are not even their significant others. just sex. which is ok, if thats what they want, but i want more. but im tired of these crazy men. last year i was involved with a man who was married. i didn't know this at the time. but he totally treated me like shit. would hang up when i called him. yet he would drive past my house on his lunch breaks. one time he even asked me where i had been for the past couple of days because he said my car wasn't in my driveway. And the man who i recently dealt with is into this whole domination thing, and then out of no where spanked me. I cant lie, I loved it, but i think it was more of a ploy on his part to get me emotionally attached to him. yet was still very cold and distant with me, and i told him that i really didnt want to have to hurt him, so he had better stop with his games. of course i was pissed when he said we shouldn't see each other anymore, so i baked a cake on his car. aka poured flour and eggs all over it. Hey it was childish but i was hurt. I dont know how i expected him to act, but i think he liked it because the next time i saw him, he went out of his way to speak to me, not even once mentioning the incident, and he knows i did it because i told him so. so there you have it, im screwed, and im angry, and i just dont know what to do to stop attracting these low lifes and losers. all suggestions and comments welcome.

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A male reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (3 October 2010):

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A female reader, blindbetty  +, writes (3 October 2010):

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