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Is it weird for a doctor to hug you?

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Question - (31 October 2021) 6 Answers - (Newest, 4 November 2021)
A female Australia age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Is it weird, inappropriate, or flirting for your doctor to share a warm, longish (3-4 second) hug with you and rub the middle of your back up and down at the same time? When I say doctor, I mean general practioner.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2021):

Sorry, I only hit the send button once. Not sure why it posted twice!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2021):

Not if that doctor is your boyfriend, a brother, your father, a close friend, or your husband. Shaking hands is fine, and more acceptable.

Otherwise, hugging is inappropriate, and unprofessional. It seems he's testing the limits to see what you'd allow. If it doesn't feel right, it isn't. If it's something he does to his female-patients on a regular basis; it's only a matter of time before he's facing a medial ethics board; and staring down a suit for his unprofessional behavior. Professional healthcare providers only touch patients for the purpose of giving them medical treatment.

In case you didn't know, it's unethical. He's a perfect candidate for a sexual-harassment suit. If you don't see it that way, I am certain some other woman will!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2021):

Not if that doctor is your boyfriend, a brother, your father, a close friend, or your husband. Shaking hands is fine, and more acceptable.

Otherwise, hugging is inappropriate, and unprofessional. It seems he's testing the limits to see what you'd allow. If it doesn't feel right, it isn't. If it's something he does to his female-patients on a regular basis; it's only a matter of time before he's facing a medial ethics board; and staring down a suit for his unprofessional behavior. Professional healthcare providers only touch patients for the purpose of giving them medical treatment.

In case you didn't know, it's unethical. He's a perfect candidate for a sexual-harassment suit. If you don't see it that way, I am certain some other woman will!

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (3 November 2021):

Honeypie agony auntIt depends.

Mostly I'd say yes, it's weird. And I would have backed away.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 November 2021):

I don't think this behaviour is encouraged or deemed to be professional. I know of no doctor for the last couple of decades who would hug a patient or touch them in any way other than professionally for a physical examination. No, this sort of behaviour went out long ago.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom +, writes (3 November 2021):

kenny agony auntWithout knowing the circumstances of which this took place, and how well you know the GP, and assuming this happened on a visit to the actual practice where he/she works then i would say its not normal for a doctor to get out of his/her chair and give their patient a hug followed by a back rub after their visit.

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