A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:How do I stop being attracted to a co-worker? Recently a co-worker and I were out of town on business. Nothing happened, but we discovered that we both have a strong attraction to each other and really enjoy each other's company. We are both married and neither of us want's to go down the road of "cheating" or hurting our spouses. We both know that this attraction cannot go anywhere. How do we stop the attraction? Techniques?
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (5 January 2009):
The other 2 people are just getting moral at you and I think you know that this is wrong already. That's why you came here!!
You've asked for techniques so I will try and help.
Think of it like a crush. The kind you had when you were 10. Try and trivialise it in your mind. If you try to deny it and make it "bad" then it'll be there tempting you.
If you accept that it's there but just treat it like a silly hormonal thing then you might be able to get it out of your head.
Also, although you really get on well as friends it might be (sadly) a good idea to just cut contact down to the absolute minimum for now.
Go home and go one a romantic night out with your husband and really try to kiss him more etc, to remind yourself of why you married him and how strongly you felt when you said "I do."
Good Luck!! xx
A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (5 January 2009):
 Each minute the two of you spend together invites temptation. Can each of you respect the boundary you claim you will not cross? The pressure (and sexual tension) is going to be immense, and while you may not have a physical affair, it's entirely possible that each of you is being unfaithful to your spouse on an emotional level. If you cannot be up front with your spouse about an interaction with this other man (e.g. not revealing a lunch date, personal phone calls, emails, or text messages), then the two of you have already stepped off the cliff and are engaging in an emotional affair.
You are in a stage where you have the opportunity to reflect on the consequences of your choices. One of those consequences is the failure of your marriage. If you are not prepared for failure then what will you do to put a stop to this inappropriate behaviour?
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A
female
reader, huneygyrl +, writes (5 January 2009):
 Two grown people, both are married and know what's right from wrong.
Ask for a transfer and/or work with someone else. This can effect your work and of course, your marriage.
I believe you know what to do, it's a matter of taking action.
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