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female
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*ewyork
writes: Dear Cupid, My question is that I have just found out I am pregnant - it's a happy result and my husband and I are delighted! However, my due date is 2 weeks before my sister's (who is also my best friend)wedding! I feel so bad that I can not be there for her on the day and am also scared that I will miss the wedding. We are so close, I feel bad that I did not plan this better (we've been trying for a baby for 3 months, and I thought it would take longer). I am worried about telling her, in case she thinks I'm selfish for not considering that. However, as a new mom, I don't need this extra stress and pressure! What should I do?
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best friend, trying for a baby, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, george81  +, writes (18 January 2007):
Congratulations
Please try not to worry, I'm sure she'll be delighted that she she is going to be an Auntie. Anytime from after 37 weeks is generally the accepted rule as to when your baby should arrive, normally with your first you go overdue, but even the text books can be wrong, my first appeared at 37 weeks!
She will be upset that you may not be able to be there on the day, but I'm sure she will be happy for you and she will understand why!
Try not tp worry about it and enjoy your pregancy, your sister will more than likely enjoy having something else to talk about other than her wedding and you will enjoy the distraction the closer to you get to your due date!
Your whole family will have so many things to celebrate and she will be delighted for your.
Good luck please don't worry!
A
female
reader, AngelofLove +, writes (17 January 2007):
 Getting yourself stressed over this will not help matters or change either event. Both are going to happen no matter what.
Tell her how you feel, as best friends must share good news. I am sure she will be pleased for you not worried.
if you both miss each other's special day, stressing about it will not make things any easier. Instead enjoy time now and make the most of it. Share planning together as the build up is just as important and special. These days will give you more memories than one day in your lives.
All the best to both of you. Congratulations!
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A
female
reader, mitta +, writes (17 January 2007):
Dont be silly! Of course she wont think you're being selfish. She'll be happy for you just as you are happy for her.
It probably wont interfere much with her wedding, babies usually come before their due date and its due 2 weeks before her wedding. Besides what a happy time it will be for you family!
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (17 January 2007):
 I'm sure she won't think you're being selfish! If it's your first baby it'll almost certainly be late anyway so you should be free to attend your sister's wedding without problems. I bet she'll be so excited about being an aunt that it won't even matter.
CD
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A
female
reader, jar2007 +, writes (17 January 2007):
 Congratualtions and Relax.!... you have just discovered that you are pregnant and your emotions and hormones are all over the place right now. So you are bound to be looking out for consequences of having a baby, I know I did when I first fell pregnant.
If your sister is your best friend aswell, it probably won't even occur to her that you have been selfish... far from it.. she will probably be really happy for you and will now have the added bonus of being an Auntie with a niece or nephew to spoil! Never feel bad for persuing your dream of becoming a mother, while she pursues her dream of becoming a wife.
You will still be able to help her to prepare for her wedding, towards your the end of your pregnancy, you will be looking for something to do anyway as you will be bored sitting around feeling big and uncomfotable there will be so many things you can do without having to physically run around like a mad thing. So the wedding may well be a welcome distraction for you as you sit and wait for the baby to arrive.
As for attending the wedding, this shouldn't be a problem at all apart from the fact that you will have to limit the champagne if you're still pregnant or breastfeeding by then!!
Timing is down to nature, so who can tell but unless you have the baby on the actual day or the before there should be no reason why you can't be there.
Enjoy your good news and I'm sure your sister will be really happy for you... if not then she is the selfish one not you.
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A
female
reader, ManchesterBabe +, writes (17 January 2007):
well.. like you said she is your best friend.
If she isnt happy for you then she is nasty. You said u have been trying for three months i bet your sister knows this and will be happy for u! You never no, your sister might have one soon too.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2007): as a male can you explain to me why if the baby is born two weeks befor her wedding why you still cannot attend it? surely your inlaws wouldnt mind looking after the rug rat for a while when your at the wedding?
and if your sister blames you for ruining her wedding when youve just had some of the happiest news anyone can recieve i suggest you review your relationship with her
congrats on the sprog x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2007): Listen I think that you are over analysing this, Im sure your sister will be happy for you.
And who says that you would not be able to attend the wedding?, you may have a newborn baby with you but you dont need to stay at the wedding all day. Im sure your sister would understand that you may have to leave early.
So stop worrying about the wedding whatever happens, hppens!. So just enjoy your pregnancy and stop stressing out, this is the last few months that you and your parnter have together alone so try to concentrate on that.
Im sure your sister wont think your trying to steal her thunder, if your as close as you say She'll be pleased for you.
XX
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 January 2007): Congratulations! if you and your sister are that close then she will just as happy for you.She will not think you selfish,she will be a wife and an Auntie!!!how can anyone not be over the moon about that!!!Just make sure though that your maid of honour outfit has room to stretch!!!
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