A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I was seeing a male friend. (a)It was slowly progressing friendship.I began talking to another male friend, (B)(b) began to spread rumors about himself and me that we were engaging in sex. That wasn’t true at all.However my first male friend (a) found out and now isn’t talking to me or my texts.. Today (B) said he was going to talk to (A) to right the issue.Is it over?
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female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (7 December 2021):
 Yep cut them both off - block access to your and their social media.
Don't stay "friends" with either.
Move on.
No one here can read their minds and you have no idea what kind of lies A AND/OR B is telling each other about you. And really, it's nothing you can do a thing about nor is it your business, even if you are the "subject".
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2021): Why are the two are discussing you? This seems like high school nonsense. I'd dump the both of them and move on.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2021): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionB never spoke to a.
However, the situation ship is still in progress. Sad to say not as it should be but going forward nevertheless.
A now confides n B about budding relationship.
I have not been informed yet about A.
I am not sure if I like A talking to B. About me and A.
It’s new to me from B.
Not sure why a is confiding in b?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 December 2021): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionB never spoke to a.
However, the situation ship is still in progress. Sad to say not as it should be but going forward nevertheless.
A now confides n B about budding relationship.
I have not been informed yet about A.
I am not sure if I like A talking to B. About me and A.
It’s new to me from B.
Not sure why a is confiding in b?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 November 2021): I'd sit tight and wait until all this blows over. If (A) never gets back to you, just move on. Like I said, he probably wasn't all the interested to begin with. I'd get as far from (B) as I could.
Don't be a player, it catches up with you. One dude at a time.
Don't backtrack rumors, you're only giving them credence and more traction when you follow-up on them. Just let them fade; they'll get wiped-out and forgotten as soon as the next one comes along about somebody else.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2021): Why would B want to right the issue - get real! And why would you be silly enough to let him know how to contact other people you know and say whatever he fancies about you?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2021): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionActually no there isn’t any more to this
That’s the story.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2021): I guess it remains to be seen. Let's see if (B) can convince (A) that he was lying. Once evil rumors get-out, backtracking on them doesn't usually help much; because you don't know how far they've traveled, and if they'll ever be unbelieved.
Rumors require a relay of gossips; and no telling how many people will pass it on.
If you're talking and flirting with two guys at the same time; that alone puts you in the hot seat. You're dealing with male-pride and ego here. Then you're placing your trustworthiness in question.
My guess is, you never really had a firm connection with (A) to begin with; and he can already see that drama has begun before anything ever got started with you.
Don't get your hopes up!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  +, writes (5 November 2021):
 Lesson for the future: one bloke at a time. If you spread yourself too thinly, it will bite you on your behind. If things with the first guy were progressing, you should not have been messing around with the second guy unless you had an agreement with the first guy that you were both free to see other people. People don't like being messed around.
Is it over? Only the first guy knows the answer to that. Depends on how badly hurt he felt when he found out you were seeing the second guy. Put yourself in his position. I doubt you would like it if someone you thought was a friend and to whom you were getting attached romantically suddenly started seeing someone else, regardless of whether sex was involved or not.
Personally I would not trust the second guy to smooth things over for you. He sounds like a snake.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (5 November 2021):
 B is not someone you want in your life, he is untrustworthy and likes spreading gossip, now he has possible ruined your chances of getting with A.
Of course he will not rectify his lie and put it right, why would he, and what could he possibly gain from it anyway.
I would block B and get him out of your life, if he can spread lies like this he is not someone you want in your life.
If you really like A then all you can do is try to talk to him and tell him it was all a lie and B made it all up. If A does not want to talk to you anymore at least you will know you tried and you can move on with your head held up high.
Use this experience as a lesson, a learning curve so you know not to make this mistake again.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (5 November 2021):
I'd cut B off. ASAP.
Whether B tells A the truth is moot. Because he might not believe it anyway. So A might be a non-starter.
And B? Immature asshat who I would NOT keep around in my life.
That IS however what can happen when you start "talking" to multiple people at the same time and someone wants to "eliminate" the competition.
My advice? Start over. Stick to ONE person at a time to get to know if you are looking for a romantic partner.
I don't know how B found out about A, but if they run in the same circles you need to not "fish in such a shallow pool". If B found out from social media, you might want to consider not giving a new potential partner full access to your social media until you are actually dating.
B knows that he can't fix this. I don't think he is going to either, but that is just a guess. No guy in his right mind is going to first spread rumors then pull them back and expect others will believe that. How old is B? 15?
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2021): Yes it's over. Friend B made up lies about you then you trust him enough to right the wrong with friend A?
Why would your friend lie about having sex with you? Something tells me there is more to this story than what you're willing to share.
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