My girlfriend likes it rough, but I don't. How do I get her to tone it down?
Q. I've been seeing my girlfriend for close to 3 months now. We enjoy being with each other and have now started to be intimate with each other. However, lately I feel she's being a little too sexually agressive for my taste. The kissing, hugging...
A. 5 January 2009: I'm not into the whole sitting down and having a discussion. I think it'll get a bit humiliating.
Why not just tell her when you don't like something? When she does something in public then just pull her to one side and tell her you REALLY d... (read in full...)
How to stop an attraction with a co-worker
Q. How do I stop being attracted to a co-worker? Recently a co-worker and I were out of town on business. Nothing happened, but we discovered that we both have a strong attraction to each other and really enjoy each other's company. We are both ...
A. 5 January 2009: The other 2 people are just getting moral at you and I think you know that this is wrong already. That's why you came here!!
You've asked for techniques so I will try and help.
Think of it like a crush. The kind you had when you were 10. Try... (read in full...)
My dad won't let me be an auto mechanic
Q. Im really into cars (and sports) and I think might be a auto mechanic when I finish high school but my dad and most of my family (mainly guys) thinks its not "lady like" (thats a nice way to put it). My dad won't let me a auto mechanic course at my ...
A. 5 January 2009: Well just tell your dad that since you can't be a mechanic you will do a girls job and be a dancer.
Then start asking him to give you lifts to local strip joints as you have an interview.
Car mechanic courses may suddenly seem a lot more attra... (read in full...)
Broke up, wants my things back, afraid of him getting abusive
Q. So after a 5 year relationship, Ive decided to call it quits with my B/f. I'm really confused and feeling very nervous. After a horrible NYE party by now x-bf became very verbally and borderline phy. abusive. He doesent remember a thing and what ...
A. 5 January 2009: Have you not got any friends or family members you can send round for your stuff?
Ring him up and ask him to get it ready and see if he is willing to let you come round and get it. If he gets nasty over the phone you can hang up and find someone ... (read in full...)
Am I a friend? more? He calls me buddy
Q. Is he just being polite or is just taking things slow and is interested in me? We go out, we call each other back and forth just to talk, and text. He never mentions his past relationships, nor do I ask. But on these (2) dates he hasn't made a mo...
A. 5 January 2009: Sounds like you've both made it clear that neither of you are ready for a relationship so he's just seeing you as a mate.
I'm not saying at some point that he won't see you as something more.
If you aren't the type of girl to try and make a m... (read in full...)
How do I get school to remove bad record?
Q. When i was in grade 7, I made out wit my bf and the principal caught us. [looool. xD] NOW im worried if it'll b in my permanent record, im a straight A student and bcuz im asian my parents r strict, im not allowed bf's. (until im 20 =.=) im scare...
A. 5 January 2009: Go and talk to someone senior in the school.
Ask to speak to them in confidence and ask them what it says on your record. Ask them why you aren't on the scolarship programme and what you need to do to be considered.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
Good idea? I put condom on a banana and used it
Q. Dear cupid, Am i a freak? I was sitting in my room bored with nothing to do. It was a guy friend texting me telling me all these freaky toughts he was having about me. While later on that night I was kind of horny. So i went and got a banana a...
A. 5 January 2009: Sounds fine to me.
It's exactly the same as using a dildo.
You used a condom so it was hygienic.
No problems!
Just don't ever try peeling it first.
Good Luck!! xx
... (read in full...)
Is 33 years plus old over the hill???
Q. Is 33 years plus old over the hill truthfully Because I feel its is... your youth is gone......
A. 4 January 2009: Go and buy yourself the sex in the city box set and get stuck in.
At 30 you can have the life you want rather than just the one you can scrape together.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
Does taking speed and drugs stop a guy from getting a hard on?
Q. Does taking speed and drugs stop a guy from getting a hard on?...
A. 4 January 2009: Well since most drugs are 30% pure and 70% who the hell knows, you could have swallowed anything so it's not surprising you can't get it up.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
How do I deal with his "hobby"?
Q. Thank you to everyone who responded to my question here: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-husband-is-storing-up-so-much-timber.html With regard to Gina's answer, I did try to get him to sit down and talk, but he just stomped off, and went ou...
A. 4 January 2009: I think you need to take firm action on this now.
Take the kids and move out. Tell him you won't come back until some of the wood is gone or you see some use for it.
You have to shock him into at least talking about it.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
I seem to have much more sex drive than my boyfriend and wanting sex more than he does.
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years and ever since we've been together, I seem to have much more sex drive than him and wanting sex more than he does. We have been together on and off and when I've told him how I feel he says the fact that ...
A. 4 January 2009: It's normal for some guys. My ex just didn't want sex unless he was in the specific mood for it and then I couldn't try and look sexy or that would ruin it for him.
He just wasn't a sexual person.
At the time I thought it was me and was incre... (read in full...)
How can I get him to lighten up and feel more comfortable during sex?
Q. Been going out with my boyfriend for the last couple of months and we started sleeping together just before Christmas. Everything has been going fine but I'm finding my boyfriend is a bit reserved sexually. He doesn't want to try new things. It's ...
A. 3 January 2009: Well you're basically saying that after 2 weeks having sex with him, you're already bored with what he can do.
Give the poor guy a chance. Let him get his confidence and act a little more crazy... bring the ideas in slowly.
He'll loosen ... (read in full...)
How can I make my penis get bigger and longer without pills?
Q. i am about 6in right now. how do i make my penis bigger and longer without taking pills? ...
A. 3 January 2009: 6 inches is plenty, just learn how to use it properly and you'll be fine.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
Will my girlfriend forgive me for accidentally standing up her parents?
Q. My girlfriend got really pissed off at me because I stood up her at her parents (I suppose met them) and I made her look stupid (that what she says). For some reason I thought it was next week. Shes also mad because she call me like 20 times that ...
A. 3 January 2009: She may she may not.
You should start by calling her parents to apologise to them for standing them up.
Then you should get you room mate to email or text your girlfriend to apologise for being such a twat.
Then you need to go round to see ... (read in full...)
He's upset because I took the morning after pill!
Q. I took some emergency contraception pills yesterday after unprotected sex with my boyfriend. I told him that i need to take them and he sounded like he understood. Last night when i was talking to him again, he mentioned that he didn't really like ...
A. 3 January 2009: Tell him that every time he masturbates he is killing possible babies, and that if he feels that way then he should not have sex with you again until you are both married and ready to have a child.
What you took was contraception.
If he is not ... (read in full...)
Although I enjoyed his interest I'm not sure I want to meet him, as I am committed, so what should I answer him?
Q. Dear aunts and uncles I'm with my boyfriend for 4 years. We had some problems the last few month, but know, we want to stay together and may go further. At the beginning of our problems in October, I went to a advanced training course, where I ...
A. 3 January 2009: You know if you meet him you will be tempted to cheat, or will give him the message that you are available.
Text him back that you are spending this evening with your boyfriend.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
I can't find that special person and won't waste a kiss on someone else, am I normal?
Q. I have been told I'm romantic and an amazing catch,but no girls ever take interest in me. I'm 5'8 and weight around 160 pounds.I'm not interested in random hookups to which I've been called gay because of it. I want my first kiss as well as ev...
A. 3 January 2009: You are mature for your age, and hanging around a bunch of teenagers. They are going to call you stupid names.
Deal with it and life will get better when they grow up.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
He is asking me for no strings sex, what should I answer him?
Q. This guy is with me since 2 years ago. We have kissed and caressed each other. He is asking me for sex, but without love and emotions. On New year eve he called me up and again asked me for sexual relations. I said him that i love him, and i also ...
A. 3 January 2009: You don't need to reply.
You have stated that you don't have casual sex because you are a Lady, and he has said ok that's great, well done on that.
He's told you what he wants, you've told him what you want, he's agreed to disagree.
Mov... (read in full...)
I'd do anything to find a girlfriend, what should I do?
Q. Hi here is my question I'll do anything to get a girlfriend, iv run 18 miles with flowers to see them, for them to turn me down and not even talk to me. I take 3 hours on a train just to see them, i take them for nice walks, i hold there hand...
A. 3 January 2009: Hi again.
You've had a girlfriend. You've said so in previous questions. The fact it didn't work out isn't the end of the world.
You are very young so I know it's hard but seriously, don't worry about things like this. There are bigger thing... (read in full...)
Does watching lesbian porn means I'm lesbian? I've never been attracted to girls!
Q. Dear ppl, Lately I've been thinking about my sexual orientation. I used to watch porn and I stopped because I hated it and I felt disgusted every time I do it. I watched lesbian porn and I felt sth during watching it but I HATED it afterwards and I...
A. 3 January 2009: Why are you watching porn. You aren't old enough and you say you don;t enjoy it so why do it?
Your question seems to be "If I watch a film about giraffes and don't enjoy it, am I a giraffe?"
If you aren't attracted to girls then you are not... (read in full...)
I am pregnant and my partner masturbates to teen porn, what do you think?
Q. I am pregnant and my husband has been telling me to go have sleeps coz I am so tired (which I thought was sweet) but Ive just found out he has been jacking off to teenage porn on line and just trying to get rid of me! I feel so disgusting its ...
A. 3 January 2009: I think if it was my hubbie doing this I would be pissed off. But it wouldn't matter if I was pregnant or not, I just would hate the thought of it full stop.
Having said that, some women are fine with their men looking at porn.
I take it you... (read in full...)
Do men like virgins?
Q. Do men like virgins?...
A. 3 January 2009: Some men do some men don't.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
My b/f now wants to be FWB
Q. my boyfriend of 1 and half years, told me that he wanted to be just friends with benefits, i agreed as i still love him, and it was a way for me still to see him. i cannot bare the thought of not seeing him, and i am hoping that he realizes ...
A. 3 January 2009: I hate when men do this. They want to break up with a girl but still want to use them for easy sex.
Either that or he wants to be with you but wants to sleep with lots of other girls and this is basically a guilt free way of cheating on you, even... (read in full...)
He wants me to change my PROFESSIONAL name after marriage and I don't want to
Q. Hello all, I have been in a relationship my boyfriend for 2 years and have run into some problems. We have discussed our future many times, trying to sort things to make our relationship work into a marriage, but I have some issues with what...
A. 3 January 2009: This is the kind of issue that women have fought for years to get a choice in.
I have taken my husband's name on my bank account and socially but at work I still use my maiden name so I think that is a good compromise.
As for children, that i... (read in full...)
Is it ok that I'm pissed off at her about this?
Q. My gf and I have been going out for 5 months but lately weve become distant and Ive talked to her about breaking up but she desperatley wants to keep going with it. So a couple of days ago her mom dropped her off at my house to stay for about 12 ...
A. 3 January 2009: It says you are 22 but I'm guessing you are much younger.
Yes you have a right to be hurt, she has acted insensitively.
Talk to her again about it and point out that she said she would make more effort and she just hasn't. If you want to brea... (read in full...)
Is he just messing with me or still cares in a weird way?
Q. hey i recently got dumped by the love of my life he was my everything he made me feel like i was his everything he told me i was the one and stuff .. throughout our year and a half relationship i felt really close and trusted him with my life .. ...
A. 3 January 2009: He probably still finds you attractive on one level.
You as a woman won't stop being beautiful because he doesn't want to be with you.
But he's made himself clear and he's been heartless in dumping you.
You seem very bitter about how much mo... (read in full...)
Period cramp.
Q. My friend has her period and when she usually has it she doesn't usually have cramps but she has been complaining that her stomach has been killing her for the past 3 days. She took pills but it's still killing her.. What should she do?......
A. 3 January 2009: If it is unusual abdominal pain then see a doctor.
Better to be told it's just cramps and to go home and use a heat pad than be taken to hospital with a ruptured appendix in 3 more days.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
Me and my bf were having sex yesterday and the condom broke without us realising and he came inside me.
Q. Me and my bf were having sex yesterday and the condom broke without us realising and he came inside me. As it was New Year's Day, none of the chemist's were open but we went to the hospital and managed to get the morning after pill and I took it ...
A. 3 January 2009: If he came inside you then the sperm will take a little while to come out. That's why condoms are so great, you don't have to deal with smelly sperm the day or two after.
You can take the morning after pill upto 3 days after and it's basicall... (read in full...)
Does she want to be friends with benefits?
Q. Me and this very close female friend go to different uni's. I went to meet her and was staying the night. There's only one room and was only one bed. I wondered where I would sleep. Later on she said that we can both sleep on the bed, she doesn't ...
A. 3 January 2009: You say you are not the only one she does this to, and to me that suggests that she is just comfortable with her body and sees you like a brother.
I have male friends that I would NEVER want to be with sexually but think nothing of cuddling... (read in full...)
How do I help this funny guy?
Q. I don't know how best to explain this, but I'll do my best... I have this acquaintance/friend that I've known for quite some time now (about three years) and he's known to all of his friends and the entire high school we graduated from as the "Fun...
A. 3 January 2009: If he's cutting himself when he can't get food then this is about FAR more than low self esteem. He has SERIOUS issues with food, and you need to get him to seek professional help. You want to help him but you have to accept that you can only go so ... (read in full...)
Do I accept that its over?
Q. My fiance broke off our engagement on NYE after spending that evening with me on a date. Prior to this we had been arguing for about a week about some personal problems he was going through and his need to seek some professional help. He decided on ...
A. 3 January 2009: Well if you love him then you should try to stay with him. It'll be hard but I think you'll be more than friends in a lot of ways so it should be doable.
If you think that this is just a sign of things to come and that you can't handle it, or t... (read in full...)
Should a married person hug their ex?
Q. i feel really annoyed with my husband because he hugged his exgirlfriend and did'nt come over and say this is my wife her name is**** but turned and hugged her back just like they're old friends. Question should a married person go up and hug their ...
A. 2 January 2009: In my opinion this is fine.
He's quite obviously married, you were stood right there, he hugged her like a friend because she probably is a friend on some level. The obviously don't hate each other.
He hugged a female friend in front of you. I'... (read in full...)
Are my friends cutting me out?
Q. I am 21 years old and I feel like all my friendships are falling apart. I was diagnosed with anxiety when I was 15, I decided to stay home after graduating high school and go to a community college here, while my friends went off to other schools. ...
A. 2 January 2009: What happens when you text her and ask her if she wants to hang out? What happens when you call her?
You can tell a lot from her reactions and how she tells you she can't meet up.
Call up and ask her if she wants to do something, if sh... (read in full...)
What should I do about her not talking to me?
Q. My girlfriend is to allergic nuts. One day randomly bumped into her. She lean in to kiss me but I couldn't let her because I had nuts that day and not being aure what her reaction would be. She got upset and before I could explain, she got out of my ...
A. 2 January 2009: Wow, she over reacted a bit there.
If you texted her and just told her that you'd been munching on nuts so you couldn't kiss her and she still hasn't been in touch then I think she has more problems with you than just that kiss.
Text her and ... (read in full...)
Why would you tell a girl that you still smile at her pictures?
Q. if you told a girl (that you were seeing, now friends) that you still smile at her pictures and they are very cute.... - what would be your reasons for saying it? just for the sake of it? for a nice comment? telling her you still feel more? no ...
A. 2 January 2009: Blokes say these things and it doesn't mean anything, it just means he has fond memories or he still finds you pretty sometimes.
They just say what comes into their heads at the time and then we girls try to analyse it.
If he wants you back t... (read in full...)
Any ideas on how to start a cash business?
Q. I dont have a relationship question, i would just like to know would it be possible to start a cash business and earn 10K a month from that? Also what kind of a cash business would be the best start? Anything right now will be worth the effort!...
A. 2 January 2009: It depends entirely on what are you live in.
There is no point us telling you to open an internet cafe if you live in an area full of old people, and no point telling you to sell stairlifts if you live in an area full of students.
Look around a... (read in full...)
Does this mean he still cares?
Q. Well my ex broke up with me a few months ago 4 some 1 he claims he's in love with. And we agreed 2 stop talking he Instant messaged me saying happy new year should I talk 2 him? Does this mean hee still cares? ...
A. 2 January 2009: If he spoke to you then you can speak back. But please don't see this as a sign he likes you or anything like that.
We say Happy New Year to everyone, it doesn't mean anything.
If you are still not over him and it sounds like you are not then... (read in full...)
I am told I'm a failure and a stalker, what can I do to change their opinions?
Q. Well, heres the story, my whole high school life so far, ive gotten no where in regards to relationships. I am constantly rejected, constantly told that im a failure, and constantly told that i am a creeper and a stalker. I have eased up on it a lo...
A. 2 January 2009: You haven't told us what you did to get called a stalker.
You just need to keep on the straight and narrow. Don't do anything around girls that could be mistaken for dodgy behaviour.
If it is your behaviour around one girl that caused all this ... (read in full...)
We agreed that the only way to stay together is to have a baby... should we do it??
Q. ok ummm im 13 and my gf is 17 weve been together for nearly a year and i love her with all my heart ........do you think that its a big age diffrence for us? also her parents hate me so much! i cant talk to her anymore kuz they caught us having ...
A. 2 January 2009: Wow, that is such a selfish attitude!
You are going to bring a baby into a teenage relationship to underage parents whose grandparents will always see it as a problem. You are going to ruin her chances at life AND your own, just so you can be t... (read in full...)
How do I tell him I want more passion and intimacy without hurting his feelings?
Q. Been with my boyfriend now for nearly 2 years only see him on occasions as we live a distance away from each other. When we do get together i find i'm always the one making the first move, my past relationship was passionate so i miss the intimacy. ...
A. 1 January 2009: I think you need to be honest here, but do it as tactfull as you can.
Rather than saying "you are not doing this and I want you to." why not just ask him if everything is ok between you. Tell him you've noticed that he doesn't seem that into you... (read in full...)
Am I making myself sick fearing pregnancy? Should I have started spotting by now?
Q. Okay, to start off i'm 16 and EXTREMELY paranoid. i tend to over-think, over analyze, and worry way too much. I recently became sexually active with my boyfriend and the other night while we were having sex (December 27th, 2008) the condom popped. ...
A. 1 January 2009: The morning after pill is basically a huge bundle of hormones that goes through your body destroying your natural processes and stopping anything down there from working normally.
This means that it is entirely normal for your periods to be affec... (read in full...)
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