Can I really be with someone that I can't rely on?
Q. My boyfriend and I split up after a very happy 2 years together. We split up because I felt I couldn't rely on him and after 2 months of being apart he wants to get back together. Splitting up with him was a very hard thing to do but I felt I had ...
A. 9 January 2009: So you said you couldn't rely on him enough to commit, and his solution is to ask for more commitment without solving any of the problems first?
Riiiiiiiiiiiight.
If you want him back tell him that he cannot move in with you, you will NOT try... (read in full...)
What is the best way to go to win someone back?
Q. Hello, I'm after some general advice, if you want to win someone back, is confessing your love to them a good way to go about it or are there other alternatives? Thank you for all your advice in advance! X...
A. 9 January 2009: Completely depends on the circumstances.
If you got dumped for moving too fast then saying you love them is the last thing you should do.
If you got dumped for refusing to commit when they wanted more than just sex then it's a good way.
Giv... (read in full...)
How do you make someone leave your house when the relationship is over?
Q. My Fiancee is stealing my pain medication and lying to me about it. We have been together for 5 years and have planned on getting married soon. I't doesn't matter how well I lock my my pills up or hide them she always finds them and lies about ...
A. 9 January 2009: Call the police and tell them that there is a woman in your house that is refusing to leave.
Either that or throw one of your pills out of the door and then bolt it shut when she goes after it.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
I know she's lying, how do I handle it?
Q. My girlfriend is insisting she does not talk to this certain ex-boyfriend of hers. She said they haven't talked in a LONG time. She said this earlier today. Now, I know that is a total lie, that they had an AIM conversation two days ago and tal...
A. 8 January 2009: I think this is a case of a vicious circle.
She's probably telling you a white lie because she's picked up on the fact that you are paranoid about these things and thinks that if she told you she'd been chatting to her ex about his new cat that... (read in full...)
I don't think I can forgive and forget his stag night to the strip club!
Q. I know I am not the first female in the world to have an issue with strip clubs but my boyfriend lied to me for 6 months and I had to force the truth out of him before he confessed to going to one on a stag night. I told him from the outset of our ...
A. 8 January 2009: I think the big factor in this is whether he voluntarily paid for a lap dance or not.
If he went to the club because everyone else did but sat by the bar and did nothing then I think you could cut him a bit of slack and although you don't like the... (read in full...)
His g/f works 3rd shift, he's got another woman
Q. hey aunts...i need you to help me decifer something...my friend and i are trying to understand why his girlfriend continues to work a 3rd shift job. she has worked on and off 3rd shift for almost 10yrs. he is very upset at the fact that she does ...
A. 8 January 2009: Why should she change her job if she is happy there?
And why is it acceptable for him to cheat on her?
If he's not happy in the relationship then he can end it and be free to go off with another woman.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is a BBW, how should I have sex with her?
Q. So i need a little help. I have a girlfriend who i love and adore. We have been together for about 3 months We went to have sex soon, but im not sure how to go about it. My girlfriend is BBW. I need some advice on how to go about having sex with ...
A. 8 January 2009: Run her down with a lassoe...
How is having sex with her going to be different to any other woman?????
I think you have a problem with her that you are either not telling us or you haven't realised.
Being fat doesn't make her a different spe... (read in full...)
Should I go out with my online long distance girl?
Q. im 14 and i met a girl on msn and iv been talking to her 4 a few months and we are sort of going out on line like but she lives in London and i live in Bilston and she said she wants to meet me but i dont think i should and if i do i think i should...
A. 8 January 2009: It should be good as long as you take your big brother and she brings an adult as well.
You are a bit young to be travelling long distances to strange cities alone anyway.
Meet in a public place and stay in public places for your day togethe... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has just found out that he is father to a 3 month old baby!!!!
Q. Hi everyone, I've been with my boyfriend 6 months and he has just found out that he is father to a 3 month old baby. He had a brief fling with the mother last april and stupidly they were careless and ahd unprotected sex. The baby was born 3 ...
A. 8 January 2009: You say he is the first guy to treat you properly...
Hun there are several million other men in this country who could treat you the same or better.
Just because he hasn't been horrible or smacked you about, it doesn't mean you should stay with... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has just found out that he is father to a 3 month old baby!!!!
Q. Hi everyone, I've been with my boyfriend 6 months and he has just found out that he is father to a 3 month old baby. He had a brief fling with the mother last april and stupidly they were careless and ahd unprotected sex. The baby was born 3 ...
A. 8 January 2009: The whole baby thing is a big enough shock but for him to then turn round and tell you he's MARRIED sends up a big red flag for me.
Yes you may have feelings for this guy but do you think they are strong enough to cope with the massive amount o... (read in full...)
Sexy Time?
Q. Hey, I have been on a weeks course of antibiotics, 4 250mg ones a day, and I stop taking them tomorrow. I am going to my boyfriends on Sunday and he'll probably want to have sex because it's been so long since we last did. I am really concerned as ...
A. 8 January 2009: Anti-biotics can stop the pill from working. The chemist should have told you but sometimes they do forget. (They forgot with me once, I was a trifle miffed and went in and politely complained.)
It'll be much safer if you use condoms as well for... (read in full...)
Losing the nerve to contact him
Q. Hey everyone! Met a guy over xmas, and we've been emailing everyday. We did swop numbers... and I really want to text him, but when it comes to putting his number in... I lose my nerve? Am I crazy? I just keep talking myself out of it! Any advice? ...
A. 8 January 2009: Do it do it now!
You have no excuse!
He might start to think you are not interested if you keep it email only for much longer.
Take a breath and do it. You are a grown woman, this is far easier than dealing with a huge spider so tell your... (read in full...)
Have I forgotten how to maintain a relationship?
Q. Hi, I'm feeling a little concerned. I'm 20, and I have dated four women in my life (or three depending on how you see it). My first love was long distance and our relationship lasted two years before her desire to go to university broke us up. It ...
A. 8 January 2009: I think your main problem is that you are looking for marriage, and the girls of your age are looking for fun / a boyfriend / career / who knows!
You are only 20 and I think the fact that you have had 4 girlfriends already shows that you have no ... (read in full...)
Am I just over reacting??
Q. Not sure if I'm just over reacting to something really stupid but it's another thing that's really upset me and just wanted other people's opinions. I gave blood yesterday and fainted afterwards (my first time). Got home having been told not to...
A. 8 January 2009: Yey for you on giving blood! My friend tends to faint when she has given, but is usually alright after a big meal. Just make sure you have lots of fluids and a HUGE breakfast before you give blood again and you should be fine next time. Eat 2 packs ... (read in full...)
How do I get my friend to listen to me and leave her boyfriend??
Q. Hey guys! Heres my problem I have a very good friend who shall remain nameless which is 15. Every time I see her we always talk about her boyfriend which makes me mad. Because She says "Oh my boyfriend chose his friends over me" or "He lied to me h...
A. 8 January 2009: You have to come to a point where you tell her that you just don't want to hear it any more.
As soon as she starts going on about him start texting and just tell her you are bored of hearing about it. Tell her that you try to be a good friend a... (read in full...)
After 9 years, he still won't marry my friend - what should she do??
Q. i have a close friend that has been with her guy now for 9 years. and she uses every way in the book to explain why he wont marry her. I've been married for nearly 5yrs and i'm in the process of a divorce. so as you can see i don't try to enc...
A. 7 January 2009: If it's marriage she wants then she needs to tell him that if he won't marry her then she will find someone who will.
If she packs her bags and comes to stay with you for a few days then he may actualy crap himself, and realise he's being stupid. ... (read in full...)
His behavior & irresponsibility just totally drains me
Q. Ok here we go, I am 24, well I will be 25 in a month. I have been in a relationship for 5 years and here is my problem I am having. My boyfriend and I live together. He has been in a lot of trouble with the law ever since a teenager. He has 2 DUI, ...
A. 7 January 2009: The fact you are posting here says to me that you have had enough already.
You can only take so much before you become his doormat and he is showing no sign of changing so I think you are pretty much there.
If you really think that this is all... (read in full...)
He wants me to move to be with him but I'm really confused
Q. My boyfriend wants me to move and live with him (he lives 5 hours aways from me). We have had a really rocky year as he can be a very unreasonable person and is never wrong. Strangely though I do love him very much. He has had a transfer and will be ...
A. 7 January 2009: It seems your main reasons for going to live with him are:
1. To have children
2. Because he says it's the right thing to do.
I honestly don't think it is a good move to go and live 5 hours away from all your friends and family, for a man wh... (read in full...)
Can I lose weight even if I don't exercise?
Q. Hi there, Im just wondering can you lose weight if i dont exercise? im a little bit overweight so i decided to go on a diet, im just eating really healthy and not eating any junkfood. But im not doin any sort of exercise programme. I'm n...
A. 7 January 2009: Yes you can if you eat healthily.
You don't need to go to a gym or do "vigorous" exercise for it to help you burn off calories.
Even breathing and digesting food burns off calories. Do some sit ups in bed at night, squeeze you bum in when you ... (read in full...)
He says its not cheating when he sees a prostitute!
Q. my husband of 17 years at the time told me two years ago that he had been with a few prostitutes, he estimated about 20. We went to counseling and he went to sex addiction anonymous. This past fall I found a diary that noted two more sexual ...
A. 7 January 2009: He's having sex with a woman who is not his wife.
That is the very definition of cheating.
It seems he doesn't even see these poor girls as women, just objects to use for sexual gratification.
One more reason to divorce him I think. You... (read in full...)
He's not up to my standards
Q. I been talking to my friend on the phone like everyday up to 2-4 hours. He express to me how he's really likes me, but I don't want to be then a relationship with him because he is not up to my standards and his not ready to make them changes in his ...
A. 7 January 2009: If you have n intention of going out with him then tell him and then it's his choice as to whether he continues on as your friend.
Just tell him you don't want to lead him on but that you are really glad you have him as a friend.
It's fair eno... (read in full...)
What can I say to make him go away for good, and not humiliate myself?
Q. The guy I broke up with this weekend called 3 times last night. When I called him back, I asked why he called and he said, "just to say hi" and then giggled. I told him, "don't call just to say hi. Don't call me at all." I know he likes to mess...
A. 7 January 2009: You are only fun to play games with as long as you react.
Don't answer his calls, don't call him back, blank him completely.
If you don;t play is games then he will find someone else for toy with.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
How can you jump in bed with someone else after a break up?
Q. How can a guy , that is in a great relationship where both people absolutely love each other and have no big problems or fights and have plans for the future - just turn around in one week, break up the relationship after 2 years of dating and jump ...
A. 7 January 2009: It's called rebound sex.
He wants to know he's done the right thing in breaking up with you and that he is actually capable of getting another woman.
He's dump her as quickly as he got with her.
The fact that you found out about it a sad... (read in full...)
What would be the pitfalls of a fling or affair? We're only together because of the kids.
Q. Hi all. Been married 20 years; have two great kids (11 and 8). My wife says she no longer loves me but she wants to stay together for the kids. There is no affection or intimacy but we get along and have fun together and talk etc. I don't know if ...
A. 7 January 2009: I think you are doing the right thing and I really respect you for trying to win her back.
You sound like a nice man.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
I haven't told my boyfriend about the abortion I'm getting. Do I tell him, if so, how?
Q. If i get an abortion do I have to tell my boyfriend? I am just asking because I am having an abortion in two weeks and i havent told anyone yet other than a close female friend who had one before and is helping me through it. i am experien...
A. 7 January 2009: This is a really tough one and I think it is going to come down to your personal moral choice. All the advice you get here is going to be people's own moral view and I think you have to take it all in and make your own decision.
Perso... (read in full...)
Will the love come back? Will I want to be intimate with my hubby again?
Q. I am 38 years old. I have been married to my husband for 4 years, we have two beautiful children, they are the loves of my life. However, I feel like I don't love my husband anymore and I am not physically or sexually attracted to him. Not sure ...
A. 6 January 2009: This is not a boyfriend, this is the father of your children and then guy you promised to love and cherish etc etc.
So I think you definitely owe him a chance.
HOWEVER, this in no way should all be on you. He has to put some effort into keep... (read in full...)
She says she loves me, but will never see me.
Q. Ok, Im 16 years old and my girlfriend is 15 and i have been going out with her for nearly 6 months now, but for the past two months it has not been going so good. I want to see her badly but she will only ever see me with friends, and for the past...
A. 6 January 2009: It sounds like she is not happy with you and I don't think you are happy with her.
I know you want to have a girlfriend but I think your motivation is sex rather than her. Is this really all you want from a relationship? I think you can do bette... (read in full...)
I now want out of the relationship. How do I do it?
Q. Started seeing a guy at uni a while back and we're now dating and basically I now want out of the relationship. What happened is this. We got to know each other and maybe rushed in to things a bit quickly. We slept together. That was fine. ...
A. 6 January 2009: Well if he's sulking and being an arse all the time, just wait till he next throws a hissy fit and then just tell him it's not working out.
Walk out and if he comes after you then just say that you haven't been happy with things for a while an... (read in full...)
I don't know what to write on facebook
Q. Hi. On facebook. I want to write a message to this guy. He is a musician. I don't know what to say. Please help...
A. 6 January 2009: "Hi,
My Name is Josie and I really like your music, I'd really like to chat to you some time.
I've added you as a friend so I hope you add me back.
Thanks
Josie x"
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
We are in a FWB but there is no sex?!
Q. Ok, so here is the deal.. i have this guy who i am extremely interested in.. though i agreed to be friends with benefits with him. I developed feelings for him, and at times i feel like he has feelings for me. I had gone to spend new years eve with ...
A. 6 January 2009: It sounds like he wants you long term but just isn't in a good place to have a relationship right now.
In my opinion this is a bit stupid of him, but hey, it's his life.
As for you, well if you want to hang around hoping that he will decide i... (read in full...)
What would be the pitfalls of a fling or affair? We're only together because of the kids.
Q. Hi all. Been married 20 years; have two great kids (11 and 8). My wife says she no longer loves me but she wants to stay together for the kids. There is no affection or intimacy but we get along and have fun together and talk etc. I don't know if ...
A. 6 January 2009: Well why can't you just be open with her about it before it happens.
You say yourself that she is not going to mind so she would probably appreciate your honesty.
If you two are living together purely as housemates to raise some kids then w... (read in full...)
How long does it take for the contraceptive pill to take effect?
Q. So I'm on a birth control pill. I'm on it for medical reasons. I am not having sex and I don't plan to for a while. But I was wondering though how long does birth conrtol take to "kick in" as a contraceptive? (preventing pregancy)...
A. 5 January 2009: Depends on the type of pill you are on. Read the leaflet that came with it and that should tell you.
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
Should I tell what I did with other guys when we were broken up?
Q. My boy friend and I have been going out for over a year. About two months ago we broke up for over a month. Now that my boy friend and I are back together for a few weeks, my boy friend wants to know what I did, if anything, with other guys....
A. 5 January 2009: Tell him that you admit there were other men but that you aren't going to tell him the details.
If you do then he will think about it, over think it and it will cause problems.
I know he thinks he wants to know but it will cause more probl... (read in full...)
Do I take the morning after pill?
Q. i did the stupidest most irresponsible thing ever and messed around with my ex/almost boyfriend again. we are taking some time apart before getting back together so that we dont mess things up the second time around. we hung out today and things got ...
A. 5 January 2009: If in doubt take the morning after pill.
You have 72 hours after sex to take it.
GO!
Good Luck!! xx... (read in full...)
I want oral sex! How do I tell her?
Q. i'm 15 and my girfriend is 14, my girlfriend and i have been goin out for three wonderful months and counting..... she used to say that we would wait for the perfect moment to have sex, then soon after she started saying that we would never have sex....
A. 5 January 2009: Hang on you are doing all this in a bathroom at the mall?
How romantic!!!!
If you want to advance further then go out with her longer so that you can at least be friends enough to go back to hers or have her round your house. Groping her in a... (read in full...)
I kissed someone else while we broke up, now ex wants me back..don't know whether to tell him about kiss or not
Q. My ex and I broke up in nearly two months ago. We stayed in contact and almost got back together a couple of times until we had a big row three weeks ago and decided it was best to end it and have no contact at all. It was him that wanted no ...
A. 5 January 2009: What possible reason is there to tell him?
You were single and drunk and it was a snog in a club... you hardly went back to his and slept with all his mates as well!
Move on from this and work out what will make you happiest in the long run.
... (read in full...)
Will my ex ever realize what he has done to the family?
Q. was with my partner for many years and suffered verbal, emotional and physical abuse. all our children are all grown up now and have nothing to do with their father, ive recently divorced him and have left the area where i lived with him and now he ...
A. 5 January 2009: You stayed with him for long enough hoping he would change, and he didn't.
Why do you expect him to change just because you left?
He's going to carry on like this forever and if this woman is stupid enough to stay with him for as long as you d... (read in full...)
I want to call him before his operation, he's not my boyfriend but he could be. Help me with the right words!
Q. hey..a very good friend of mine who stays in a different city will be undergoing a small appendix operation and since i am not there with him i have decided to call him before the operation and calm him down..but i am not finding the right words..he ...
A. 5 January 2009: It's an apendix operation! Not heart Surgery!!!
If you call up and start with the "I might not get another chance to say this: I love you!!!!" then the poor guy is going to think he's going to die!
Call up and take the piss out of him till he's... (read in full...)
I know he's going to propose, how do I let him down gently? But still keep him with me?
Q. Hi I have been seeing my bf since feb (2008) i live with him and am in complete love with him. Im 19 and hes 30 and he makes me happier than ive ever been before.But he is talking about marriage We are going away to Rome and i know for a fact th...
A. 5 January 2009: Don't wait till he goes down on one knee.
Talk to him now. Just tell him that you were chatting to someone the other day who asked about marriage and how you were saying that you two are perfectly happy as you are and you are NOT ready for all ... (read in full...)
How do you cope with being an old maid?
Q. does any one know how to cope being old maid.because i am new it.i never had boyfreind once in my life and never being kissed.at this stage of my so called life i have to accept as a fact of life for my self. probaby won,t miss someting i never ha...
A. 5 January 2009: If you don't situation then don;t sit and complain about it and generalise that ALL men only want girls in their 20's.
You are making excuses so that you can sit and feel sorry for yourself.
Get out there and meet new people. You will find a ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend likes it rough, but I don't. How do I get her to tone it down?
Q. I've been seeing my girlfriend for close to 3 months now. We enjoy being with each other and have now started to be intimate with each other. However, lately I feel she's being a little too sexually agressive for my taste. The kissing, hugging...
A. 5 January 2009: I'm not into the whole sitting down and having a discussion. I think it'll get a bit humiliating.
Why not just tell her when you don't like something? When she does something in public then just pull her to one side and tell her you REALLY d... (read in full...)
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