| Latest articles: Gifts
No replies yet... 4 April 2018: This article is prompted by a question about take out soup. The OP felt slighted by her Boyfriend's offering. The subject is deeply symbolic, and crucial to a major love language and an important emotional need. The "Is the size of the take out ...
An old Uncle muses
No replies yet... 30 March 2017: My style of posting has been going through some changes and I thought I should share what's going on and why these changes. I'm rapidly moving into empty nest. I have 2 Daughters still living at home and they are both looking for their on place. ...
10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the cur10 ways a guy can get himself kicked to the curbb
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
29 August 2014: Cindy wrote an excellent article:http://www.dearcupid.org/question/ten-best-ways-for-a-woman-to-be.html I felt that the article needed a counterpoint for the guys. I've sure read about a lot of guys mistakes and while I'm sure I will miss some, he...
Rejection
This question has 3 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
21 October 2013: I just commented on a post by a guy who had a long history of rejection. The post tickled my memory all the way back to Junior High School (12 years of age). I was rejected a lot. I've got to say that out of the 15 or so girls in my class 10 ...
Wanted: Unattached Male
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
22 October 2010: I stumbled onto a news article online that has got me thinking. It was so much like a question here on "Dear Cupid". The author had just been through a breakup and was Writing advice based on her experience. She entitled the article something ...
Confessions of an Agony Uncle
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
13 April 2009: On the 4th of November 2008 I signed up for a name and posted my first answer on this site. It was some quiet advice on career choices. Last night I posted my 100th. Just a bit of general advice on sex. In between I've gotten my ire up about ...
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One of my cats died and the other is missing it terribly...
Q. This is not a romance question but hoping that there might be some cat lovers and/or owners out there who can help. My eighteen year old cat was put to sleep today because of complications with kidney disease. My other seventeen year old who I have ...
A. 26 December 2008: Sirena,
Thanks for writing in. It is good to know there are other affectionate cats out there. I have often wondered if it was due to some childhood trama. Our tabby was a self rescue. He showed up in the dead of winter. Sat on the porch for a ... (read in full...)
I'm in love with 2 men - my hubby and a single womanizer who pursues me mightily.
Q. I'm in love with 2 men - my hubby and a single womanizer who pursues me mightily. Hubby has a low libido, womanizer is older but has an enormous libido. I've always known the womanizer would find someone else, and looked forward to that day. ...
A. 25 December 2008: I read a book bad boy by olivia goldsmith. It really opened my eyes to the whole phenominon. You are looking for excitement mostly. The affair its self was a source of risk/taboo that kept your interest. I suggest that you get a copy of Helen ... (read in full...)
One of my cats died and the other is missing it terribly...
Q. This is not a romance question but hoping that there might be some cat lovers and/or owners out there who can help. My eighteen year old cat was put to sleep today because of complications with kidney disease. My other seventeen year old who I have ...
A. 25 December 2008: 18 and 16 are fantastic ages for cats you must really take good care of them. I also had 2 cats, when the older siamese died of old age the younger tabby was quite depressed for some time. He refused to eat certain foods that were favorites of the ... (read in full...)
What do skinny girls have over fat girls? Need guys opinion
Q. hello ! Do Guys Actually Pay More Attention to Girls Looks ? 90% of men go for skinny girls with nice looks so guys answer one question what do skinny girls have what big girls dont ??...
A. 24 December 2008: Eyes,
Snicker, I do like having a lower center of gravity.
I read, way back when I was a teen, a beauty advice article. It recommended a 5 minute shower each day in tepid water. At that point I decided that girls who worry too much about l... (read in full...)
Regifting... Mamas boy? Does he even like me?
Q. I etched a portrait of my boyfriend for him. He framed it, however, before hanging it on his wall, he started entertaining the idea of giving it to his mother for Christmas, or, may be, for Mother's Day. Can someone tell me if this is a sign of ...
A. 24 December 2008: .is this a sign of being a mamma's boy or is it a sign of total disrespect for me?
Neither.
hauling out soap box
What happened here is a classic example of a female trait that has frustrated me for decades. I can't even put a name to it. ... (read in full...)
What do skinny girls have over fat girls? Need guys opinion
Q. hello ! Do Guys Actually Pay More Attention to Girls Looks ? 90% of men go for skinny girls with nice looks so guys answer one question what do skinny girls have what big girls dont ??...
A. 22 December 2008: What do skinny girls have that big girls don't?
1) snippy attitudes
2)Conceit
3)Self Confidence
only number 3 is attractive
While we are on the subject What do Tall Guys have that Short guys don't?
FA... (read in full...)
Is he justified in making my life hell because he 'loves' me?
Q. Well theres this guy I work with hes 30, I'm 19, was 18 at the time. He kinda manipulated me into a 'relationship', making me feel sorry for him, etc. He used to accuse me of sleeping with guys, having AIDs,go through my bag and my phone, he was ...
A. 22 December 2008: Little Missy your former relationship and your texting to him do not change the facts. I believe you have a very good case. The record of his texts will probably be helpful in getting the restrainig order. He is doing a very efective job of ... (read in full...)
Why won't he acknowledge me as his girlfriend?
Q. I have been going out with this awesome guy for near two years and we adore each other. He constantly tells me he misses me if we don't see each other for a few days, he makes me meals, he takes me to places I've never been before and he's ...
A. 22 December 2008: The answer to your question is that he is not willing to make a commitment to you. For whatever reason. If you know a good salesman you might ask him/her about "the commitment pattern" and think about how you can apply it to your relationship. At ... (read in full...)
He doesn't show his affection, am I doing something wrong? Just want to feel loved...
Q. Okay I've been coming to you guys for advice for time and a half and its always been great, so my predicament now is with.. my bf. Okay, him and I have been dating for about half a year now and I'm head over heels for him, and he says hes the same ...
A. 22 December 2008: Some people are more touchy than others. I've said it before guys are just a bit slow sometimes. You are going to have to tell him what you need. And train him to respond to your needs without prompting. This is going to move him out of his ... (read in full...)
Can you tell me if he likes me based on this?
Q. Can anyone give me thier opinion if the guy i like, likes me back or not. I've worked with him for about a year now. We are the youngest people in our department and hes always joking around with everyone else but when he sees me or talks to me he ...
A. 22 December 2008: Well you have known each other for a year and he hasn't so much as bought you a donut and coffee. That means one of two things, or both. 1) He's not verry interested in you. 2) He respects you enough not to get you involved in a relattionship at ... (read in full...)
Is he too short for me?
Q. i know it is kind of snobby to be picky about guys outer appearance, but i cant get over how short he is! i really like his personality and his looks, but he is way shorter than me. WAY. like i am 5'4 and he is 5'. i dont want to sound like a jerk, ...
A. 22 December 2008: As a guy, and a short one. If you snub him now, in a year or two when he is taller he will remember. And the same goes for you sophmore girls who like to date senior boys. Next year they will be gone and the boys in your class will remember how ... (read in full...)
Is he justified in making my life hell because he 'loves' me?
Q. Well theres this guy I work with hes 30, I'm 19, was 18 at the time. He kinda manipulated me into a 'relationship', making me feel sorry for him, etc. He used to accuse me of sleeping with guys, having AIDs,go through my bag and my phone, he was ...
A. 22 December 2008: ONE get legal help. In the states you could get a restraining order. Next he dosn't love you and probably never has. He just wants to own you, which is moraly ethically and legally WRONG. FA... (read in full...)
Can Men really change their faults?
Q. I have a question for the Men. If you found the right girl for you, could her love and support make you change to live up to your potential? Or should you accept them exactly the way you found them even though you know... and they know they cou...
A. 8 December 2008: At least 50% of a man's (or woman's)personality is due to their gender. You can't change that, and you probably don't want to. Another 30% comes from their upbringing and past experience. It's too late to change that. The remaining 15- 20 % are ... (read in full...)
Dieting!
Q. I just threw up everything I ate today. (i know because I saw what I ate for breakfast) and I'm gonna start being anorexic because I really need to lose weight. I'm 230 lbs and 5'3" I plan on being 200 lbs by my 16 birthday (in a mont...
A. 8 December 2008: Seriously, an eating disorder is not a good way to lose weight. First thing you should do is go see a doctor. Talk to the dr about your goals. then get a dietician or join weight watchers. I was lucky enough to be able to work with a dietician. ... (read in full...)
It's a question of age!
Q. Hey got a simple question. I just wanted to know whether its ok to date a guy say 5, 6, 7 years older than you?...
A. 5 December 2008: Ok so there is this ticklish legal issue here you are not allowed to have certain relationships across the 18 year old line. Aside from that there is no real concrete limit. I would say that a percentage of your age should be a guide line. Say ... (read in full...)
Suffering over his porn habit...
Q. I know there are many posts here with variations on this theme, but I'm just desperately searching for some insight and haven't yet found a situation similar enough to mine to bring me any comfort. I'm in a 3+ year relationship with a guy that ...
A. 5 December 2008: We seem to have this idea that because something is common it is good. I hear the same thing from alcoholics and marijuana addicts. Pornography is addictive to most men and many women. Your guy is suffering from a physical addiction. It is as ... (read in full...)
Fellas, how do you really feel about pretty 19 year old virgins?!?
Q. I'm a 19 year old virgin... take my word for it, its not because lack of offers.... I'm moving to Scotland and going to live on my own... I feel like an "adult" but I still haven't had sex, oral sex, I haven't been fingered or nothing! Every ti...
A. 2 December 2008: ----Old fashioned Dad type I'm proud of ya lass. Every thing Dr. Ryan said is true. And, may I add that a good sexual relationship is all about trust. Too many people rush into it. And social status is no reason to have a sexual relation.... (read in full...)
Does he like me? I feel like I need a manual to read this guy!!
Q. Hey everybody, thanks in advance for your opinions so i guess i wondering what is going on with this guy i am seeing... so he 10 years older, and we met through a mutual friend, we met mid september we hung out every weekend he was ho...
A. 2 December 2008: Anonymous writes: "...and i feel like i need a manual to communicate with guys." I've been thinking that would make a good article. In the mean time you are dealing with a significant age gap and a Long Distance Relationship. In the lack of a ... (read in full...)
If I meant so much to him, why did he leave?
Q. I am feeling terrible right now, possibly the worst I have ever felt. I am 27. I was going out with an amazing guy and he planned to go travelling before we got it together.I guess we were together about 6 mths but it was the best relationshi...
A. 26 November 2008: If this really is the best relationship you have ever had, you should grab onto it with both hands and never let go. A great relationship means that you can go to him with your problems and expect him to give you understanding and not ridicule. A ... (read in full...)
If he liked me enough, he would've called right?
Q. I've known this guy for about 3 years now but we're not great friends or anything (we used to stay in the same apartment block and our friends know each other). If anything i have a small crush on him but he always plays coy and we have never been ...
A. 26 November 2008: The problem here is that you are dealing with a "guy". We just don't think the way you do . Inevitably it gets us into this kind of hot water. You may want to think of most guys as being somewhat emotionally retarded. (we aren't really but our ... (read in full...)
Is our relationship healthy?
Q. ok well I'm 14 turning 15 on January 3rd...my bf is 15 turning 16 on December 2nd...we have been going out for about a year and three months now since August 28,2007 but i want to know if I'm in a healthy relationship...i mean he loves me for who ...
A. 26 November 2008: There are more definitions of a healthy relationship. If you don't like this advice you can always say that I am too old to understand your situation. But at your age you should be asking some of these questions when you decide if you are in a ... (read in full...)
Do I need to shave??????
Q. Ok so I have a bit of a personal question.. I'm concerned about whether or not I'm supposed to shave my vaginal area? My bf and I have been getting close, and he's tried several times to put his hand down/take off my pants and I haven't let him ...
A. 26 November 2008: From an older perspective, I think you might be missing the point. Sex is all about trust. If you are thinking that he is going to go tell all his friends how untidy you are not to have shaved Then you don't trust him enough to get naked with him. ... (read in full...)
Is it simply bad luck - or something else?
Q. My life is full of tragedies. Illness, divorce, financial crises, betrayal, losing home, losing job, and losing loved ones. Not any of my plans ever goes ,where I want it. I'm trying ,but no success. Yet I see , everybody around me,having a pretty n...
A. 25 November 2008: MammaMia I liked your reply I have been thinking about this post for a while and afraid to reply for fear that my reply might seem cruel. I believe you are right and that the original poster was getting very depressed and needs a better outlook. ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my parents that my sister was smoking
Q. I caught my sister (she's 12 and I'm 15) smoking with her friends (they were smoking too). My sister begged me not to anyone. My parents would kill her if they knew and me for not telling them first. I'm going feel bad if she gets heart cancer or ...
A. 25 November 2008: I think that it is wonderful That everyone is being so supportive of Maggi. This is very difficult for her because her little sister has not decided on her own to quit smoking. For some reason it is hard for teens to believe that bad things can ... (read in full...)
My friend was just diagnosed with diabetes. How can I help?
Q. not a relationship question as such, but a good friend of mine has just been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and i want to know how to be a good friend and support her through this tough time? any help appreciated. ...
A. 20 November 2008: Good advice everyone! I'm a diabetic (type 2)diagnosed about 4 years ago so I remember pretty well. Buy some splenda and keep it in your purse, also some peanuts and hard candy. Be very forgiving of unexplained mood swings. I read an article ... (read in full...)
Nothing I do helps... My boyfriend is addicted to games!!!
Q. To put it simply my boyfriend is addicted to games =,= and I love sex but usually after he's done going out with his buddies he's on his games UGHH! and he's so hot I can't resist.. and I've tried a lot of things, teasing him showing up naked even ...
A. 18 November 2008: I must confess right here at the start I'm a game addict too. And, you are right to call it an addiction. Game addiction can lead to more serious problems in the future. Some men abandon all their responsibilities, Job, family, relationships, and ... (read in full...)
During sex I like to be on top, but he likes to be in control... where is our happy medium?
Q. do guys prefer to be on top or for a girl to ride them? for me personally i like to be on top but he prefers to be in control how can we do both at the same time?...
A. 17 November 2008: I'm not sure I can answer this without blushing to death. Control has nothing to do with position. Personally I prefer her on top. It leaves my hands free, with plenty of access to all the fun parts. . . . . . . blush
FA... (read in full...)
How can I survive when my husband doesn't even look at me?
Q. My husband doesn't even look at me. I'm attractive, by and other's opinion. He does not smile at me, or want anything to do with me. I always have to initiate everything. Even a walk or just a bit of nice time together. He is always in a bad mood...
A. 17 November 2008: This sounds pretty serious. There are so many things that can affect the male libido and sexual response. This reminds me of some reading I did a while ago about "Irritable Male Syndrome", There is information on the web about it. It couldn't ... (read in full...)
I am just over 13 weeks pregnant and can't seem to come to terms with the prospect of being a single mum.
Q. I am just over 13 weeks pregnant and can't seem to come to terms with the prospect of being a single mum, but at the same time have already developed a bond with my baby and know that I couldn't bring myself to have it aborted. The father is ...
A. 12 November 2008: To those of you watching this thread with me: I want to apologize for my awful spelling and typing on that last post. Embarrassed I did it late at night. Anyway no offense taken, we all have different experiences and opinions. To help you all ... (read in full...)
I am just over 13 weeks pregnant and can't seem to come to terms with the prospect of being a single mum.
Q. I am just over 13 weeks pregnant and can't seem to come to terms with the prospect of being a single mum, but at the same time have already developed a bond with my baby and know that I couldn't bring myself to have it aborted. The father is ...
A. 12 November 2008: Wow guys can be such schmucks. First thiing get some counciling and secondly get some legal advice. The father (and I use that term very loosely here) is definatly out of bounds. It is good for you that you live in the UK there will be a lot of ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my parents that my sister was smoking
Q. I caught my sister (she's 12 and I'm 15) smoking with her friends (they were smoking too). My sister begged me not to anyone. My parents would kill her if they knew and me for not telling them first. I'm going feel bad if she gets heart cancer or ...
A. 12 November 2008: I'm so glad you found a way to get your parents involved. You really did the right thing. Yes your sister will get over it and sooner than you think. At your ages we tend to think that our friends are so very important. But what kind of real ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is being "off" with me... any ideas why?
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now and recently, he's been acting a little off. First off, his last relationship, which lasted 5 years, ended because his ex cheated on him with his best friend. So when I first hooked up with him, he ...
A. 10 November 2008: The someone else that he is into could possibly be a budding pornography addiction. He is certainly trying to hide something. That alone is unhealthy for your relationship. If you find that this is the case he will need professional help to break ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my parents that my sister was smoking
Q. I caught my sister (she's 12 and I'm 15) smoking with her friends (they were smoking too). My sister begged me not to anyone. My parents would kill her if they knew and me for not telling them first. I'm going feel bad if she gets heart cancer or ...
A. 10 November 2008: OK You know about the very real dangers of tobacco addiction and you have genuine concern for your sisters welfare. But you haven't done any thing because you are afraid of a fight with your sister. You also seem to bee worried about how your ... (read in full...)
I don't want to waste my time and get my hopes high only to find out she doesn't like me.
Q. Hi, I work with this girl that I am interested in and I think she likes me too. She and I flirt all the time when were together at work. Two weeks ago she even asked me for my cell number. So we exchanged numbers and all. After that would text each ...
A. 6 November 2008: Biologically speaking . . . . I'd say give her about a week with no pressure, just be nice, Then ask again. BTW You might try for a date that would involve more talking time than a movie.
FA... (read in full...)
My boyfriend and I decided to become a D/s couple -- but my career?...
Q. Hello. I've just moved out of my parents house, and am living on my own (with my boyfriend of 20 months) for the first time. It's been three months now. So we're both attending college, and I'm quite confused about my options, and life in ge...
A. 4 November 2008: If you will pardon my attempt to analyze you,I'll try to give you some advice. It appears to me that you are experimenting. Perfectly normal for your age. Enjoy it! but, be careful. (daddy speaking) You are also impatient and want to know it all ... (read in full...)
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