A
male
age
36-40,
*lackvw
writes:I am a 26 year old guy who is married to a very attractive 24 year old. We have been married for almost 3 years. My wife has reciently made a couple of guy friends at her job, and one of witch she exchanged numbers with. They text back and forth often and reciently they have been going out to lunch together, just the 2 of them. Also, some of the text messages can get a little racey, like he will forward her some of the "funny" sexual pictures (nothing with nudity or anything too vulgar and they are funny) and he tells her that she is hot, witch she is. Anyways, my question is this, Should I be conserned about this? I do not feel jelous about the situation because she shows me his texts and tells me what he says, like how he told her she was hot, so at least she doesnt appear to be hiding anything from me. But she is a married woman and I kind of think it may be a little disrespectful. Thanks in advance for any input!BlackVW
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 October 2010): I was considered the friend to a married woman and sooner ot later it will become intimate,so yes be very worried the outcome won,t be good for your marriage.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2010): If you are really concerned, talk to the guy alone and tell him that if he tries anything more than what he is currently doing, you will destroy him. Utterly and completely. Leave his life in shambles.
Tell him you are fine with him being friends with him and thats it.
Nip anything that can possibly happen in the bud before it even has a chance to start.
Flynn 24
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 October 2010): Yes, this is not a problem...if you are OK with her inviting trouble into the relationship.
This is an invitation to have an affair.
Read some stuff about how affairs start "I though XXX was just a friend."
Read the book "Not Just Friends".
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A
female
reader, LLindy87 +, writes (8 October 2010):
 I go out to lunch with my guy friend who is engaged ALL THE TIME. Just because two people hang out of the opposite sex doesn't mean they are into each other. a guy and a girl can be just friends.
I think its awesome that she isn't hiding anything from you. She clearly just sees this guy as a friend.
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A
male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (8 October 2010):
 She shows you his texts, tells you what he says- even when he told her she was hot... If you're not jealous then I wouldn't say anything, she seems like a great wife to be honest.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 October 2010): It sounds like your wife is not hiding something from you, but she's either naive (for thinking the other guy isn't trying to seduce her) or she's wanting the attention from him because you're not giving her enough attention and she wants you to get a bit jealous.
If you're not taking care of business at home, she's sending you a signal: Take care of business or you might be fired. If you are taking care of business, she may just be naive.
The real problem here is the jackass who is obviously trying to put the moves on a married woman. I'm assuming, since she lets you know what's going on, that she hasn't mislead him. If she hasn't, then he's just after a little tail, regardless of what it does to your marriage.
I would tell her you're uncomfortable about their friendship and tell her it's up to her if she wants to continue things, but you don't like it and you think the guy clearly has the impression he's going to be able to have sex with her. If she seems genuinely shocked or admits she's worried about the same thing, she's naive. If she responds with something about how that's silly because she's not really that attractive, or she doesn't attract guys like that, etc., she's craving your attention. If she tells you you're being ridiculous, that it's harmless, that they're just friends and neither of them look at each other in that way, etc., then you're in trouble.
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