A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I’m friends with a soap star on facebook, I sent her a friend request as a joke and it backfired on me as she accepted the request. I’ve tried to talk to her a few times. she doesn’t seem to respond and only sees messages I send and doesn’t reply. what should I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2021): Soap stars work very long hours and have very little spare time. The spare time they have is for their husband/ lovers/ family, friends, not strangers they do not know and have nothing in common with. If you were rich and famous would you sit on your computer chatting to dreamers all day or would you be out enjoying your life, shopping, restaurants, theatre, holidays, meeting friends you have things in common with are far better! You may be lonely and short of options they are not. They work hard and earn a lot of money so that they can have an exciting interesting life, not waste it online talking to strangers. And I thought everyone knew that they are online to get fans to boost their image not to get to know them 1 2 1 as individuals. They pay staff to do all that for them. You would not warrant a reply and you may be one of 500 who friended her that day.
As for you contacting her as a joke. Rubbish. You lie. You were fancying her and wanting to get close to her. This is why you are so angry and upset when she needed you a lot less (not at all) than you need her.
Let's face it. If you cannot get an ordinary woman to be your girlfriend or wife you would have no chance at all with a rich famous woman. Lower your sights. When you aim too high this is what happens. If you can't get an ordinary woman of your age then go for someone who is plainer and fatter or less attractive and older, be less picky, not a lot more picky! What can you offer a famous rich woman? Grow up. She would either think you are a boring gold digger or a mentally ill person living in a dream world. She isn't going to date someone with nothing that nobody has ever heard of just because it suits you. The only reason you want her is because she is rich, famous, female and gorgeous. You need to be able her a lot in return for all that. Sophia Loren was beautiful, young, female and had loads of men after her, she chose a very rich powerful older man. Not a wet behind the ears loser with dreams, who would have ruined her career or bled her dry or both. You do not own people just because you send them a friend request.
Her time is her own. The only time she is answerable to is the time she sells to tv and film work. The rest of the time she can do as she wants. You come across as self obsessed, selfish, very immature and strange.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2021): Constantly sending messages hoping for a reply is creepy. She will probably have a team who run her social media so when 'she' sees your messages its really her team. As everyone else has said they accept 'friend' requests to build up their social status and keep in the public eye. Dont hound people with messages it won't end well
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2021): OP... the soap opera actress did not friend you. She does not even know you exist. The page is run by someone other than her. The person who has been hired to manage her page has friended you. She will have a private page for her friends and family that you likely know nothing about because she will not use her real name. And there's a reason for that... to dissuade men like you from friending her. I am sure there are a lot of people like you out there. And for safety reasons, celebrities usually have pages which are not truly their own but run by others.
You are old enough to know that this is a teenaged fantasy that is not based on reality. If you think she is interested in you and is personally snubbing you then I think you need some therapy. I think you need to spend less time fantasizing and on Facebook and start living your real life. Do you work? Do you have hobbies? Do you have goals in life? Are you social? Do you have friends? I can think of much more productive ways to spend my day than to pine over some imaginary pipe dream that will only harm you in the end. You could become obsessed with this person, and go too far. Stalking them. Taking it personally that they don't contact you and harass her. Stop now. Stop deluding yourself and wake up! Talk to a therapist. You seem to have some internal issues that need resolving.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (19 November 2021):
 She isn't your friend. You aren't her friend.
You are just another fan and another number and "follower" for her. Adding you to her Facebook means nothing. You are still a stranger to her. And probably always will be. And that is OK. You don't know her either. You know her work as an actress and what you can "glean" of social media (which might be somewhat fabricated and engineered for "likes" and work purposes).
She doesn't OWE you to answer. She doesn't OWE you squat.
I absolutely agree with YCBS "If you want to chat to women, chat to ones you actually know in real life. "
Don't behave like a stalker. Check yourself.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (19 November 2021):
 Just be thankful she accepted your request, you should be really happy with that.
She probably is bombarded with messages all day every day, she can't respond to them all, its nothing to do with you, she is a soap star and very busy i should imagine.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (19 November 2021):
 Well, at least I had something to chuckle at over breakfast this morning.
You need to educate yourself on how social media works. This soap star is not on Facebook to make friends or to chat to people. She's there to raise her public profile. If she has a real Facebook page, she will have it locked down so that only her real friends can see it. It is highly unlikely she will even read anything on this page as it is probably run by someone from her publicity team.
What puzzled me was your statement that you sent her a friend request "as a joke". What sort of joke is that? Do you make a habit of this sort of behaviour?
I'm no soap star, or in the public eye in any way, but I find it extremely irritating when I accept friend requests from men who share my interests and are members of the same groups as I have joined, only to then be bombarded with private messages wanting to chat. I ignore but, if they persist, they get unfriended and blocked.
If you want to chat to women, chat to ones you actually know in real life. A soap star's social media page is not the way to chat to women.
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (19 November 2021):
Take a hint? She probably gets plenty of messages, and she probably knows how to respond to them if she desires. If she hasn't responded she's either busy or not interested in responding or both.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 November 2021): In that case perhaps, for her, she "friends" people,
but doesn't really have time to really be a friend.
Just be flattered that she likes something about you, but don't expect much
in the way of replies.
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