A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:so there is this guy and we both know of eachother we have one class together. he works as a bouncer at this bar i often go to. we have never realy talked much just rare casual convos. so one night i was just talking to while he was working kinda real brief. he smiled a lot and i asked him if he wants some comapany and he said sure so i brought a chair over and i got in trouble lol so i just went to the bar for a drink. my friend goes up to him without me knowing and says that i think hes cute and she asked what he thought of me and he said i was cute. she then said why dont you go talk to her and he said i cant im working. then he was walking around the bar later in the night and i approached him and he walked away after like a hello and said i got to go over here and like i dont know if he had to because he was working or because he just didnt want to talk to but like he doesnt even know me so im not sure if thats it. but later on this one girl walked up to him and she was sooo ugly and they were talking but, i dont know if it was because she was persitant but it looked like she was doing most of the talking. so im confused and he thinks im attractive so i dont know what to doo. he is so good looking and has the sweetest smile. what should i do to get this guy? is he shy? and maybe i should be more outgoing with him. i feel like i should make the first move but.. i dont know im soo lost!
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female
reader, heart-shaped-balloon +, writes (5 October 2010):
 He's just working, hon. :) Try and get his number so you can talk outside of his workplace. Be brave. He is in no position to approach you at work- he can get in a lot of trouble and a job should always come before girls. Make the first move since he can't. Never be afraid of making the first move- he likes you so far, and you've got nothing to lose. What's he going to do? Not talk to you? Haha.
A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (5 October 2010):
 I've worked in a nightclub for a few years now and you have to remember that bouncers are in a position where they CAN talk to customers... but they are still working. If a manager sees that they are talking to a girl instead of watching the crowd for fights or intoxicated patrons then their job can be on the line. Some bouncers can seem a bit indifferent to customers striking up conversations and will talk but still be scanning the crowd- which can make them seem pretty unfriendly.
Maybe you just got him at a bad time or his manager was nearby. It really is all about the timing though, I bet if you went to the bar earlier when it isn't so busy that he'd be more willing and able to talk...
Best of luck :)
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