A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boy friend and I have been going out for over a year. About two months ago we broke up for over a month. Now that my boy friend and I are back together for a few weeks, my boy friend wants to know what I did, if anything, with other guys. He does know from one of his friends that I was out with at least one other guy, and this friend also told him that he saw this guy at my apartment. While we were broken up I did date other guys, and I did do some things with other guys.I understand that we are still working things out between us, and that my boy friend wants us to talk more about everything (because that was a problem we had before), and therefore he wants to know what I did from me and not from anyone else telling him. He also wants me to tell him anything new that I might want to try. I am ok with telling him what I did, but should I be careful telling him everything that I did? If I tell him what I might want to try, and he things it is strange, could that also cause a problem?
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reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks everyone for your great replies.
My boy friend did tell me everyone that he was with and what he did. I did not ask him, he just came out and told me. He wants to keep everything more open now that we are back together for a few weeks. He asked me to do the same, and tell him who I was with and what I did. I went out with only two guys, but I did do more than just kiss them. Since he told me should I tell him?
I also think it is a good step that he wants to now hear what will turn me on and make me happier. (he never cared before) I am a little reluctant because one of the things I would like to try is a threesome with my boy friend and another guy and I don’t know how he would take it. But, since he wants to be so open now should I tell him and see if he will consider it?
What do all of you think?
Thanks
Kristen
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 January 2009): no don't tell him ,because you were broken up , did tell you who he was with , then be ok
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A
female
reader, Susan Walsh +, writes (5 January 2009):
I don't think any good can come of your telling him what you did with other guys. He'll just fixate on those things and feel jealous. Honestly, what you did with other people when the two of you were apart is not his business. I agree that you should look to the future, and tell him you don't want to talk about the time you were broken up.I do think it's great that he's asking if there is anything you want to try. It sounds like he wants to please you, and it's a real opportunity for you to be open and honest about what you want.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (5 January 2009):
Tell him that you admit there were other men but that you aren't going to tell him the details.
If you do then he will think about it, over think it and it will cause problems.
I know he thinks he wants to know but it will cause more problems long term if he does.
Just tell him you don't want to talk about it and that you didn't have sex (if you didn't) but that the rest is in the past and doesn't matter.
Good Luck!! xx
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