A
female
age
36-40,
*utcutie69
writes:Ok here we go, I am 24, well I will be 25 in a month. I have been in a relationship for 5 years and here is my problem I am having. My boyfriend and I live together. He has been in a lot of trouble with the law ever since a teenager. He has 2 DUI, and is going through court with another one right now. Everything will be fine for months or whenever then he goes out to the bar and once the bar closes its like he disappears, he does not call me or let me know where he is I call and text him no answer or he turns his phone off. He doesn't come home until the next morning! I have to wake up early to work in the morning and it affects me because I stay up worrying and trying to get a hold of him wondering if he is sitting in jail or even alive. Then when he does this I am mad and I don't talk to him for days after and we talk about it and he says he'll never do it again and he does. I have tried doing the same thing back to him going out and staying somewhere else and not telling him, that didn't work cuz he still does it. So I don't know what to do, because he is being irresponsible and disrespectful to me and I keep taking it just like all the other things I have been through with him. How will I know when it is enough? We have been together for 5 years and we have talked about getting married and having a family, but he has too much baggage and problems, if he gets charged with a 3rd DUI its a felony and may have to go back to prison? So if anyone has any advice please help me!
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female
reader, Manya +, writes (7 January 2009):
Hello! I thought of two things: first, is the situation getting better or worse? Probably not better if you were motivated to write in. If it's were getting better, you might be able to work it out, perhaps see a counselor, etc. But, if it is getting worse, I would say that you should consider moving out into a place of your own, or are there other problems, financial, etc.? these situations can get so complex! Truly, it does sound like he is major trouble and you are young -- 25! You could find another chap who is far more considerate and mature!
Please take care of yourself!
Love,
Manya
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (7 January 2009):
The fact you are posting here says to me that you have had enough already.
You can only take so much before you become his doormat and he is showing no sign of changing so I think you are pretty much there.
If you really think that this is all you are worth in life then yeah, marry him, have his kids and take them to see him in jail on weekends.
If you think you deserve a man who doesn't drink and drive and doesn't think treating you like crap is fine because you'll forgive him then kick his arse out and find someone better.
Trust me, you won't have to look very hard.
Good Luck!! xx
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