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male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my girlfriend say's she doesn't love me anymore, what am i meant to do? i have been with her for the last 9 months, she say that her feelings have gone and she doesnt feel the same way anymore, but only a week ago she told me she loves me, i really love her i get on with her quite well and i want her back what should i do? Reply to this Question
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reader, momo2011  +, writes (2 April 2011):
im 18 and im on a relationship so far i guess me and my gf we fight alot and our last fight was before 10 days it was about that i dont care about her and so on and i fixt the situation but days after that i told her to open skype i want to talk to her (we are in diffrent countries and im coming back after 2 days)and she said i'll call u after a min to open the skype and i wated but she dident call and i found out from her friend that she opend skype and waited for me but i didint log in (i was waiting her to call)and when i found out about that i tried to call her about 2 times and she didn't pick up so i decided not to call her and we dident talk since 13 days did u understand the problem !!!!!all im asking is how to act with her when i get back should i go and say sorry or wait her to come or what pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeese help me im confused (notice she's my first love and we are together for about 4 mon)
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2011): My girlfriend of almost 4 yrs all through high school and she was with me threw everything i went threw my parents divorce, being kicked out of 4 different houses and my dad going to prison. I feel like i been betrayed by her she just pop's off she wants to end are relation ship she says she loves me but not just "Inlove" and says that its my fault that i didnt care for her yet i gave up my entire high school life for her i lost every friend that i had for her and now half to cope by myself. And she gets with another guy within 24hrs and i found the next day that she had been hangin out with him everyday when she said she was at "work" for at least a month that she admited to and i nvr txted her cause she would be busy at work. But she wants to be friends and she said that she wouldnt try to get back with me untill there relationship ends so leaving me in the dark. I found music can help with your emotions mostly death metal for me. But in the end i think i can get over her but just heart broken all this has come to be. But do you think i should try to wait for her i was ready to propose this summer to her cause i wanted to be with her forever like we always had said threw high school
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2011): My girlfriend of almost 4 yrs all through high school and she was with me threw everything i went threw my parents divorce, being kicked out of 4 different houses and my dad going to prison. I feel like i been betrayed by her she just pop's off she wants to end are relation ship she says she loves me but not just "Inlove" and says that its my fault that i didnt care for her yet i gave up my entire high school life for her i lost every friend that i had for her and now half to cope by myself. And she gets with another guy within 24hrs and i found the next day that she had been hangin out with him everyday when she said she was at "work" for at least a month that she admited to and i nvr txted her cause she would be busy at work. But she wants to be friends and she said that she wouldnt try to get back with me untill there relationship ends so leaving me in the dark. I found music can help with your emotions mostly death metal for me. But in the end i think i can get over her but just heart broken all this has come to be. But do you think i should try to wait for her i was ready to propose this summer to her cause i wanted to be with her forever like we always had said threw high school
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reader, redpanda  +, writes (2 February 2011):
hey ... im in your shoes buddy & i know exactly wat you are going through right now , i was with my girl for 9 months, treated her really good ( sure we had our ups & downs but that's perfectly normal in a relationship) anyway everything seemed to be going fine & then just the other night she told me she didnt think it was working & we should split up ... i did the very thing u probably shouldnt do and started asking for reasons why as she couldnt really give me an explanation ... i felt like shit ... any way she dropped me off home & went 2 walk away she said hey u know call me if you want 2 talk were still friends & i still have feelings for you ..(this part i cant understand why would i stay friends for her to get over dumping me) this is hard bro if u still around & talking 2 her it makes it worse .... & then the next morning after dwelling on it all night i did the tx terrorism thing & started pouring my heart out to her
... this was another wrong move .. thats just gona push her further away but its hard not to because i really loved this women & i still love her .. & im not going to sit down & take it, im gonna fight to get her back but i know by constantly txing & hounding will just drive her away ... its only been 2 days since we broke up .. & ive been taking st. johns wart which is a herbal pick me up you can get to make your mind think a bit straighter & heaps of exercise .. im going to giv it to the end of the week & then send her a tx saying im thinking of her & i hope shes o.k ,but nothing more ... one step at a time ...im not sure if your still in this situation but it has just begun for me & i feel better just by putting my thoughts across to whoever is going thro this now ... think positive listen to what all these people hav to say & stay strong
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reader, dmcminn +, writes (1 January 2011):
 M8 exactly the same thing has just happend to me :( i was with her 4.5 years and afte a great evening at a family wedding she came out with she dussnt feel the same and our love isnt as strong as it use to be. I i asked why ect and its just making things worse getting her all frustrated. im going to let her have time. I know how hard it is. ive spoken to her eveyday for 4 years to all of a suddern nothing. I hope she changes her mind but its fate.
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reader, jonnyp  +, writes (18 March 2010):
In some ways I agree with perfectgentleman. If your woman says she doesn't love you anymore, give her space. But, you should keep up your appearance: look good, exercise, have fun with friends. How have you changed since the beginning of your relationship? Got a little lazy? If you want her back give her time to see why she fell in love with you in the first place. Don't bug her or ask her why, leave her alone! She needs to see someone she can rely on, financially above other ways. Wait about a month then casually call her to say hello. Ask her if she wants to go out for lunch, not a date! Keep it short, about thirty minutes, then take off. if she wants to stay longer, leave her hanging, show her she isn't the top priority and you have a life. call about a week later, or if she calls sooner, see if you can do it again. NEVER bring up anything from the past! If you start dating her again, and she does the same thing, move on.
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reader, perfectgentlemen  +, writes (9 July 2009):
Are you Kidding me let me give you the real deal bro,most likely she is young and thats the one of the worst mistake us men make messing with these young girls , who all the want to do is shoot a porn and ride around in a nice car and shop well of course the wont tell you that, they havent made up ther minds about life yet, and if shes is older or young, there is a great chance she is seeing some one else and there offering her something that your falling down on,wither or not if shes already geting it,but if you know your a good man and your doing every thing you can i mean REALLY..i agree with what (Ponungalungb) said just let her go and she will relize what she did,BUT you must not down grade your women get a better one, go to the gym work out keep shaved allways smeel and look good why.??? cuz they will say look.. he is a mess now that i left him.. NO you do it real big look better walk better talk better smile bigger these women feel the can feed you TRASH just because of what is between there legs and when they do that its witch craft to me.. sounds crazy ?? read it again and think hard you will thank me..BE STROUNG ALL OF YOU
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reader, kayleigh1234 +, writes (24 February 2009):
I know how you feel, I have just got the exact same today. my girlfriend of 9 months has just left me. I was fine with her all day today, last night we watched titanic together, it couldnt have been better. Now suddenly her friends are more important and she wants to break up. I'm not sure how to deal with it, I keep crying and everything, I do reminds me of her and how we used to be.
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reader, rudy~and~riley +, writes (2 October 2008):
I'm in pretty much the same situation as you right now. I'm 18 and my ex (of a few days) is 24. we had been living together. it was a strong love for a long time, spent every minute together, you know? then something changed for her. I could tell but she would keep saying she loved me. I decided maybe she's just down about something and it would get better. Then we broke up. We got back together with us making an agreement we would take a break for a few months and stay together but like, not see each other, a break. So i like this idea (it was mine) and we spent the next 3 weeks together til i moved. in that time, i thought htings were getting better and maybe we could just keep going. I still had to move away. when i did, i called her the next night, she said she didnt think any of it was going to work out and that she had moved on. I was speechless, honestly. she told me she hadnt loved me for a while and she was unable to love (she has some childhood issues and makes it hard for her to trust and love). i thought our relationship had been so strong and everything.
i plead with her, tried to make her see reason.
then today i saw reason. I was being selfish. i shouldnt control her life and she shouldnt control mine. This is when i made a huge turning point in my heartbreak. I realized that if it was meant for us to be together, it would happen and i just had to wait it out. No more emailing 5 times a day, no more calls. I had to give her space to miss me and if she really was in love with me and just couldnt see it, she would come back to me. All you gotta do is give the girl some space to breathe, maybe get their emotions in check, and then if it's right it'l lhappen. Its still hard not to be incredibly sad about it because you remember how you fell in love, the first months, and all that. Yeah, those times were great and you never think it'll happen again, but it most likely will. Dont stew on it or else it'll just eat away at you and give you an ulcer. Memories don't disappear into thin air, and so you can always remember the great great beautiful thing you two had. Maybe write a memoir of the relationship to the best of your memory. write the first time you met and the entire break up and what happened and everythign in between. I think i am gonna do this also. Your first love is your best one and you will never forget it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2008): I know what you're going through. My gf of 4 years left me. I am posting this now and you'll never hear from me again. I didn't like the pain and begged too much but nothing so I dropped everything and left. Weeks later she called but I never answered. The voicemail: Hi it's me, called to see how you are. Ok, talk to you later. (In a calm/sad voice)
Some times you have to just let go. It hurts deep, but it's worth it. You know the best part of falling out of love or break ups? - It's the falling in love again part. You're young. Go out there and enjoy life. This shit happens all the time. Don't do anything stupid, just be yourself. Be confident in yourself. Focus on yourself because I know, being in a relationship consumes your thoughts. Get your act together and one day she'll see. But don't let her back into your life, take YOUR TIME. Don't ever let a relationship control you. Stay strong, and keep looking towards that positive future. It's amazing. And one day a girl will come along and you'll know it but don't ever be that wallflower.
Throw your fist in the air and feel that chill go down your spine. Wake up, it's time to move on.
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 November 2007): I'm 17 and the same thing just happened to me with my girlfriend. I'm coping with it really badly. I'm constantly thinking about new ways to try and get her back but we have to face it; chances are she's not coming back.
If you're determined to stay friends you have to not let her see how bad you feel - for some reason ex's don't really feel sympathetic. At least not in the way you'd hope.
If you can do that maybe she'll realise why she loved you and feel like it again and if not at least you'll still have her as a friend...
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reader, Ponungalungb +, writes (18 January 2007):
 I agree with CD206, except for one thing . . . I'd stay away from her. Let her stew in her own juices, so to speak. She'll either realize that she can't live without you and want you back, or she'll realize that she can live without you and that's the end of it. In the meantime, you need to go out and have some fun. If she changes her mind, she can track you down.
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reader, cd206 +, writes (18 January 2007):
 You can't do anything I'm afraid. If she doesn't love you anymore she can't change her feelings. The only thing you can do is stay close to her and hope that in the future she changes her mind.
CD
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