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My boyfriend is being "off" with me... any ideas why?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 November 2008) 6 Answers - (Newest, 10 November 2008)
A female United States age 41-50, *N2Be writes:

I've been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now and recently, he's been acting a little off. First off, his last relationship, which lasted 5 years, ended because his ex cheated on him with his best friend. So when I first hooked up with him, he vowed he'd never hurt anyone the way he was hurt by his ex. He hates those that cheat and he promised that he would never cheat on me. Last week, he got an i-phone and I noticed that he's always hiding his phone. On top of that, he wasn't "up" for sex one time and when he was, he couldn't "finish." Maybe he's not cheating, but is he losing his love for me?

View related questions: best friend, his ex

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A female reader, RN2Be United States +, writes (10 November 2008):

RN2Be is verified as being by the original poster of the question

He's definitely not harboring a porn addiction. I know where he keeps all of his porn. In fact, I encourage it while we're apart AND together. I think I'm going to go with the idea of him being stressed at work. He probably just isn't ready to tell me what's on his mind. He did express a lot of love this morning with morning kisses and telling me he loves me.

Thank you all for your advice, ideas and comments. I appreciate every bit of it!

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A female reader, Miss Potter United Kingdom +, writes (10 November 2008):

Miss Potter agony auntWell its unlikely that he has deleted everything... Was the inbox completely empty? If yes then probably he has deleted the history if not then there probably wasnt anything going on.

Maybe he is just stressed? Is everything ok in work? Maybe hes just bored.

Try to be supportive and maybe he will soon end up telling u whats up?

It could be pornography i agree with previous poster but that depends on whats ur attitude towards it? For example im cool with porno so my boyfriend doesnt hide it from me, i dont know whats teh case with you two...

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A female reader, RN2Be United States +, writes (10 November 2008):

RN2Be is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I got a hold of his iphone and I couldn't find anything incriminating in his inbox. I even searched his facebook and his text messages. Perhaps they're all deleted?

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A male reader, Fatherly Advice United States +, writes (10 November 2008):

Fatherly Advice agony auntThe someone else that he is into could possibly be a budding pornography addiction. He is certainly trying to hide something. That alone is unhealthy for your relationship. If you find that this is the case he will need professional help to break the addiction. There are other things that could affect his sexual performance. If you don't find the cause consulting a dr may be in order. FA

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2008):

I agree with miss potter. get ahold of his phone when he is in the shower and you may find your answer there.

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A female reader, Miss Potter United Kingdom +, writes (10 November 2008):

Miss Potter agony auntId try to get hold of his ipod when hes not around that should answer your question quicker than he will get the courage to tell you that hes into someone else if thats the case.

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