A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:So after a 5 year relationship, Ive decided to call it quits with my B/f. I'm really confused and feeling very nervous. After a horrible NYE party by now x-bf became very verbally and borderline phy. abusive. He doesent remember a thing and what he does remember he instist it was my fault. As we returned home from our trip I calmly said I'm going to go visit family and just walked out. So make a long story short, I texed him with "I'm done with this relationship" ... I know texting- very cowardly of myself. How do I go about getting my things back or should I ride it good bye? I'm scared of his temper and overall reaction to me... How should I move forward? PS I'm 25 he's 31. ???
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for the great advice! I was able to get some things back and decided to just avoid the situation. I just look at it as another reason for shopping! Gotta stay positive :)
A
male
reader, roadman  +, writes (5 January 2009):
 Go with the police is good advice..
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A
male
reader, Griffo  +, writes (5 January 2009):
 Firstly its a myth that someone cant remember anything at all he'd have to be pretty legless and unable to walk or move to be at that state, he's just playing dumb. its an oldies trick used alot in the 80's as a tool for sleeping around. dosent work anymore!!!
With your things id go over with a couple of good bloke mates that will help you out he'll have no chance of playing dumb and being abusive again... just pop around with them and let him know you just want to get your things and then you will go. if this does not work then call the police and ask their advice, in some places around the world cops can help but depends on your laws.
Thirdly, you could get a court order and ask him to come on "Judge judy" or something it would be a good laugh for you and he would kinda hopefully be embarrassed about being on there. hopefully he will give you the stuff back.
Lastly, yeah if its nothing worth worrying about too much then you can just write it all off and move on... He will be in regret keeping it all anyway because it will continuously remind him how dumb he was for doing the things he did to you.
Either way you win :)
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (5 January 2009):
Have you not got any friends or family members you can send round for your stuff?
Ring him up and ask him to get it ready and see if he is willing to let you come round and get it. If he gets nasty over the phone you can hang up and find someone else to get it for you.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, pinkey1981 +, writes (5 January 2009):
You should talk to him first and get some communication down. Tell him its surely over and that you need to get your things. If you feel anyway uncomfortable call the local police and see if they will help you get your things. Alot of times you can tell them your afraid he may get abusive and they may escort you to get your things. Its gonna be an uncomfortable situation either way, but dont just write your stuff off as being lost, its your stuff and it shouldnt be held hostage.
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