A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi aunts and uncles I'm fearing I'm going to be alone forever. I'm almost 30, quite pretty, intelligent and training to be primary school teacher. But it seems everyone but 'me is in a serious relationship and happy. I had a boyf on and off for many years but he was married and f****d 'me around... Still did it few months back! However since moving to do some training in another city I've re evaluated my life and realise how toxic he is... His about to have a baby with someone!!! Don't ask. During the past few years I've been with the loveliest man in the world... Off and on! His my best friend my rock his perfect in every way! Except we didn't have real passion... I also was hang up on married man (so over him it's unreal) anyway the perfect man was always there for years loved 'me. He also had 2 kids which stupidly at time I kept saying was issue...Anyway long story short... 'me and perfect man Not been together for while but were stillSleeping together and being lovey up till I moved to my training ;which is thousand miles away! I always thought we'd just be together and recently I've realised how much ILove him and how passion Is not all that and I'd love to help with his kids and bring the Up and just how much I love and want to be with him!!!But yep he now doesn't want to be with 'me and in fact has met someone else a good friend his known for years and gotten with her and they're moving in together. Suddenly his all happy,,, job amazing, got flat etc etc and gotten with this lady! I'm devastated as I honestly thought I'd be with him and realised just how great he was few months back! I told him and I noticed he was going cold the last few months and then I moved 3 weeks ago and today discovered his news. He told 'me. Bless him! So I've lost him! Truth Is I'm Hard work and i don't know any man that will put up with 'me! I'm mad... Possessive all time, need constant reassurance. Text a million times a day! U know what in like and every man left 'me... U say change it's 'me! Who I am and least I'm aware of it! But the lovely one he accepted it...or so I thought! He said just wanted someone normal... Too much for him! But when stage liked my madness! I know it's my fault he loved 'me for years!!! ;( and I kept him on a rope!!! One minute saying love him, next saying I don't...I wish could turn back time I feel like I'm gonna be alone forever! 30 and single as woman with no money, property and low paid job!!!great! I feel so depressed
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 October 2010): Well! i agree with jmtmj here - seems you kinda didnt want to settle that for that until it was too late , took him for granted dare I say? All you can do is learn from the lesson and maybe not make that mistake that again - you say you are needy and possesive yet obviously wasnt like that with that guy all the time - you let the rope free so long he got away (obviously you were comfortable and secure with him) so maybe the whole scenario has left you knowing yourself a lot better? you appear confident by the way you put yourself across , intelligent , pretty etc but I feel that deep down is a very vulnerable young lady that shows herself through neediness and possesiveness. The girl with it all except the knowledge of herself and what she truly needs ;0) 30 is a great age! get out there and have some fun being single , learn about yourself - be your own teacher ....the great side to not having property is that you are free , not tied down , the worlds your oyster and there are so many things you could do . You cant turn back the clock , and truth is , you probably wouldnt really if you could - although this guy was great for you he wasnt exactly what you wanted obviously and sooner or later you would have the same down depressed feeling you are getting now . I feel you would have settled for the one you can live with , as opposed to the one you cant live without ....there is a positive to be found within every situation , just as there are lessons ... get to know you , what you 'really' need and want in a man and have fun doing that - good luck - you could turn this into one heck of an adventure x
A
female
reader, heart-shaped-balloon  +, writes (5 October 2010):
 You're going to have to work on loving yourself. You neediness comes from insecurity, and once that's gone you will be in a much better place. Don't be afraid about being alone- my father didn't marry until his later thirties and he married the love of his life. They are a perfect couple- best friends, cuddle all the time, etc. He also had two kids with her. (One- me, is adopted though ;] )
So don't think because you're almost 20 you're gonna be alone. You have a lot going for you, and a guy will come along who you adore and who you have absolute chemistry with. You just have to look for him.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (5 October 2010):
 I'll shoot from the hip here...
It sounds like you kept him on a rope as your back up guy and now you want him because you can't have him... Since he was your back up guy you never had to worry about one day maybe winding up old and alone. Which may explain why you're suddenly re-assessing everything... I don't think you considered him "the perfect man" until he met somebody else and you couldn't have him... otherwise you would have snapped him up right away.
(but that's just a wild shot in the dark based on what you've written)
Other than being possessive and needy you sound like a real catch. You're young, clearly intelligent, with a respectable career pathway... good things will head your way. Also, you having no money, property and a low paying job is NOT going to stop a decent guy from falling in love with you, so chin-up! :)
Best of luck
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