A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Ok, so here is the deal.. i have this guy who i am extremely interested in.. though i agreed to be friends with benefits with him. I developed feelings for him, and at times i feel like he has feelings for me. I had gone to spend new years eve with him, got hammered, and he didnt even try to sleep with me. * i thought friends with benefits was when you had sex with each other?*..( this isnt the first occurance of this either) i was a little upset because i went there with the idea in my mind that we were going to have sex. I dunno, he is soo confusing. We will stay up until the early morning talking on the phone, about anything. We are on a pretty intellectual level. Oh yeah, we also work together! *BLAH*. So i dont know what to think. i didnt know if anyone was in a similar situation, or whether anyone thinks i am wasting my time. When i am around him i get this feeling, almost like we are meant to be together. He has stated that he wants me to only be faithful to him, and that he would expect the same from me. Even though he doesnt want a relationship right now. My friends tell me i am crazy for putting myself in this situation. What do you guys think?!?!.. i am crazy?!? i would love to hear from men and women. Help me.
View related questions:
friend with benefits Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (6 January 2009):
It sounds like he wants you long term but just isn't in a good place to have a relationship right now.
In my opinion this is a bit stupid of him, but hey, it's his life.
As for you, well if you want to hang around hoping that he will decide it's time for you to be together then that's up to you. But set yourself a deadline as you could be wasting your time here forever.
Have you asked him why he feels you can't be together fully?
Give it a few weeks and if he still doesn't want to be with you then I would say that you have to stop torturing yourself and move on. Just tell him that you cant be his friend when you want him to be more and that if he ever grows up enough to handle having a girlfriend then he should give you a call.
You might be surprised how fast he changes his mind when he faces losing you all together.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): Ag shame maybe he doesn’t understand what friends with benefits mean LOL
BUT
What normal man gets hammered with a girl and not try and get into her panties, I would say he likes you a lot, how long do you know this guy and do you know if he has ever been hurt by someone before, he might be putting of a relationship with you coz he’s scared of being hurt again, I really don’t know of many men who will do what he did, give him time be his friend – you might only start to reap the benefits later LOL and no you are not crazy, if this man makes you feel good about yourself and he respects you and your body don’t let him go, hes also talking about staying faithful maybe he had a girl cheat on him before and now he would like to make sure that this is for real and he wont get hurt, he sounds like a keeper …
Keep us posted
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): Make a date and discuss this matter with him. "Seek first to understand to be understood". After this make a call and move on.
...............................
|
