A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've known this guy for about 3 years now but we're not great friends or anything (we used to stay in the same apartment block and our friends know each other). If anything i have a small crush on him but he always plays coy and we have never been able to meet up alone as one of us always seems to be too busy or cancel. Well recently he texted me saying we should meet up but i was busy that day and suggested meeting in two days time and he texted back saying "we'll meet next week, Thursday, ok. bye"I didnt reply to that since i thought it was settled but the following Thursday i was waiting for his call or text to confirm if the date was still on but he didn't. Did he lose interest? if he liked me enough he would have called to confirm wouldnt he? what should i do or should i forget him? I know he wasn't busy as that night i actually saw him with his friends at a pub but he didn't see me.
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male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (26 November 2008):
 The problem here is that you are dealing with a "guy". We just don't think the way you do . Inevitably it gets us into this kind of hot water. You may want to think of most guys as being somewhat emotionally retarded. (we aren't really but our responses won't make sense to you) You do need to explain to him what he did wrong, if nothing else it will give the next girl a better chance.
FA
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 November 2008): Always reply. Guys sometimes think no answer means a "No".
Next time don't be affraid to confirm by yourself. You have the same right here as he does. You have a right to be informed of his actions. Never wait in situation like that.
Don't rush of calling him first or pursue him, they like the chase, just give it to them. But when it comes to dates, be sure you know what's going on. Even if you didn't reply to him, when Thursday came, and you don't here from him, you could text him his message and also yours saying that you want to be sure you guys are still on for Thursday.
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A
female
reader, Teacake +, writes (26 November 2008):
 I agree that you shouldn't have assumed it was settled, that you should have confirmed.... miscommunications. He probably assumed you blew him off?
Tell him about your mistake and ask that you hope all is well between the two of you. Don't make a big deal out of this. Be as upbeat and light-hearted as possible and also apologetic.
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A
female
reader, dearkelja +, writes (26 November 2008):
 I think he expected you to reply "ok". He was waiting for you to confirm this. No wonder the two of you can't get it together, your communication needs some work. When asking for a date, one should really talk person to person anyway so there is no confussion.
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