A
female
age
51-59,
*an't talk
writes:I am a 39 yr old female who has been in a relationship for over 10 years. I man has always been affectionate and loves to talk. I guess he is every woman's dream. Don't get me wrong, he is not perfect. But he is close enough. The problem is me. I have always hated to talk and be close to anyone but I never knew why until now. You see, I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Because I was violated in the past I can't seem to get past the hurt and pain of having someone I once trusted and loved violate me. How can I help my man to understand why I am not the way he wants me to be? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, AngelofLove  +, writes (17 January 2007):
 I agreed with cd206, councelling is advisable.
Together and individual councelling would be good for you.
It is up to you how long you need to be able to trust again as everyone is different.
The only way to help him understand is by talking about it, otherwise how does he know you feel or that you really love him but find it difficult.
You say that it is hard to talk about it, nobody can blame you for that.
I am sure that you do not want to push him away by not discussing it with your guy but you need to try.
You may be supprised of how much more understanding he can be by letting him know how you really feel and why. It may actually help you to stop punishing yourself further by denying yourself best thing in life, romance.
Just remember, nothing can change the past, but you can change your present and control your future. Do not let anyone else take any more years of your life from you, they have taken enough already.
Say to yourself, "No Pain Enough is Enough", and take control of your life now.
Allow yourself to be happy and this man to make you happy. You deserve to live your life.
A
female
reader, cd206 +, writes (17 January 2007):
 Do you receive counselling for your PTSD? If so take your boyfriend along for a few weeks and let him see how it works. If you're not in counselling maybe ask your doctor to refer you. Even if you've had counselling in the past you obviously still have issues that need to be explored. Talk to him about your condition. I realise that it's hard being honest with guys but he sounds great from what you've said. I'm sure your honesty will be well received and he'll be as sensitive as possible when you're having problems coping. Hope this helps.
CD
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