| A
age
30-35,
*
writes: I caught my sister (she's 12 and I'm 15) smoking with her friends (they were smoking too). My sister begged me not to anyone. My parents would kill her if they knew and me for not telling them first. I'm going feel bad if she gets heart cancer or something. Should I tell my parents? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice  +, writes (25 November 2008):
 I think that it is wonderful That everyone is being so supportive of Maggi. This is very difficult for her because her little sister has not decided on her own to quit smoking. For some reason it is hard for teens to believe that bad things can happen to them. Lung cancer is something that (at least in their minds) happens to old people or other people. The very sad thing that frequently happens with underage tobacco users is that tobacco acts as a gateway to more serious addictions. A 12 year old who smokes, frequently is using marijuana at 14 and meth before 18. Hang in there Maggi!FA
A
female
reader, vamp-gal  +, writes (21 November 2008):
 No way! You are not being controlling, you are being a great sister and saving her life. Doesn't she care? Doesn't she know that smoking can kill her? Damage her health? Sorry if I'm sounding harsh here, but you're doing all you can for her, and she's throwing it back in your face! She shouldn't be smoking, one. She's too young (not the worst of what's to come). Two. She could damage her heart, lungs and have asthma and health/breathing problems if she carrys on the way she is. Three. She could have a shorter life span. Now I know you know all of this, but does she? Does she know the risks to smoking?Sit her down, and have a talk with her. She needs to know what smoking can do to her, if she does know, you need to help her let it sink in, show her pictures of what could happen to her, that may make her stop. http://www.cancernet.co.uk/smoking.htm#10%20tips%20to%20quit: This is a website where, when she does decide to quit, this should help her.Hope everything works out for you. You are not being controlling, you are being a good sister.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI was babysiting my sister (my parents dont turst her anymore). I didnt really have a problem with it. She said needed fresh air so I let her go out but she had to stay close to the house. 15 mintunes later I went check on her and she was smoking a cigarette again with her friend who lives very close to us (the same one I saw at her middle school). This time I didnt that her friend there or not, when out grab the death stick stomp it to the ground and yelled at her and her friend. Then she call me a controlling bitch and went off with her bud. I immediately called my parents. Now she's grounded until christmas eve. I am being to controlling?
...............................
A
female
reader, vamp-gal +, writes (15 November 2008):
Good Job!!! I am really glad that your sister has someone like you, she really doesn't know how lucky she is!! Don't worry about her not talking to you, she'll thank you one day, as the person below said, in the long run, you have saved her life. I'm glad there are people like you out there who don't think smoking is 'cool' and do know it's basically a 'cancer stick'!!
Your sister will have a rough journey ahead of her, as you know, it's addictive, she'll always want one, maybe even years after. Make sure she doesn't go back, and help her along the way, she may need it. But by the sounds of things, you're already doing what any other loving, caring sister would do. Keep it up.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionIt was after school. My sister's middel school is close to my high school. When I saw she smoking again with her friend. When her friend left I came grab the cancer stick from her and stomp to the ground and called my mom and dad. Now shes grounded for a week. Shes not talking to me at all.
...............................
A
female
reader, vamp-gal +, writes (12 November 2008):
Glad you found a way to sort it out, smoking is dangerous and addictive, which makes it even more dangerous, but you have found a way to stop it, without having to tell them directly, which would probably be the most difficult thing. Either way, your sister is VERY lucky to have you as her sister, you look out for her, and this proves that you always will. She will have mood swings, but should hopefully get back to normal soon. She'll thank you one day, count on it :D
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (12 November 2008):
I'm so glad you found a way to get your parents involved. You really did the right thing. Yes your sister will get over it and sooner than you think. At your ages we tend to think that our friends are so very important. But what kind of real friend would get you addicted? Also teens and tweens are stormy years. This storm like so many others you will remember will blow over soon. You might find it helpful to look up information on addiction recovery and dealing with loss. FA
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMy parents caught my sis smoking now she's mad at me because they'll making her quit and also because she thinks I told them which I didn't but I did tell them to go to her hang out early and pick her up. She's having bad mood swings lately tho. will she get over it?
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008): You should definatley tell your parents. no question about it. its the best thing for your sister
...............................
A
male
reader, Fatherly Advice +, writes (10 November 2008):
OK You know about the very real dangers of tobacco addiction and you have genuine concern for your sisters welfare. But you haven't done any thing because you are afraid of a fight with your sister. You also seem to bee worried about how your parents will react. This is all about moral courage. Doing what you know is right even if you are scared. When you do tell your sister will probably say all kinds of hurtfull things to you. It will help if you remind yourself at those times that you did what you did because you love your sister. And rember that she will be under a grreat deal of stress due to her own bbad decisions. One more thing' If you feel that there is a real physical danger to you or to your sister then you may want tto talk to anothe adult like a school councelor or church leader. FA
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008): I think:
If you trust your sister and you believe she wont smoke again just keep it to yourself, she is young and could just be experimenting.
However, if smoking or any other substance abuse is problem for your sister, you should tell your parents. Sometimes kids get into the wrong things from peer pressure and other issues. If your sister has a problem she needs help. You would only be going to your parents because you care about and love your sister, there is nothing wrong with that.
...............................
A
female
reader, jinxx  +, writes (10 November 2008):
 Yes.
I wish every day that I could turn back time and not smoke that first cigarette... but I can't. You have the opportunity to stop her while she's still in the process of starting.. and that's something she'll thank you for later, believe me.
You sound like a really good sister, and although she'll be mad at you if you tell your parents, she's really really lucky to have you!
...............................
|
