A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i have a close friend that has been with her guy now for 9 years. and she uses every way in the book to explain why he wont marry her. I've been married for nearly 5yrs and i'm in the process of a divorce.so as you can see i don't try to encourage her to pressure her guy to marry because obviously i don't know the ends and out or i wouldn't be about to get a divorce.i really need help my friend she is now rapidly approaching 40 and she has never been married. she says she has had her mother talk to him and everything and he still will not marry her.i'm wondering has anyone on here ever experienced this avoidance of marriage and how long does it usually last???? i don't want my friend to continue to waste her life if he's not willing to commit his life to her...or on the other hand is this normal??like do some people just never get married???help me please????????????????????
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you all for your input it definitely helps me understand what her guy may be feeling...i'll just reinerate on the fact that marriage is just the legal union and that they've been commited for this long why does it matter...
thing is i've said these things to here before and she just has it in her heart that she wants to be married. she's 38 and has never been married and wants to be married.
it comes to the point where if this guy really loves her and cares about her feelings and DOESN'T plan on going anywhere...then he should consider just marring her because that's what she wants...i think this has really played on her feelings because her mom and others have put in her mind that if he hasn't married her after 3-5yrs he's not going to...which is unfortunate...when he's asked why he just says because he doesn't want to...or not right now...etc...which is really unacceptable...
not to mention when one of his friends asked him "hey man when are you going to tie the knot?" his reply was "i'm not going to marry her." WOW
seems to me he already is confident in the idea that he's not going to marry her
thanks you all...personally i want her to move on!
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (7 January 2009):
If it's marriage she wants then she needs to tell him that if he won't marry her then she will find someone who will.
If she packs her bags and comes to stay with you for a few days then he may actualy crap himself, and realise he's being stupid.
It's a risk but if he doesn't seem bothered that she's gone then she'll have her answer and she can move on.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, telli +, writes (7 January 2009):
A sound man with healthy emotions knows within a year of dating a woman if he will marry her. It sounds like your friend has wasted (8) years. My advise to her would be it's never to late to start over. He will only continue to hold her life up until he meets the woman he wants to marry and than he'll break it off and you'll be left picking her up after he's happily long gone.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): Well Maybe You Should Get Your Friend To Talk To Her Husband About Her Future...And Get Her To Bring Up Marriage With Him. Found Out What He Wants. It Took Me Two Years To Finally Get My Husband To Marry Me And We Have Been Happily Married For 9 Years Now.All I Did Was Open His Mind To The Idea Of Marriage..!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 January 2009): Yes some people stay together for years and never marry. For some, they see just being together as commitment enough and do not need to legalize their union. For others it could be that getting married is too expensive. With the high rate of divorce these days maybe some people just dont value marriage anymore.If your friend is happy just being with this man and not being married to him then it's probably for the best. If the guy doesn't want to marry her, then really it's for her to find out the reason. Either way I don't think there is much you can do and being married isnt the be all and end all of life.
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