| A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: HiMy girlfriend seems immature. We have been chatting for about 6 months and have decided to meet. She hangs on to every word I say and I dislike that very much. Seems everything needs to go her way. For example, we talk on the phone I suggest our first meeting should be for a weekend and see how that goes. She feels a weekend is not long enough and wants to stay 2 weeks. I said, what happens if we don't click? To me it makes more sense to try a weekend. She always wants to rush things as well. Let's move in together. Well no, I'm not doing that without meeting especially we have issues every other day because apparently i say things that bother her. I'm being realistic about this. I cant rush into anything. I have delayed our meeting because the way she acts. She wants calls , and messages always. I can't do it. I prefer independent ladies not ones who expect me to be there every moment. It's not possible. She does have a very sweet side too but her negativity ruins that. Any advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (8 November 2021):
 You have only been chatting for 6 months, and already you encountering red flags.
She is what she is, we can't change people, and its pointless to even try, she is never going to be the person that you are looking for.
She wants to take the reins and control every situation, and to mention moving in together at this early stage i'm suprised you have not run for the hills already.
Do yourself a favour and save yourself from unwanted future heartache and cut her loose, then find someone who is more of a perfect fit to what you are looking for.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (8 November 2021):
 Yep, I have to agree with the other aunties,
Thank her for her time and move on. You already know you are incompatible.
Meeting her in person is not going to change her. Or you.
She can be sweet and not a good match for you.
Also, a weekend will not determine if you can make it work. Anyone can be on their best behavior for a weekend.
You see red flags, don't ignore them. She wants to rush things, wants to move in asap, she is more demanding than you like, she obviously seems to think you having your own opinions is not OK, you think she is immature... This is not magically going to work if you two DESIRE each other physically.
Date someone who lives closer. Someone you after a couple of WEEKs of talking to can meet up for a lunch date or coffee. Don't spend 6 months talking to someone you think has all these "flaws" that don't fit with your ideas of a good partner.
I think you already know she isn't the right girl for you. You just would like her to be. Again, DO NOT ignore red flags in the future.
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (7 November 2021):
 You've delayed meeting because the two of you are incompatible and you know it. Perhaps you're trying to be the nice guy and not hurt her feelings by ending things but I honestly think that both of you are somewhat immature for making things official without actually meeting first. Maybe it was a moment of spontaneity for you, but clearly she's just very clingy and irrational. It makes me wonder what attracted you to her in the first place. You prefer more independent women and that's fine. Give yourself the opportunity to meet someone that's more independent then.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2021): Why didnt u figure this bfore?Why now?Or did she change all a sudden?
Iwont tell u what to do but should hve found out!
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (7 November 2021):
 Any advice? Yes, call off the meeting, thank her for her time and move on.
Even without meeting, you both have aspects of this ersatz relationship which frustrate and annoy you. Why try to force a square peg into a round hole? It will never fit. Even a week-end is going to seem excruciatingly long if you fall out or really rub each other up the wrong way (which sounds highly likely).
I am assuming you are a long way apart geographically, hence the long wait before meeting and the need to make the first real "date" last at least a week-end. Next time try to find someone who is located nearer to where you live so that you can meet up fairly quickly and the first date can be lunch, or even a cup of coffee.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2021): Run for the hills?
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