A
female
age
36-40,
*ecky1234
writes:i have been with my boyfriend for 5 months now, i love him very much but iv cheated on him a few times all of them have been drunken mistakes, but i jus cant seem to stop doin it. i only told him about one kiss and he seemed ok with it but this was at the very beginning, i really dont want to tell him because i dont want anything to channge, i really llike him and i know things would be different, if he did it to me id prefer not to know because i would not know how to act, i know he deserves to know but i just dont want to loose him. I dont know y i keep doing it, could it be a way of coping with recent loss or is ths just an excuse?? i really want to stop so If i just stop doing it from now n promise myself il never do it again is this enough then if i do it one more time il tell him?? i dont know what to do.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 February 2007): i have the same problem.. exactly the same.. i need answers as well because i don't want to keep doing it, i don't want to hurt my boyfriend because i love him so much.. but i can't let him find out
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2007): this is my partner he's 40 odd cheats with ex when binge drinking alsways comes back when sober we try to work it out times passes he does it again
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2007): this is so my position my partner cheat when drunk not just drunk binge drinking he contacts his ex who he was with for 18yrs he's stayed there then alays comes back when sober this has happend 5/6 times the last being at xmas & new year i cannot make my mind up as to what to do as he says she wants to split us up
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 January 2007): to be honest your story is alot like mine. ive cheated on my boyfriend 4 times and he knew about all 4 and has forgiven me. it is hard to stop once you start. but you have to be strong with yourself and keep telling yourself that you are not going to do it anymore. it he has ever asked though if you cheated tell him the truth. dont lie.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2007): I am not just amazed at people who drink and cheat and then blame it on the booze but also their partners who constantly buy this as an excuse and forgive them. I know one, she constantly believes in all the lies that her partner comes up with as she is so blinded by his love that she can't believe he is fully capable of cheating. I can't stand people who comes up with this age old excuse...just shows their weakness.
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A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (18 January 2007):
 They're all drunken mistakes which makes me think you have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. If you can't trust yourself when you've had a few stop drinking because itll only get you into trouble and your boyfriend really doesn't deserve to be let down over and over again.
CD
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2007): Question: people drink to get drunk because......?
Answer: Cuz they don't mind that their livers die in faster than their bodies I'm guessing.
Question: people drink to get drunk then cheat because......?
Answer: Cuz they have an excuse to sleep around then blame it on the booze.
Question: people drink to get drunk, then cheat, then blame it on the booze, the hope to whatever invisible being they worship that their partners will believe them....
Oh wait, that isn't even a question!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2007): sorry but your a cheat and a lier, that simple. theres no excuse for it,whether its drink or unhappy in the relationship.
come clean with him, be honest about every dirty dead youve done behind his back and let him move on to someone who deserves him and who will respect him enough not to brake his heart.
hopefully you'll learn your lesson to respect your next partner and that you obviously cant control your body enough to be able to consume alcohol around men.
the fact you say ' i love him very much' is just a joke, you'd never do this to someone you love. maybe once when drunk at the most. i suggest you come clean about it.
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A
male
reader, Blue Rat +, writes (18 January 2007):
You say you can't stop, but the question is do you really WANT to stop? It doesn't sound much like it to me, to be honest. You're a young girl, evidently with a high sex-drive, who likes to enjoy herself. Absolutely nothing wrong with that, and, provided you take sensible precautions, carry on and enjoy yourself.
But you clearly shouldn't be in a relationship at the moment! Either you're not ready yet, or your current boyfriend just isn't really "the one" even though you say you love him - which you obviously don't. Not really.
It's totally unfair on him to carry on like this. You should finish it with him and just enjoy single life for a while. But DON'T tell him what you've been up to. It won't help anyone at all and will just cause heartache.
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, baybee_shiv_x  +, writes (18 January 2007):
 well mabey you should try to stop drinking..this is a problem that will continue through your life if you dont stop now, or if you do want to drink make sure he is with you so you can take your lust out on him, you dont have to tell him about your other mistakes because they ment nothing but really i think you shoulld cut down on the alcohol sweetie...its not good for you and its making you do things you regret...what will you do if you have another drunken mistake and get pregnant with another man? how do you think your boyfriend will react then? i know its hard but the drinking must stop, there are special meetings you can go to help cut down, or you can go see your doctor and ask for adivice xx keep us posted xx
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A
male
reader, Dagwood  +, writes (18 January 2007):
 Are you just kissing a few other guys or are we talking full blown sex? Anyway in either case you simply can't cheat on your boyfriend! You say you've done this a few times when you're drunk! Not a good excuse I'm afraid. If you really loved this guy you would not do this. You’re obviously are not 100% sure of what you want so I suggest that you be honest with your boyfriend (and yourself) and tell him what you've done or if you're too afraid to do that break up with him. Spend some time by yourself and really work out what it is you want and need from a relationship. Maybe you're still too young and immature to commit full time to one person? I’m sure you’ll do the right thing. Take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2007): You guys are not together that long, and you're not engaged or anything. I say not to tell your boyfriend. There's nothing to be gained from it, all you will do is upset him. And i'm sure you don't want that, despite all the drunken kissing.
If i were you, i'd seek counselling to try and figure out why the destructive behaviour. Maybe if you understood why you act this way, it might help you to control it?
Anyway, like i say, telling your boyfriend will only serve to hurt him and you still won't know why you act the way you do.
Good luck.
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