A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am pregnant and my husband has been telling me to go have sleeps coz I am so tired (which I thought was sweet) but Ive just found out he has been jacking off to teenage porn on line and just trying to get rid of me! I feel so disgusting its happening in the next room!He says I am over reacting coz I'm emotional what does everyone else think?
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male
reader, dasonras  +, writes (3 January 2009):
Don't react too harshly! And be sure that you are not jumping to conclusions deeming it "kiddy porn." As long as he is not looking at illegal pornography or engaging in unsafe/immoral sexual practices, you should not be so angry.
In fact, I can almost assure you that he has been looking at porn and masturbating to it long before you were pregnant. You might have never noticed because you were never in such a suspicious state. I guarantee you that all men will masturbate even if they have beautiful, sexually willing wives/girlfriends. It is entirely natural and entirely normal.
He is not rejecting you per se. It may be a very difficult adjustment for him emotionally and psychologically with you being pregnant. It is not always a physical attraction issue but a strange mix of emotional factors that he might be having difficult dealing with.
You need to be open and clear with him exactly why it hurts your feelings. DO NOT get angry and force him to stop. This will only antagonize the issue. If you have a healthy relationship he should be able to understand and respect your feelings. Playing guessing games will not work. Each of you need to confide.
Beyond that, there are many resources for dealing with sexual lifestyles when pregnant which I suggest you two research together.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 January 2009): That is disgusting talk to him and tell him that he has acted wrongly and you are carrying his future line!
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A
female
reader, Sangoma  +, writes (3 January 2009):
 Aikona, I will be very cross. He wants to look at women then he must look, but young gitls, aikona, it is like raping that child in his mind. No, I will talk to him and tell him how ai feel. You need to COMMUNICAT. YOU cannot get upset and keep quiet, not good for you or the baby. He is naughty, tell him , not good, look at grown ups. His mind is not at the right place looking at kids, aikon. You must tell him it makes you feel bad and it hurts and it makes you worried. Good luck with your bambino!
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A
male
reader, MichaelS2 +, writes (3 January 2009):
 I'm 18 but I'll try to give the best input possible.
I honestly think Pregnant women are extremely attractive,and if it were me I would rather be with you even if we weren't having sex,than be with a computer.I am a Virgin but that's beside the point.
You have every right to be upset but it's probably best you talk to him about it.Tell him how you feel about it and why it irritates you.
As for the porn as long as it's not child porn or something of that nature than there really isn't anything wrong...
But if I were you I'd be upset that he would rather be with a computer over me.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (3 January 2009):
I think if it was my hubbie doing this I would be pissed off. But it wouldn't matter if I was pregnant or not, I just would hate the thought of it full stop.
Having said that, some women are fine with their men looking at porn.
I take it your sex life is still ok?
What is bothering you about this, is it that he was looking at younger women? That he was looking at porn? Or that he was doing it sneakily? Is it the fact he did it when you are pregnant? Would you be annoyed if you weren't?
Work out what your problem is with it specifically and then work out if you can deal with it.
Good Luck!! xx
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