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Have I forgotten how to maintain a relationship?

Tagged as: Dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (8 January 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 8 January 2009)
A male United Kingdom age 36-40, *ndy00 writes:

Hi, I'm feeling a little concerned.

I'm 20, and I have dated four women in my life (or three depending on how you see it). My first love was long distance and our relationship lasted two years before her desire to go to university broke us up. It was more than likely that the relationship would have died after she started university, but at the time it was the hardest thing I'd ever had to come to terms with. At least I can look back on it at say that we had a wonderful time while we were together. We met up on 13 occasions for about one or two weeks each time, and I always remember them being the most fun I've ever had in my life.

However, this is the only example of a relationship that was long term. From there I've dated a woman who was very much a feminist and didn't really appreciate my jokey sense of humor, which eventually lead to our relationship's demise after a mere 3 weeks. The next girl I dated was a 27 year old woman. She was on the verge of moving away whenever we met, so we spent about a month together up until she moved. Even then our relationship wasn't perfect, as she seemed to get pretty depressed whenever she drank alcohol. I think she was just a little confused about where her life was going, and I doubt that the idea that she was currently having relations with a 19 year-old guy (at the time) helped very much. All in all, we both seemed to enjoy our short time together. The most recent girlfriend of mine I met when I myself started university. We dated for just over two months before we came to the decision that we weren't compatible with one another. She just didn't seem all that determined to keep things going, and didn't seem to have much time for me.

I just don't seem to be having very much luck. My first relationship seemed so easy looking back on it. After that, relationships have proved a little difficult to maintain, and I just don't know why. Is it possible that I've forgotten how to maintain a relationship or something? I know I'm too young to pursue a long-term relationship anyway, and I should only be trying to have fun. But all I know is that my first relationship was the longest, and it was when I was happiest. I'm sure that's where my desire for a long relationship comes from.

Can anyone advise me?

View related questions: depressed, long distance, university

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A female reader, Emilysanswers United Kingdom +, writes (8 January 2009):

I think your main problem is that you are looking for marriage, and the girls of your age are looking for fun / a boyfriend / career / who knows!

You are only 20 and I think the fact that you have had 4 girlfriends already shows that you have no real problem at all, you are just a bit lonely right now.

Most people have only had one or 2 relationships at your age so chill out, have fun and stop anylising everything. You'll meet someone, just like we all do.

Good Luck!! xx

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